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Hi,
I am starting to think more and more that it matters that I don't feel like I've ever been really here 100%. It's not a new idea. A couple of years ago I noticed that I had some moments in which I felt very real, and that made me aware that throughout most of my life I have not felt very real, even when I had relatively good periods of my life.

Sometimes now I have to visualize a picture of myself to make me feel more settled and sure. And sometimes I literally ask myself to stay--just stay with me. Sometimes I do this in the mirror. (Now this is getting embarrassing, but...) Like I want me to be here with me, but...I don't know.

So, my question is, does anyone know what makes people who feel sort of unreal feel better? I read a thing somewhere that said that emotional stimulation made people feel better, but I'm not sure at all and I can't find the source again.

I mean whatever it is, it is mild enough, I suppose, but I have no doubt that it is extremely chronic for me, like maybe my whole life.

I saw a psychiatric nurse last year and I tried to emphasize the not feeling real symptoms over the depression symptoms, that are also just so chronic that I don't even think it is really depression--maybe dysthymia. She called me and said that my symptoms were not significant enough to warrant medication, which is OK, but it makes me wonder about how much it matters in the psych world that I have mild symptoms but so chronic.

OK, so back to my question, which is does anyone know of any little strategies for people who don't feel very real to feel better with that?

Also I am worrying that this is maybe the reason I have to keep having therapy and never quite get OK. Because I am never really here and I am not real enough to have something fixable that is wrong with me.
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(((Quell))) it sounds like you have some of the same symptoms i do. feeling unreal, in general. i guess this is not something i have ever disclosed to my T for whatever reason, but probably should? i don't know. tomorrow i have an appt with my primary P. maybe i'll discuss this with him, although i already have a boatload to discuss. if i'm present enough to mention it, i will for sure report back.

good luck. not feeling real is not much fun.Frowner Hug two
(((QUELL)))

I just took a questionnaire re: dissociation and also ordered onno van der harts book called "coping with trauma-related dissociation." It's for therapists and clients to work on together. My T is looking it over but I looked at it before I gave it to him and it has some VERY practical strategies for trying to overcome dissociation. We are going to start working with the book but it really looks terrific so far.

I'm trying to attach the questionnaire but I'm having trouble.
I frequently dont feel 'real' or inside of myself either. And like you it is chronic and I've been like it for as long as I can remember. Mine comes with a feeling of detatchment though - I notice it when it is particularly extreme, but I dont 'feel' worried about it at all - more slightly bemused perhaps.

No idea what the cure is, but that book sounds helpful Liese.

SB
Oh, Held. You need excel or something similar. I don't think it would work though with the questionnaire the way it posted here because I had to convert it to text, I think, in order to post it and that took out all the formatting.

I'll see, though, if I can figure out a general way to take a look at it and score it without using excel.
TRIGGER WARNING

This will tell you what questions relate to each characteristic being tested. It might be triggering. It won't give you a score though.



Validity Scales
Defensiveness Scale Mean: 10.0 Cutoff Score: 100.0
0 1. (0) While watching TV, you find that you are thinking about something else.
0 10 (0) Forgetting errands that you had planned to do.
0 33. (0) While reading, you find that you are thinking about something else.
0 65. (0) Being impulsive.
0 87. (0) Not being able to remember something, but feeling that it is “right on the tip of your tongue.”
0 88. (0) Making decisions too quickly.
0 100. (0) Listening to someone and realizing that you did not hear part of what he/she said.
0 109. (0) Forgetting where you put something.
0 110. (0) Having dreams that you don’t remember the next day.
0 121. (0) Daydreaming.
0 132. (0) Being unable to recall something---then, something “jogs” your memory and you remember it.
0 142. (0) Having to go back and correct mistakes that you made.
Emotional Suffering Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 29. (5) Nobody cares about you.
0 35. (5) Feeling empty and painfully alone.
0 45. (5) Feeling mad.
0 54. (6) Being rejected by others.
0 59. (3) Being angry that your life is ruined.
0 62. (7) Nobody understands how much you hurt.
0 68. (5) Not being able to keep friends.
0 73. (5) Feeling the pain of never being really special to anyone.
0 96. (5) Thinking about how little attention you received from your parents.
0 111. (6) Desperately wanting to talk to someone about your pain or distress.
0 124. (7) Feeling hurt.
0 213. (5) Wishing that someone would finally realize how much you hurt.
Attention-Seeking Behavior Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 12. (3) Trying to make someone jealous.
0 47. (5) Talking to others about how you have been hurt or mistreated.
0 51. (5) Talking to others about very serious traumas that you have experienced.
0 93. (7) Seeing or talking with others who have the same disorder that you have.
0 128. (6) Telling others about your psychological disorder(s).
0 175. (6) Being willing to do or say almost anything to get somebody to feel that you are ‘special.’
0 178. (4)
Being pleased by the concern and sympathy of others when they hear about the traumas that you have suffered.
Rare Symptoms Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 11. (1)
Feeling that your mind or body has been taken over by a famous person (for example, Elvis Presley, Jesus Christ, Madonna, President Kennedy, etc.).
0 26. (1)
Your mind being controlled by an external force (for example, microwaves, the CIA, radiation from outer space, etc.).
0 40. (1) Feeling that the color of your body is changing.
0 52. (1) Your thoughts being broadcast so that other people can actually hear them.
0 55. (1) Feeling the presence of an old man inside you who wants to read his newspaper or go to the bathroom.
0 98. (1)
Hearing voices, which come from unusual places (for example, the air conditioner, the computer, the walls, etc.), that try to tell you what to do.
0 126. (1)
Part of your body (for example, arm, leg, head, etc.) seems to disappear and doesn’t re-appear for several days.
0 153. (1)
Having trance-like episodes during which you see yourself being taken into a spaceship and experimented on by aliens.
0 163. (1) Hearing a voice in your head that keeps talking about AIDS and homosexuals.
0 167. (1) Going into trance and being possessed by a spirit or demon.
0 182. (1)
Switching back and forth between feeling like a human and feeling like a member of some other species (for example, a cat, a dog, a squirrel, etc.).
0 206. (1) Having flashbacks of poor episodes of your favorite TV show.
Factitious Behavior Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 21. (1)
Pretending that something upsetting happened to you so that others would care about you (for example, being raped, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, etc.).
0 38. (1)
Pretending that you have a physical illness in order to get sympathy (for example, flu, cancer, headache, having an operation, etc.).
0 63. (3)
Exaggerating the symptoms of a physical illness (that you genuinely have) in order to get sympathy or attention (for example, flu, cold, headache, fever, pain, etc.).
0 70. (2) Having to ‘stretch the truth’ to get your doctor’s (or therapist’s) concern or attention.
0 75. (7) Hurting yourself so that someone would care or pay attention.
0 130. (2)
Exaggerating the symptoms of a psychological illness (that you genuinely have) in order to get sympathy or attention (for example, depression, bulimia, posttraumatic stress disorder, memory blackouts, being suicidal, etc.).
0 155. (3)
Exaggerating something bad that once happened to you (for example, rape, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mistreatment by our spouse, etc.) in order to get attention or sympathy.
Criterion A: General Dissociative Symptoms
Memory Problems Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (5): 0.0
0 2. (4) Forgetting what you did earlier in the day.
0 24. (2) Not remembering what you ate at your last meal---or even whether you ate.
0 67. (3) Not remembering large parts of your childhood after age 5.
0 78. (5) Feeling that pieces of your past are missing.
0 79 (3) Immediately forgetting what other people tell you.
0 90. (3) Feeling that important things happened to you earlier in your life, but you cannot remember them.
0 102. (3) Feeling that there are large gaps in your memory.
0 122. (3) Being able to remember very little of your past.
0 134. (2)
Not being able to remember important events in your life (for example, your wedding day, the birth of your child, your grandmother’s funeral, taking your final exams, etc.).
0 143. (2) Poor memory causing serious difficulty for you.
0 154. (4) Being bothered or upset by how much you forget.
0 211. (2) Not remembering where you were the day before.
Depersonalization Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 3. (3) Feeling as if your body (or certain parts of it) are unreal.
0 25. (4) Feeling like you’re only partially ‘there’ (or not really ‘there’ at all).
0 36. (2) Feeling mechanical or not really human.
0 44. (4) Feeling very detached from your behavior as you “go through the motions” of daily life.
0 91. (1) Standing outside of your body, watching yourself as if you were another person.
0 103. (2)
Feeling as if you are two different people---one who is going through the motions of daily life and the other who is just watching.
0 113. (4) Your mind blocking or going totally empty.
0 123. (1) Not recognizing yourself in the mirror.
0 133. (3) Feeling like you are ‘inside’ yourself, watching what you are doing.
0 135. (3) Feeling distant or removed from your thoughts and actions.
0 164. (2) Feeling that part of your body is disconnected (detached) from the rest of your body.
0 172. (1) Feeling as if part of your body (or your whole body) has disappeared.
Derealization Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 5. (3) Things around you suddenly seeming strange.
0 13. (2) Feeling as if close friends, relatives, or your own home seems strange or foreign.
0 37. (3) Things around you feeling unreal.
0 48. (2) Being in a familiar place, but finding it strange and unfamiliar.
0 58. (1) Feeling that other people, objects, or the world around you are not real.
0 69. (4) Feeling disconnected from everything around you.
0 80. (1) Not being sure about what is real (and what is unreal) in your surroundings.
0 92. (2) Feeling as if you were looking at the world through a fog so that people and objects felt far away or unclear.
0 104. (1) Feeling that your surroundings (or other people) were fading away or disappearing.
0 114. (2) Feeling like time slows down or stops.
0 144. (2) Feeling that your vision was suddenly sharper or that colors suddenly seemed more vivid or more intense.
0 136. (1) Things around you seeming to change size or shape.
Flashbacks Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (5): 0.0
0 14. (2)
Reliving a traumatic event so vividly that you totally lose contact with where you actually are (that is, you think that you are ‘back there and then’).
0 66. (1) Being so bothered by flashbacks that it was hard to get out of bed and face the day.
0 81. (1)
Being so bothered by flashbacks that it is hard to function at work (or it is hard to carry out your daily responsibilities).
0 105. (1) Having traumatic flashbacks that make you want to inflict pain on yourself.
0 115. (2) Bad memories coming into your mind and you can’t get rid of them.
0 125. (1) Re-experiencing body sensations from a past traumatic event.
0 137. (1) Having traumatic flashbacks that make you want to die.
0 145. (2) Reliving a past trauma so vividly that you see it, hear it, feel it, smell it, etc.
0 156. (1)
Reliving a traumatic event so totally that you think that a present-day person is actually a person from the trauma (for example, being home with your partner, suddenly reliving being raped by your alcoholic uncle, and actually thinking that your partner is your uncle---that is, you see your uncle in front of you instead of seeing your partner).
0 168. (2) Having snapshots of past trauma that suddenly flash in your mind.
0 176. (2) Having nightmares about a trauma from your past.
0 192. (1) Being bothered by flashbacks for several days in a row.
Somatoform Symptoms Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 7. (2) Having pain in your genitals (for no known medical reason).
0 15. (1) Having difficulty swallowing (for no known medical reason).
0 27. (1) Having no feeling at all in your body (for no known medical reason).
0 39. (1) Not being able to see for a while (as if you are blind) (for no known medical reason).
0 60. (1) Being paralyzed or unable to move (for no known medical reason).
0 71. (1) Not being able to hear for a while (as if you are deaf) (for no known medical reason).
0 82. (1) Having difficulty walking (for no known medical reason).
0 94. (1) Having seizures for which your doctor can find no reason.
0 166. (1) Hearing sounds from nearby as if they were coming from far away (for no known medical reason).
0 169. (1) Feeling no pain (when you should have felt pain) (for no known medical reason).
0 181. (1) Having pain while urinating (for no known medical reason).
0 183. (1) Having ‘tunnel vision’ (where your visual field narrows down to just a tunnel) (for no known medical reason).
Trance Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (5): 0.0
0 16. (4) Having trance-like episodes where you stare off into space and lose awareness of what is going on around you.
0 77. (2) People think that you live “in a world of your own.”
0 95. (1) Going into trance so much (or for so long) that it interferes with your daily activities and responsibilities.
0 106. (1) Going into trance for hours.
0 116. (2) Drifting into trance without even realizing that it is happening.
0 127. (4) When something upsetting starts to happen, you ‘go away’ in your mind.
0 139. (1) Being bothered by how much you ‘trance out.’
0 147. (1) Going into trance several days in a row.
0 157. (3) Thinking about nothing.
0 177. (2) People noticing your blank stare and the fact that you are ‘gone.’
0 184. (1) Having difficulty staying out of trance.
0 194. (3) Not remembering what happens when you drive a familiar route in your car.
Criterion B: The Partially-Dissociated Manifestations of Another Self-State
(i.e. consciously experienced intrusions)
Child Voices Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (1): 0.0
0 6. (2) Hearing the voice of a child in your head.
0 97. (2) Hearing a lot of noise or yelling in your head.
0 118. (1) Hearing voices crying in your head.
Voices/Internal Struggle Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (3): 0.0
0 42. (1) Hearing a voice in your head that tries to tell you what to do.
0 112. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that tries to control what you do or say.
0 120. (2) Something in your mind interferes when you think about things that you ‘shouldn’t’ think about.
0 161. (1) Feeling as if there is something inside you that takes control of your behavior or speech.
0 190. (3) Feeling as if there is a struggle going on inside of you about who you really are.
0 199. (1) Hearing a voice in your head that tells you to “shut up.”
0 210. (5) Feeling a struggle inside you about what to think, how to feel, what you should do.
0 212. (3) Feeling that another part or entity inside you tries to stop you from doing or saying something.
0 215. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that seems to hate you.
Persecutory Voices Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 84. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to hurt yourself.
0 140. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you names (for example, wimp, stupid, whore, slut, bitch, etc.).
0 159. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to die.
0 171. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you a liar or tells you that certain events never happened.
0 207. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you no good, worthless, or a failure.
Speech Insertion Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 9. (3) Hearing yourself talk, but you don’t feel that you are choosing the words that are coming out of your mouth.
0 99. (2) Words just flowing from your mouth as if they were not in your control.
0 117. (1) Words come out of your mouth, but you didn’t say them---you don’t know where those words came from.
Thought Insertion Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (3): 0.0
0 22. (3) Strong thoughts in your head that “come from out of nowhere.”
0 146. (3) Your thoughts and feelings are so changeable that you don’t understand yourself.
0 151. (3) Thoughts coming into your mind that you cannot stop.
0 180. (2) Having thoughts that don’t really seem to belong to you.
0 210. (5) Feeling a struggle inside you about what to think, how to feel, what you should do.
'Made'/Intrusive Feelings Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 32. (4) Strong feelings of emotional pain and hurt that come from out of nowhere.
0 57. (3) Your moods changing so rapidly that you don’t know what you are going to feel from one minute to the next.
0 101. (3) Sudden strong feelings of anger that seem to come from out of nowhere.
0 146. (3) Your thoughts and feelings are so changeable that you don’t understand yourself.
0 185. (3) Your mood changing rapidly without any reason.
0 193. (3) Being confused or puzzled by your emotions.
0 196. (3) Very strong feelings (for example, fear, or anger, or emotional pain and hurt) that suddenly go away.
'Made'/Intrusive Impulses Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 34. (2) Having strong impulses to do something---but the impulses don’t feel like they belong to you.
0 112. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that tries to control what you do or say.
0 212. (3) Feeling that another part or entity inside you tries to stop you from doing or saying something.
'Made'/Intrusive Actions Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 8. (2) Having another personality that sometimes ‘takes over.’
0 17. (3) Being puzzled by what you do or say.
0 72. (2) Feeling like you are often different from yourself.
0 91. (1) Standing outside of your body, watching yourself as if you were another person.
0 107. (2) Feeling like some of your behavior isn’t really ‘yours.’
0 133. (3) Feeling like you are ‘inside’ yourself, watching what you are doing.
0 135. (3) Feeling distant or removed from your thoughts and actions.
0 161. (1) Feeling as if there is something inside you that takes control of your behavior or speech.
0 208. (3) Having a very angry part that ‘comes out’ and says and does things that you would never do or say.
Temporary Loss of Knowledge Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 46. (1) Being unable to remember who you are.
0 56. (1) Being unable to remember your name, or age, or address.
0 131. (3) Being able to do something really well one time---and then not being able to do it at all at another time.
0 162. (2)
Totally forgetting how to do something that you know very well how to do (for example, how to drive, how to read, how to use the computer, how to play the piano, etc.).
0 189. (2) Suddenly not knowing how to do your job.
Experience of Self-Alteration Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (4): 0.0
0 4. (3) Having an emotion (for example, fear, sadness, anger, happiness) that doesn’t feel like it is 'yours.'
0 72. (2) Feeling like you are often different from yourself.
0 83. (3) Switching back and forth between feeling like an adult and feeling like a child.
0 107. (2) Feeling like some of your behavior isn’t really ‘yours.’
0 150. (1)
Discovering that you have changed your appearance (for example, cut your hair, or changed your hairstyle, or changed what you are wearing, or put on cosmetics, etc.) with no memory of having done so.
0 180. (2) Having thoughts that don’t really seem to belong to you.
0 188. (2) Suddenly feeling very small, like a young child.
0 191. (1) Your body suddenly feeling as if it isn’t really yours.
0 197. (1) Looking in the mirror and seeing someone other than yourself.
0 200. (2) People telling you that you sometimes act so differently that you seem like another person.
0 201. (1) Switching back and forth between feeling like a man and feeling like a woman.
0 203. (1) Feeling that your feet or hands (or other parts of your body) have changed in size.
Self-Puzzlement Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (3): 0.0
0 17. (3) Being puzzled by what you do or say.
0 49. (3) Feeling uncertain about who you really are.
0 57. (3) Your moods changing so rapidly that you don’t know what you are going to feel from one minute to the next.
0 89. (3) Feeling very confused about who you really are.
0 146. (3) Your thoughts and feelings are so changeable that you don’t understand yourself.
0 158. (4) Feeling like you are not the same kind of person all the time.
0 165. (4) Wishing you knew why you feel and behave the way you do.
0 193. (3) Being confused or puzzled by your emotions.
Criterion C: The Fully-Dissociated Effects of Alters and Self-States (i.e. Amnesia)
Time Loss Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 23. (3) Having blank spells or blackouts in your memory.
0 31. (3) ‘Losing’ a chunk of time and having a total blank for it.
0 85. (3) When something upsetting happens, you go blank and lose a chunk of time.
0 141. (2) Suddenly realizing that hours have gone by and not knowing what you were doing during that time.
"Coming to" Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 50. (2)
‘Coming to’ in the middle of a conversation with someone and having no idea what you and that person have been talking about---you didn’t even know that you were having a conversation.
0 74. (2)
Suddenly ‘waking up’ in the middle of doing something (that you were completely unaware you were doing) (for example, vacuuming the carpet, cooking dinner, spanking the children, driving the car, etc.).
0 179. (1)
‘Coming to’ and finding that you have done something you don’t remember doing (for example, smashed something, cut yourself, cleaned the whole house, etc.).
0 204. (1)
There were times when you ‘came to’ and found pills or a razor blade (or something else to hurt yourself with) in your hand.
Fugue Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 64. (2) Finding yourself lying in bed (on the sofa, etc.) with no memory of how you got there.
0 86. (1) After a nightmare, you wake up and find yourself not in bed (for example, on the floor, in the closet, etc.).
0 119. (2) Suddenly finding yourself standing someplace and you can’t remember what you have been doing before that.
0 160. (1)
Suddenly finding yourself somewhere odd at home (for example, inside the closet, under a bed, curled up on the floor, etc.) with no knowledge of how you got there.
0 173. (1)
Suddenly finding yourself somewhere (for example, at the beach, at work, in a nightclub, in your car, etc.) with no memory of how you got there.
Being Told of Disremembered Actions Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 19. (3) Being told of things that you had recently done, but with absolutely no memory of having done those things.
0 53. (1)
Being told that there were times when you did not recognize friends or family members (for example, asking your spouse or friend, “Who are you?”).
0 129. (2) When you are angry, doing or saying things that you don’t remember (after you calm down).
0 152. (2)
Being told about things that you did---that you don’t remember doing and would never do (for example, swearing like a sailor, being very mad, acting like a young child, or being very sexual).
Finding Objects Among Possessions Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 43. (2) Finding things at home (for example, shoes, clothes, toys, toilet articles, etc.), that you don’t remember buying.
0 76. (2) Finding things in your shopping bags, which you don’t remember buying.
0 187. (2) Finding things that you must have written (or drawn), but with no memory of having done so.
0 205. (1) Finding writings at your home in handwriting that you don’t recognize.
Finding Evidence of Recent Actions Scale Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score (2): 0.0
0 108. (2)
Finding something that has been done (for example, the lawn mowed, the kitchen painted, a task at work completed, etc.), that you don’t remember doing---but knowing that you must be the one who did it.
0 150. (1)
Discovering that you have changed your appearance (for example, cut your hair, or changed your hairstyle, or changed what you are wearing, or put on cosmetics, etc.) with no memory of having done so.
0 170. (2)
Discovering that you have a significant injury (for example, a cut, or a burn, or many bruises), and having no memory of how it happened.
0 186. (1) Discovering that you have attempted suicide, but having no memory of having done it.
0 217. (2) Things in your home disappear or get moved around (and you don’t know how this is happening).
Self-Alteration, Self-States, & Alters
I Have DID Scale: Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 138. (2) Feeling that you have multiple personalities.
0 149. (2) Having other people (or parts) inside you who have their own names.
0 174. (2) Feeling that there is another person inside you who can come out and speak if it wants.
0 202. (2) Having another part inside that has different memories, behaviors, and feelings than you do.
I Have Parts Scale: Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 8. (2) Having another personality that sometimes ‘takes over.’
0 28. (3) Feeling divided, as if you have several independent parts or sides.
0 112. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that tries to control what you do or say.
0 208. (3) Having a very angry part that ‘comes out’ and says and does things that you would never do or say.
0 212. (3) Feeling that another part or entity inside you tries to stop you from doing or saying something.
0 215. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that seems to hate you.
Child Parts: Mean: 0.0
0 6. (2) Hearing the voice of a child in your head.
0 18. (2) Seeing images of a child who seems to ‘live’ in your head.
0 83. (3) Switching back and forth between feeling like an adult and feeling like a child.
0 97. (2) Hearing a lot of noise or yelling in your head.
0 118. (1) Hearing voices crying in your head.
0 188. (2) Suddenly feeling very small, like a young child.
0 218. (3) Noticing the presence of a child inside you.
Helper Parts: Mean: 0.0
0 216. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that is soothing, helpful, or protective.
Angry Parts: Mean: 0.0
0 99. (2) Words just flowing from your mouth as if they were not in your control.
0 112. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that tries to control what you do or say.
0 129. (2) When you are angry, doing or saying things that you don’t remember (after you calm down).
0 208. (3) Having a very angry part that ‘comes out’ and says and does things that you would never do or say.
Persecutor Parts: Mean: 0.0
0 84. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to hurt yourself.
0 140. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you names (for example, wimp, stupid, whore, slut, bitch, etc.).
0 159. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to die.
0 171. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you a liar or tells you that certain events never happened.
0 199. (1) Hearing a voice in your head that tells you to “shut up.”
0 207. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that calls you no good, worthless, or a failure.
0 215. (2) Feeling the presence of an angry part in your head that seems to hate you.
Psychosis Screen Mean: 0.0 Cutoff Score: 0.0
0 11. (1)
Feeling that your mind or body has been taken over by a famous person (for example, Elvis Presley, Jesus Christ, Madonna, President Kennedy, etc.).
0 26. (1)
Your mind being controlled by an external force (for example, microwaves, the CIA, radiation from outer space, etc.).
0 52. (1) Your thoughts being broadcast so that other people can actually hear them.
0 98. (1)
Hearing voices, which come from unusual places (for example, the air conditioner, the computer, the walls, etc.), that try to tell you what to do.
Characterological Scales
Intrusiveness Scale: Mean: 0.0
0 21. (1)
Pretending that something upsetting happened to you so that others would care about you (for example, being raped, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, etc.).
0 47. (5) Talking to others about how you have been hurt or mistreated.
0 52. (1) Your thoughts being broadcast so that other people can actually hear them.
0 132. (8) Being unable to recall something---then, something “jogs” your memory and you remember it.
0 155. (3)
Exaggerating something bad that once happened to you (for example, rape, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mistreatment by our spouse, etc.) in order to get attention or sympathy.
Identity Confusion Scale: Mean: 0.0
0 165. (4) Wishing you knew why you feel and behave the way you do.
0 148. (3) Not feeling together, not feeling whole.
0 193. (3) Being confused or puzzled by your emotions.
0 41. (3) Feeling split or divided inside.
0 158. (4) Feeling like you are not the same kind of person all the time.
0 49. (3) Feeling uncertain about who you really are.
0 190. (3) Feeling as if there is a struggle going on inside of you about who you really are.
0 17. (3) Being puzzled by what you do or say.
0 89. (3) Feeling very confused about who you really are.
0 57. (3) Your moods changing so rapidly that you don’t know what you are going to feel from one minute to the next.
0 146. (3) Your thoughts and feelings are so changeable that you don’t understand yourself.
0 210. (5) Feeling a struggle inside you about what to think, how to feel, what you should do.
Abandonment Scale: Mean: 0.0
0 29. (5) Nobody cares about you.
0 35. (5) Feeling empty and painfully alone.
0 54. (6) Being rejected by others.
0 111. (6) Desperately wanting to talk to someone about your pain or distress.
0 124. (7) Feeling hurt.
0 213. (5) Wishing that someone would finally realize how much you hurt.
Functionality/Impairment Scales
Critical Items Mean: 0.0
Dangerous Persecutory Voices:
0 84. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to hurt yourself.
0 159. (2) Hearing a voice in your head that wants you to die.
Toxic PTSD:
0 105. (1) Having traumatic flashbacks that make you want to inflict pain on yourself.
0 137. (1) Having traumatic flashbacks that make you want to die.
Fugues:
0 86. (1) After a nightmare, you wake up and find yourself not in bed (for example, on the floor, in the closet, etc.).
0 173. (1)
Suddenly finding yourself somewhere (for example, at the beach, at work, in a nightclub, in your car, etc.) with no memory of how you got there.
Dissociated Self-Injurous Behavior:
0 170. (2)
Discovering that you have a significant injury (for example, a cut, or a burn, or many bruises), and having no memory of how it happened.
0 204. (1)
There were times when you ‘came to’ and found pills or a razor blade (or something else to hurt yourself with) in your hand.
0 186. (1) Discovering that you have attempted suicide, but having no memory of having done it.
Manipulative Self-Injury:
0 75. (7) Hurting yourself so that someone would care or pay attention.
Cognitive Distraction Scale: Mean: 0.0
0 1. (9) While watching TV, you find that you are thinking about something else.
0 10 (8) Forgetting errands that you had planned to do.
0 33. (9) While reading, you find that you are thinking about something else.
0 65. (9) Being impulsive.
0 87. (8) Not being able to remember something, but feeling that it is “right on the tip of your tongue.”
0 88. (8) Making decisions too quickly.
0 100. (6) Listening to someone and realizing that you did not hear part of what he/she said.
0 109. (8) Forgetting where you put something.
0 110. (8) Having dreams that you don’t remember the next day.
0 121. (8) Daydreaming.
0 132. (6) Being unable to recall something---then, something “jogs” your memory and you remember it.
0 142. (10) Having to go back and correct mistakes that you made.
BPD Index: Mean: 0.0
0 11. (1)
Feeling that your mind or body has been taken over by a famous person (for example, Elvis Presley, Jesus Christ, Madonna, President Kennedy, etc.).
0 12. (3) Trying to make someone jealous.
0 21. (1)
Pretending that something upsetting happened to you so that others would care about you (for example, being raped, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, etc.).
0 38. (1)
Pretending that you have a physical illness in order to get sympathy (for example, flu, cancer, headache, having an operation, etc.).
0 47. (5) Talking to others about how you have been hurt or mistreated.
0 51. (5) Talking to others about very serious traumas that you have experienced.
0 52. (1) Your thoughts being broadcast so that other people can actually hear them.
0 54. (6) Being rejected by others.
0 63. (3)
Exaggerating the symptoms of a physical illness (that you genuinely have) in order to get sympathy or attention (for example, flu, cold, headache, fever, pain, etc.).
0 70. (2) Having to ‘stretch the truth’ to get your doctor’s (or therapist’s) concern or attention.
0 75. (7) Hurting yourself so that someone would care or pay attention.
0 128. (6) Telling others about your psychological disorder(s).
0 130. (2)
Exaggerating the symptoms of a psychological illness (that you genuinely have) in order to get sympathy or attention (for example, depression, bulimia, posttraumatic stress disorder, memory blackouts, being suicidal, etc.).
0 153. (1)
Having trance-like episodes during which you see yourself being taken into a spaceship and experimented on by aliens.
0 155. (3)
Exaggerating something bad that once happened to you (for example, rape, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mistreatment by our spouse, etc.) in order to get attention or sympathy.
0 175. (6) Being willing to do or say almost anything to get somebody to feel that you are ‘special.’
0 178. (4) Being pleased by the concern and sympathy of others when they hear about the traumas that you have suffered.
Manipulativeness Scale: Mean:
0.0 12. (3) Trying to make someone jealous.
0.0 21. (1)
Pretending that something upsetting happened to you so that others would care about you (for example, being raped, military combat, physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, etc.).
0.0 38. (1)
Pretending that you have a physical illness in order to get sympathy (for example, flu, cancer, headache, having an operation, etc.).
0.0 75. (7) Hurting yourself so that someone would care or pay attention.

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