Dealing with the emotional roller coaster?

room2growCo-moderator

Well, maybe not the roller coaster, but I sure am struggling to deal with two emotions that have taken over my world.

Anger. Sadness.

A few weeks ago was a big outpouring of anger, which was really new for me to handle. Worked through it somewhat and put some tools in place to help me better deal with the anger when it arises (since I can't safely stuff it down any longer.)

The problem now is sadness. I have been so gloomy and sad, pretty much every waking hour, for nearly two weeks. I don't know how to handle it anymore. I'm letting myself cry when I need to. I'm not trying to cheer myself up. I've blogged about it. I'm trying just to sit with the sadness... but it is so painful.

I now have tools to deal with anger... but this sadness thing? The only tool I can think of is to hide away in bed until it passes, which at this rate... any other ideas?

2/24/127:14 PM

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bltMember

(((R2G)))

An interesting thing I've found is that without shutting our the sadness, to an extent you can be happy at the same time, and it balances things out a little bit if you can do that. It's kind of like you're holding the sadness in one hand, and it's really heavy and you're bending over just to carry it. Well, you can't necessarily drop the sadness but you can put some beauty or comfort or happiness in the other hand to help balance some of the weight. Nothing too big. Just letting yourself think about a happy memory, or look at something beautiful, or watch a funny movie or something. It might help a little. And it might help you find the gentle side of the sadness that isn't quite so painful...more like a letting go.

I think you're brave to let yourself feel all these things.

2/24/127:27 PM

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room2growCo-moderator

Thanks BLT... I like the analogy!

There's a lot of emotional stuff happening in my life - big family wedding coming up, family coming into town that I don't see often, etc, and instead of making me happy, I'm feeling quite sad instead, and I know I'm going to have to put on a happy face if this isn't passed by the time all that rolls around.

It's hard. I have literally wasted the weekend doing absolutely nothing, and now here it is, Sunday evening, and I've got to get everything done that I should have been doing but didn't. Instead, I'm sitting here knitting and watching movies. Go figure.

2/26/122:11 PM

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number9Member

Hi Room 2 grow:

Is it pure sadness? Sometimes I go through crying spells that feels like grief if I don't allow myself to process anger. If it gets really bad, I become depressed. Of course, you are doing a better job than I, often I don't let myself cry.

And sometimes it is pure grief. Grief is sneaky, isn't it?

I also agree with BLT- it is possible to carry several emotions at once. This is when I watch or listen to something sad..it helps to know that I'm not the only person on the planet who experiences the pain of sadness.... and then something light or funny, when I'm ready for it.

I also think you are brave and a well-rounded and real human being for feeling all of these emotions. They are the basis for some wonderful human qualities such as compassion, which seems hard to come by these days.

2/26/122:22 PM

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room2growCo-moderator

hi number9...

I actually think you are on to something with the grief, and that it is mostly sadness, but yes, I'm grieving a bit too. Either way, they both feel rather unsettling to me.

I have been told that it is possible to have multiple emotions happening at once, I just don't know how to hold them all without falling apart.

So that's what I did. I fell apart tonight. And I've cried for the past three hours. It's well after midnight, yes I have an early day tomorrow, and I can't sleep cause every time I close my eyes I get sad, and I cry, and the whole messy cycle starts again. I certainly don't feel very brave and wish I could will my way out of these feelings. I wish that there were other (healthy) ways to handle feelings aside from just moving through them.

2/28/129:38 PM

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number9Member

Hope you are feeling better today.

Sounds cheesy, but I like to listen to the saddest music I can find. Johnny Cash, Radiohead, Mozart's Requiem mass, Frank Sinatra's "One for my Baby, and One for the Road", etc..it's very personal.

Not to smother with advice, but a very healing "project" that I did when I was having one of those nights- I posted my "top ten sad songs" on Facebook. And just listened to the songs till I got swept up in it and cried and it wore me out, and I eventually feel asleep.

So, possibly moving through pain doesn't have to be about doing it alone? Sometimes I wonder if it would help to get together with a group of people just to play the blues.

Just one of the possibilities.