((((A))))

That sounds like a really tough spot to be in. I think he does care. I think sending the email was about letting you know that. Those Ts have to be careful about what they say. It sounds like new T is the one to stick with even though Old T has the sliding scale. Have u asked new T if he has a sliding scale? Is there any other way you can think of to pay for the sessions or cut them in half for the time being?

Hang in there.

Hi A,

It sounds painful and confusing what you're going through.

I think Ts often do care a lot about their clients leaving or taking a break but are bound by ethical rules to respect their client's decisions. A T needs to be really careful not to make things about their own needs, rather than the client's. So, for example, if a T emails to say they are sad that the client is leaving, then they have to be really careful that is not construed as the T wanting the client to come back to comfort them.

Your T will not have known what your expectations were when you said you needed a break. Were you hoping he would ask you to come in and discuss your concerns? Or just that he would express more regret at your time together ending for a while?

It feels as if you are a bit torn? That you would have liked to be able to work things out with current T, even though things have been difficult?

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Thank for your words...I am struggling with this and maybe should have just told current T how I felt, for awhile it seemed as if he wanted to get rid of me. Liese my new T does have a sliding scale and has offered me the same time. He has been very patient.

Maybe I saw this new year as an opportunity to break it to current T. Even though he does have good insight, some of our beliefs differ. And can't continue with both. My new T allows me where I am at. He doesn't expect me to just get over things. Someday maybe I can find the words to tell him how I came to him. I am kind of afraid hed tell me off. But maybe hed understand? Thank you Mallard. Thank you guys for getting me.

((A)) It really does sound like a very uncomfortable situation to be in, and I'm sorry you are going through this. Its not fun when you feel that your T is frustrated, and there is not a good connection. I dealt with some of the same things, and felt my T was rushing me, felt he was impatient, didn't care, was frustrated, and just did not understand at times because of the things he would say or how he would say it. So I would just take off and not come back to Therapy for 4 or 5 weeks at a time without discussing it with him, and I felt like you did, I really needed to know he cared, but "HE SHOWED NOTHING"! I did this several times, and his response was telling me that its no big deal, I thought you were only gone for 2 weeks, and you've come to Therapy pretty consistent before, so its ok. My T never made "ANY ATTEMPT" to acknowledge that he even cared. He made it clear to me when he didn't even realize how long I was gone. So I do understand how much it hurts you. I just think some T's care more and aren't afraid to show it, and others stick by the rulebook, and purposely shut themselves off to us when needed,even when they do care. It really sounds like your new T is really good, and I sure hope you can find out if there is a sliding scale. Let us know, because we care about you.

Eme.. thank you...He does have a sliding fee scale. I think I will stick with him., I knew I would. It wont be easy to tell my current T, I'm sure he will be p off. Its why at first I took a break. Might just keep it at that. I'm not sure I can take his word s right now.

Girls,

Thank you for your replies. How do you think I should tell new T how I came to see him? Do I tell him? I mean he does know about former bad T but not this one. I'm afraid he'll be upset, I mean I have only been slightly dishonest a handful of times, I know I got myself in an impossible situation. Anyone been through this transition?