I am relatively new here and have only posted one other message. Last week I met with my P. I usually see him every other week. I called him on our "off" week and requested that he schedule me for an appt on our next "off" week. I felt like I needed an additional appt to talk more about the transference issue.
I went in for our "regular" appt, and at the end of the appt he questioned whether or not I really needed this extra appt that I had requested. He asked whether I could afford it. He wanted to know if this was about the transference or did I have other things that needed to be addressed. He wanted to also wanted to know if I needed his support. I told him I always need support. I also told him that if I didn't think I could afford it I wouldn't have asked for the appointment. Then he asked again if I really wanted to keep the extra appt. I told him yes, said goodbye and left.
I was left with a whole mix of feelings about the exchange. I called him and left him a message that I was *p* off and felt that he went back on his word when he told me several weeks ago that I could see him as needed--this was after i told him my fear of him abandoning me in light of my transference. He called back and we talked briefly about the exchange, told me that he was there for me. He said we need to explore what happened next week.
I've been journaling my feelings on a regular basis since that appointment so that i'm sure he "gets" how this exchange affected me. Any input from any of you who have so much wisdom and experience with this transference stuff??
Thanks for listening to my long post.