Hey TAS, just hang in there, it's all we can really do most times. I am giving myself the same advice because the last week for me has really been a challenge. I just read a little qoute on facebook about people giving up just before the miracle happens or something in that regard. I was thinking I was going to try to bring that to mind this week in my life. Just keep trying and hope our efforts will be rewarded somehow.

Hi TAS... I just responded in your other thread too.

A few weeks ago I was in the depths of hell with regard to my work situation. I was crying all the time, contacting my T often, having panic attacks, nightmares and had resorted to taking Xanax to get me through my day in one piece. I felt as if I had my skin ripped off and I had no place to hide... well except with my T but he refused to let me move in with him

But I hung in there and leaned on him a lot. I allowed him to help me and to guide me and I took in all the strength and support from him that I was able to. I was such a mess that I held onto his belief that we would get through this even though I had no belief of my own.

And things are beginning to get the tiniest bit easier for me now. I still hate my job but I have been standing up for myself more, taking less crap and looking out for ME for a change. My T has been there all along, cheering me on and applauding me. It has been hell but the silver lining in all of this is that I have moved closer to my T and our relationship feels stronger and deeper. I trusted him and he came through for me. The fog is lifting enough for me to breathe easier and I'm not taking the Xanax to get me through the day now.

It's when things look and feel awful that we need to take in all and any support that is offered from friends, from the Board, from your T so that you can grow stronger and wiser.

Sending you hugs and good thoughts.
TN

Becca,
Thank you! I know that things will get better...it's just the 'getting' part that is a little rough T.

TrueNorth,

Thank you for taking time to reply. I think it is wonderful that your T. has allowed you to lean on him while you learn to 'walk' in some areas where you may still be a little wobbly in...I think it's great that you allow yourself to lean on him.

I can't bear the thought of needing anyone. I hate it. So, a part of me reaches forward while the rest of me protests and usually conquers the part of me that reaches her hand through the quicksand.

We all need support and acknowledging that when we want to do it all ourselves can be a very challenging thing.

I am glad you are doing better. I have missed seeing you on the boards T.

Sending you some big hugs and lots of support

((((((( TAS ))))))

LL

(((TAS)))
i'm sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless, i know the feeling...
and sometimes its nice just to hear someone tell us it will all be ok, even if we don't really believe it, but it gives us hope.
i am really sorry that i can't say that to you (because i am feeling pretty hopeless too...)

i'm sorry if the only positive thing i can tell you is that i hear you and that you deserve positive words and hope.

puppet