HB,
That is amazing, thank you for sharing that. What you just described is to me the heart of how healing takes place. Instead of reacting in knee jerk way based on old patterns that might have trapped you, you stayed and looked at how you were feeling. Which is often the most difficult part. When we don't get the help we need to deal with our emotions, we learn to just avoid them. That's part of what is SO limiting. When you're busy trying to NOT have emotions, it can really limit what you can do because so many of your choices will look wrong or not even be consciously visible because they might lead you to feel. It was incredibly courageous of you to stay there and feel that panic.

Then being able to see that what you so feared, that feeling that would somehow overcome you or wipe you out, didn't happen. That you could feel it and even get past it is an experience which stands in such direct contrast to what you've known before. Which makes it easier to make that choice next time too. I really understand why it feels like a huge shift on a profound level, it was.

You were very brave and should be happy about what you did. I didn't think I could feel better right now, but this did it for me!

AG

(((HB)))
thank you for your post to my thread. I relate so much to your feelings. I once described my wrong feeling as "I'm not a real person". They didn't get it but I suspect you might. I look real but inside I'm not like everybody else.

I appreciate you trying to explain observing yourself and how it feels for you. I am impressed you were able to feel and observe the fear in yourself and that you got "I can". I am so glad for you that your next session was easier (or more talkative). It sounds like a fundamental shift to me. Hearing stories like this from you and others who have had lasting insights is so inspirational.

What are you going to do when you move? post more on that when you are ready.