Hey GE
I'm sorry you are suffering so much and feeling unsupported...
To answer your question though I don't think now is the right time to
make any decisions regarding the future of the relationship. I know how
hard it is and how betrayed and vulnerable you feel now, but is it
possible for you to focus on getting yourself stronger and in a less
vulnerable place and then make decisions about the future of the relationship?
This is what my therapist and psychiatrist said to me a few months back when
I was in a similar sounding place to you. You have time and you don't need to
distract yourself from your own pain by focusing on the pain your husband is
causing you currently. My therapist always says "through pain we grow" and I
have found this to be true for me...I hope you are on the verge of a life-changing
realisation and that you will soon reap the benefits of all this pain you are
currently going through.
I would suggest you keep yourself safe and maybe try and detach from
how your husband seems to be letting you down now; focus on you, not your marriage
and when you are stronger and in less pain, make decisions then.
This is what I have done and it has helped me. If this doesn't work for you, feel
free to ignore!
I do feel for you. Working on your own healing is so hard and painful and you
must be livid that your husband is failing to support you
Sending hugs!

Searching

No GE, I could not, one of the reasons I have split with my H. He was unable to support me through the deaths of both my brothers, and generally in life. Can you not go and stay with someone for a while until you are settled?

Hey GE,

For me I don't think it would be a deal breaker. I'm not saying that's a good or a bad thing, just how I am, at least at this point of my life.

Hopefully I wouldn't "just swallow" it either. I think I'd wait to fight it out/work through things until I was feeling a bit stronger. I'm actually in a slightly similar situation right now. . . probably less intense than what you are facing, but I've been going through a tough time and support from H has been less than forthcoming. I'm going to try to just focus on getting myself to a better place and dealing with him later.

((((GE))))

I went through a period not so long ago when I was craving nurturing and comfort. I had three men in my life at the time (not lovers) all of whom I would have felt comfortable on some level being that vulnerable with but couldn't get that comfort from any of them for one reason or another.

It was pure torture. I don't know if that's similar to what you are going through. For me, it was as if there was this tremendous need inside of me that was begging to be met and there was the possibility of getting it met. That little part of me held onto that possibility, that promise because the possibility of it was soo close I could smell it but I wasn't allowed to taste it. Like I needed to reach out to touch someone, there was an actual force inside me pushing outward, but I couldn't because it would burn but if I didn't that would burn too. I felt trapped inside my own little hell.

It has to be excruciatingly painful to expose your pain to your H and have it met with rejection. He's close, physically and emotionally. He's the one who should do the job but he's not doing it. To have it an inch away from you but not be able to get it has to be maddening. Does H tell you why he won't comfort you when you need him?

GE
Hugs to you! I'm sorry ur having a difficult time. You received a variety of answers so something for you to think about.
I do know that thru my marriage & having mental issues that the worst time for me to make a big decision is when I'm not well. I've learned that I'll make extreme decisions then & sometimes regret it. That's just me.
As for the H part I know how extremely difficult it can b when you don't feel supported by him. In my case I not only feel unsupported but totally betrayed to the point of my H trying to get even, almost vindictive. Every nite I wonder why I don't file divorce papers.
With that being said I always advocate to keep a marriage together. You have a little one right? You have many things to contemplate so I suggest baby steps. In any direction you go just go slow. Take care of yourself first! Because if Moma ain't happy nobody's happy.
Peace
Mud