..is a hard one to understand.

As a wee one my mother wasn't able to fulfill my need for love. At first, I would have wailed my head off for it, but bub me felt rejected each time. What does bubby do with all that pent up anger/rage 4_ 5 times a day for …... length of time?

Brain sorts that load of anger/rage by repressing it.

Ma's can feel very angry if bubs don’t stop crying. And perhaps bubs can sense their mums anger via touch, pheromones, vibes and such. Anyway, bubbies learn to stop asking for love or they might feel even more rejected. Bubby says, "If mum gets too angry with me she might not feed me." Therefore, rejecting mums can become pretty threatening to an unloved bubby. I was a very 'placid' infant, and one that was hospitalised with ? failure to thrive. I learnt to shut up and survive very quickly.

Within a few months of birth I would have had a huge amount of anger in store which in turn made me a very anxious, and needy child. I was a real 'clinger' with very little to cling to.

Moving on to adulthood while stumbling through all the basic growth blocks that one instinctively has to go through, I stood on very shaky ground, emotionally. I had an overload of anger in store, and became very shy and terrified of rejection. Each time I was rejected, it stirred up my repressed rage, which still felt like it threatened my very existence. The 'Fight or flight' mechanism had me unable to defend myself, instead I RAN. I panicked each time I sensed rejection was near, and avoided it at all costs.

I had too much anger in store and a load of fear on top of it to ensure that anger didn’t show (per chance more rejection.) Fear of anger popped on a lid of depression to hold it all in. I became an approval seeking robot that was heading for self destruction by aged 23yrs.

All bubbies get rejected by their mums to some degree, and all bubbies repress a certain amount of rage when their needs are not met. The signs and symptoms of emotional problems in bubbies, teens, and adults are easier to detect when their reaction or over reaction to rejection is more apparent than that of the "norm". Our anger can reach a critical level of "overload" during stressful times more so than the 'norm.' That is why life is more of a challenge to us.

Making sense?