springreen - I'm sorry I don't have much in the way of suggestions. Therapy expenses are killing our finances right now, so I can totally understand why it would be hard to go, especially if you aren't finding it to be rewarding. I didn't have a lot of experience with therapy, just some here and there. I never found it valuable at all and then somehow, with my current T, something just happened and the "stupid" (my word, not yours) talking made a difference. It unlocked stuff I never really accessed before. I know you say it doesn't appeal to you, but all I can think is maybe the right fit might make a difference.

I don't have any experience with group therapy or meds or anything else, except community groups at church, where you get close to a group of people while you study and/or volunteer together. I'm betting others would be more help than I would.

Hi Springreen,

I second BG's suggestion...I know you've been in a university run DBT group, but are there other groups that are offered? Perhaps over the summer? Also, I know you said that you don't think counseling is for you, but have you shared this with a T or group leader? I know that my school offers individual sessions in addition to group sessions, so you might see about that. Up to 10 sessions are free of cost for me. Some schools also offer regular sessions for a small fee (about $5 to $25 a session), although I'm not sure about yours.

I respect your opinion about medication, but keep in mind that nothing you're doing in counseling or anything that meds would treat is meant to specifically treat SI. Rather, it's meant to target the feelings behind the SI. I'm on meds, and my urges go up when I'm not, because my depression is the fuel for all of the crummy feelings that make me want to SI.

I went to a group that my school ran about a year ago. It lasted 10 sessions. I don't know if this helps or not, but I didn't find it very helpful either, and I'm a big proponent of therapy. Our groups are semester long (not even quite that long), and it seems to me that the time limit makes it darn near impossible to actually gain any ground. I'm not very quick to trust, either. The group leaders had to prompt me every single session or else I wouldn't ever say anything.

I hope some of that helps, Springreen, but feel free to toss it aside if it doesn't. ((((SG))))

Thanks everyone for the hugs and advice

I do appreciate the advice and this board is full of some very helpful, lovely people but I think I won't really be posting here anymore. Partly for privacy reasons since I recently discovered my DBT P reads this board (he doesn't know I know - I saw it bookmarked on his computer by accident). It's also partly because I spend way too much time online and need to cut it down. So thanks everyone and good luck with your treatments

yikes, SG!!! I can understand the need to bolt after seeing that- but I wonder if you would feel ok forming some relationships by PM here that wouldn't be seen by your T? Just for the support that you need. It is just a thought.

Hugs, SG- please feel free to PM me anytime.

BB

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!

This scares the shit out of me.

Yeah, sorry to hear that. That would scare me quite a bit as well! But, please do PM any of us if you need support!!!