I met with my T and another T at the same time in consultation regarding my sense that my T was not helpful and my constantly berating her about how unhelpful she was.
The T we saw in consultation said that it seemed like I wanted someone to help me with self regulation and that since she was not helping with that I felt that she was letting me down. I already knew that much. What he said that was interesting is that it sounded like I was longing for the presence of a man and that masculinity and a level of activity in session may be more helpful. My T is not active, she is kind of passive.
We did not reach a decision. Now my T seems more open to my leaving. I think mostly because she can see how insistent I am that she isn't helpful.
I'm really not sure what to do. I feel like I am drowning with this T and I really have no way of knowing if a male T will make a difference. I have had more T's than I have socks in my dresser drawer.