Hi cera,

I haven't had any experience with DBT, though my P recommended it at one stage to help with self-harming, but i got it under control on my own so didn't end up going. It seems to be really helpful from what people say though.

BPD is just a label. It doesn't make you who you are. You are still you, you have special qualities that make you special, and an individual. Don't feel lumped in with everyone else.

You aren't a problem for everyone, i promise. If you were such a problem no one would try to help...

LTF

Hi Cera,

Whew...I agree with Learning to Fly......BPD is just a label and often it is an incorrect label.

I had that label at one time. But it was then more correctly diagnosed as Complex PTSD. I had individualized trauma treatment (I had over 3 years of intensive therapy and made good progress), including group sessions that incorporated DBT. One big aspect of BPD/Complex PTSD is Attachment Injury and doing the healing work needed with attachment injury is pretty intense. The behavioural stuff associated with BPD is actually a pretty normal result of what you've lived through. It is not unusual.....but common and is NOT your fault.

DBT is a set of skills you learn usually in a group setting that you practice and use to help change the way you behave. DBT is definitely not the whole answer, but it can be beneficial. Marsha Linehan (the creator of DBT) sounded to me a bit demeaning in the way she talks and relates in her DVD's, but overall her stuff is ok. What helped me most was developing a good trusting relationship with a trained therapist. It was hard to trust my T for the first year and I always thought everything was my fault. It didn't matter what it was, it had to be my fault...whew. When I started to realize that not every single thing could be my fault, but that was a way of thinking I'd developed as a little kid....I started to get really mad. Kicking ass mad.

For me, the key to getting better was working with an experienced therapist who was attuned to what I was going through and could support me emotionally and teach me. AND THAT was a lot to ask of anyone! I was a real mess. I could not control my emotions at all. I needed an external affect regulator..someone on the outside of me to help me get back my emotional stability after every little upset, trigger, thought or memory. I gradually learned how to do it for myself with a ton of help from my T....I probably had to phone and email her a combined...like 500 times. That ability to regulate my own emotional state was something I hadn't learned growing up....hence, the BPD diagnosis.

If you develop or already have a good relationship with a therapist I hope you will be able to experience the emotional connectedness and safety (and healing) that was missing or somehow wrong growing up. Read all you can on this website. Shrinklady is right on with her info......

I wish you all the best. Please post more and let us know how you're doing.

Karie

DBT is not only group but also individual therapy. If you you put much weight in research it has been prove to be the most effective therapy for BPD. That being said...it doesn't mean it will be right for you. You need to do what works. There are parts of DBT which I love and others I could do without. It does, however, provide a good base of learning your emotions and how to not let them rule your life. I would also say that BPD is a label that gets thrown around alot. Do not let yourself become the label.