Were you able to see that he saw the email? I am guessing that he did see it and this is why you're getting upset right now. I don't know how much I can offer here but I know how you feel. I really do.

I am trying to think of things you can do right now.... Could you email him and say something like "I know it's independence day but I was wondering if I could hear from you anyway." But then that sort of sets up more pain if he doesn't respond.... How you would feel about phoning him?

This is so hard. Just know that I and many others here will support you. I sent my T an email about all the pain I am in and she wrote back and changed our appointment time but said nothing about the pain I wrote about. It hurts. I am trying to tell myself that it's because it is a holiday and she didn't have time to respond. Still hurts though

Hi
I dont live in the USA , but happy holiday to you . Yes that is what hurts little bit.

Hi anna.

I'm sorry you're feeling the hurt of waiting for a T reply. I think Turtle's advice is good. Also, it seems Ts don't always think it's necessary to reply as soon as they've seen/heard a message, unless they explicitly agreed to do so... So it could be that your T will respond, but not as quickly as you wish

Sorry again for the hurt you're feeling.

RabbitEars

Should I resend the check inn e-mail tomorrow , if there is no reply yet. He said he would reply . I am just thinking If I should wait few days, or did he forget to reply ?

Hi anna. Maybe you could decide this by considering your level of anxiety/panic? You could choose to resend tomorrow or give him a day or two to respond--whichever feels better for you. I don't think you can make a "wrong" choice in this situation. It depends more on your comfort level, I think. Do you feel safe waiting a bit, or is your anxiety/panic getting worse?

RabbitEars

My anxiety/panic getting is getting so Worse , I feel like I cant cope ,i am getting so much anxiety my Stomach is not right . I feel Like I cant go to work tomorrow, Just so stressed out..

anna, I wonder why I thought I saw something about the holidays in your post. (Slaps forehead) Where do you live Anna?


I am so sorry you're panicking. Can you do something to calm yourself, like take a shower or splash some water on your face? Take some deep breaths? I am sure your T cares about you. My T told me that sometimes she sees the message and has to reply later because something else came up before she could reply.

quote:

I wonder why I thought I saw something about the holidays in your post. (Slaps forehead) Where do you live Anna?

Next week he is off to holidays . I live in northern europe, The T said I could check in and he would try to reply .. He is does not usually allow this but is letting me try this contact ..

Sorry I had to do some chores for a bit and didn't see your post, Anna. How are you doing now?

I don't know too many self-calming or self-soothing techniques, but do you have something that normally works for when you're feeling panicky? Or is it unusual for you to feel such anxiety?

I can understand your dilemma, since he does not normally allow the contact, you want to be sure to do it "right". Is this your first check-in?

RabbitEars

((RabbitEars)

Yes it’s my first time check in, or this kind of contact with T, he is new in this too .I have sometimes e-mail him between sessions, and he does usually reply straight away, depends on mail.
I want to respect his privacy try to put me in his shoes and so on, I try just to wait usually for next session but now I am confused... Have you tried this...? Has it happen to someone the T forgets to reply?

Heh, yes, Anna, my T has forgotten me via voicemail and even in person (scheduling mix-up) But I should add that I've seen her for many years, so considering the long period of time she has worked with me, her reliability is actually very good. But the times when T forgets--soooooo painful!

I'm the kind of person who will wait and wait and wait forever for an answer (i.e., "I have left a message and must not/will not leave another one!"). That has sometimes backfired on me, because if I wait too long and T really has forgotten, then I am getting more and more upset and T has no idea! So now I will call or email again if I haven't heard back within a few days. It's a compromise.

For me, part of the waiting has to do with not wanting to appear too "needy" and also not wanting to bother T (irritate her). Also, I myself don't like to get multiple messages, even from friends, if I haven't replied yet (this does not apply to PMs here on the forum ). It feels like too much pressure sometimes. So, like you, I feel like it is respecting T to wait for an answer...

BUT, you did have an agreement with your T, and you are needing to hear back from him before his holidays! It's a tough spot to be in, Anna. As I said before, I don't think you can make a "wrong" decision. If he usually replies right away, then you could try to relax and trust that he will respond... OR you could decide that the delay means he has forgotten (because he didn't reply right away) and just send him a quick message to confirm whether the first message came through.

Hi,
I think it would be ok to resend the e-mail if he said he would reply. He may have read several messages at once and meant to return to those that needed replies.
I think T would not want you to be gettiing anxious about it, he may not have realised how important it was to you.

Hello all.
Thanks for your answers , so I did not call him or resend him the mail last week, I did send another check in yesterday like I did tell him I would on Wednesdays I did send it in the lunch time here , he had not replied today in lunch time , so I did resend that mail and did write on the top that ,-- That I hope his mail was not broken or that he was not angry at me, I wish he would let me know if he did see it, I did however know that he would not be able to reply to all my check ins , and I would next check in after 2 weeks , that it was our understanding he would reply if he could..
I was thinking to call him this morning but did not .. I am still little bit hurt …
Greetings

Sorry, Anna. I can understand why you feel hurt. After all, tt only takes a minute to reply to an email, although I suppose for Ts they have to be careful how they phrase things, no matter how brief their reply is... I don't know, but I know how bad it feels to get silence from T.

(((anna))))

Its so strange , how can a T be understanding and compassion in session , and then what does he forget me now... I am getting really hurt ...

Hi all .

He did reply from his mobile . I am feeling better somewhat , I told him in the e-mail I sent him I would check in after 2 weeks.. I hope he is not angry to me to resend the e-mail today