I've told my T that I post on a forum. I've even read her some of the stuff I've written. I did tell her though that I wouldn't tell her what site this was because she would be able to recognize me immediately. She knows that I research just about anything that she and I talk about, and sometimes she is concerned that I will get conflicting information. I did tell her that everyone on this forum is positive and supportive of each other and she seemed happy that I have a place to talk about things.

I think that the fact that we post anonymously here, helps us honestly get things off our chests. We have become friends and care very much for each other, and I think it would be much more difficult to bear our all to each other if we were physical friends. If I knew my T was reading this, I would be more intimidated. Not that I want to keep secrets from her, but I want to tell her things on my terms and not online.

PL

funny you should say that sd, i've been wondering about that too. i think i would mind! i mean i won't poke into his private life and he can bloody well stay out of mine! if that makes sense (boundaries??? are we allowed those too???)

I told mine about this site and i worry that shes figured out who i am on here and is not joining but is reading what i say without becoming a member.

I've definitely talked to my T about the forum, describing what its for and the kind of people posting (wonderful people!) but I have gone NOWHERE near the name of it. My T would recognize me in a couple posts (might not even take that long.) I've worried about it but then I've realized that I have pretty much told him everything I've posted on here. BUT and this is a big but, this is a place for me to come and be able to speak freely about what's going on, especially as it deals with him and if I thought he was reading it would really hamper my ability to just let it rip. Sometimes posting here is an important way to process something BEFORE I talk to him about it. So I don't mind if he's reading, I just don't want to know about it. OK, so my T, if you're out there, keep it to yourself!

And of course you're entitled to boundaries, everyone is. It is your decision what information you want to share, and how and when you wish to share it. And that definitely includes your T.

And let's face it, most of what everyone here is always saying is "tell your T" Hey, we need another T shirt!

AG

I told my son's T about this site, in fact I sent her the link when I was first researching transference because what everyone was posting was so similar to what I was feeling. That was before I started posting. She came and read a little but I doubt she ever came back. I actually kind of wish she had kept reading when I started posting, then she would have a better idea of what I was actually going through. I have a feeling, though, that thinking she was reading would influence some of my posts, and I would worry non-stop about whether she was reading and what she was thinking about me.

With my new T it's different. I trust her but I don't seem to have as much of an attachment to her as I did my son's T. I guess what I'm saying is our roles are very clear to me and I'm fine with them. I told her I come to an online forum but did not give her the name. Not that I wouldn't if she asked... I give her my journal every week with many more private thoughts than I post here, and I don't find myself holding back there. I don't think that her reading here would change that.

I can understand NOT wanting your T to read here. Everyone has their own boundaries and has every right to them.

OW

I can understand not wanting your T to read, too, but this _is_ a public forum. Ts can come here and read like anybody, as folks have said. I don't tell my Ts what the site is, but if they're here, they're here like everybody else. Hey, they've got their stuff too, right?

And you know Wynne, I really think a lot of Ts could benefit from reading here. I think it would provide a lot of insight into what therapy looks like from the patient's point of view. There are things a T can't ask their own patient because of boundaries that I think they could get insight into by reading here.

I just don't want to know about it and I want it to be somebody else's T.

quote:

I just don't want to know about it and I want it to be somebody else's T.

AG

I'm with you there!

PL

quote:

Originally posted by puppy lover:

quote:

I just don't want to know about it and I want it to be somebody else's T.

AG

I'm with you there!

PL

Me x3, too.

quote:

Hey, they've got their stuff too, right?

wynne, what a scandalaous notion

well. after piping up in session today i think i'm expression a bit protectiveness about 'my' spaces (sorry. i know it's silly as it's not really mine to begin with anyway, but there you go). never had any to speak of. i mean, my mum would follow me to the bathroom, have a pee whilst i have a bath or the other way round and worse. i do get you on paper, but.... KEEP OFF MY PATCH is what it feels like at the moment.

god does that sound dumb sorry....

Songbird,
The last thing that sounded was dumb!! I grew up with no boundaries too and that's why MY SPACE, my feelings, my voice, my info are all really important to me. Its very important that we know where we end and other people begin, we are much more healthy for it. And when you don't have that it can cause a lot of damage. Of course you'd feel protective about that. Don't make me get out the HTML slapper, you're new here and I'd hate to use it so soon!

AG

i think i have to rename myself weeping willow... AG, thanks!!!! .... is there a big hug/kiss icon somewhere? it's such an ENORMOUS experience to hear my feelings are ok, even if the expression of them is far from smooth...

i think i'm about 5 years old today... (today????????) i'm even having pigtails!

I always forget that T have there own problems and stuff.
My T sees a T and thinks all T's should.

Songbird don't feel bad or dumb. These are complicated feelings and trying to make sense of it all can be really hard.

What color ribbons for your hair??

quote:

And of course you're entitled to boundaries, everyone is. It is your decision what information you want to share, and how and when you wish to share it. And that definitely includes your T.
AG

AG

I find this a compelling thought. It seems like we are always being schooled on setting boundaries and that they are a "good" thing and a "good" skill to have. And yet...when I set some boundaries with my T. It is then labeled resistance. I'm trying to figure this out.
She can have boundaries...but I cannot? What is up with that? I often feel as if I have no power in my relationship to my T. The only power I do have is in what I choose to share with her. Or...the ultimate power of the execution boundary. The power of goodbye.
When this comes up for me...I wonder if that is when the power structure of the therapy should be altered a bit. I know when I am being resistant, stubborn. Sometimes I'm not sure why...maybe resistance is not always a "bad" thing but a way for us to practice setting boundaries? I dunno...just a thought.

Soulfuldaze:
I never told my T about this site. He looks/researches stuff on the internet though, i know that. I would never tell him because he would recognize me. But in a way, i wish he could read these posts. i say stuff in here i would never tell him, but he probably really needs to know!!

I completely agree. I did tell my T about this forum on Monday and I only discovered it on Saturday. I've already posted things I would not talk about to her with such ease. I told her what I like about this site is how people express themselves so honestly and with such heart. And the support given here is amazing and so soothing. But, in saying that, I still would not want her to know my feelings via a forum. I would rather be direct. And I like my space, too.

Thanks for the input...

For me...I have decided to keep this forum for me and not share it with my T. (I need a place to gripe about what is not working for me and a place to bounce ideas off all of you and discover what I actually need to talk to her about.)

I think my T could certainly benefit from reading the forum but doubt that she would take the time to do so. (she doesn't do email...even though I have encouraged her.)
I live in a cell phone dead spot and sometimes contact is difficult without having to get into my car and drive around until I find an adequate signal. Email would be much easier for me but she seems to think she will not be able to "read" me via email. I disagree. She does like voice mail and has often commented that my messages, post session, have been quite helpful for her to understand what I am thinking.

I haven't let her read my blog yet either (it is still in the development stage so not worth reading yet.) Typing is much more "stream of consciousness" for me and I get much more out in less time so a blog is good. I'll post a link if it becomes something that any of you might be interested in.
I do let her read my journal when I take the time to write in it. It is left mostly for the alters...sometimes I don't even look at it. LOL...makes me wonder why I lug it around.

So...it appears that we are all of similar minds about sharing this forum. I still have no objections to any therapist that would like to read these posts. I have just decided that I want my own place to *itch and moan without undue editing, or trying to guess what she may be thinking about my posts.
If she happens to stumble into this forum...I'm pretty sure she will know who I am right away (which makes me wonder if I should delete the pic of my dog...hmmmm) Naw....I can't be that paranoid. If she's here and wants to read...then good for her! I hope she will find it a valuable resource and give her some new insight on how she can best meet the needs of her clients and/or client.

Thank you all for your participation in my question...keep it going. And for any therapist's out there reading [please no impostors we don't need the confusion, and we will know!]...help us out here...don't just lurk and read...register and post your comments. I'm sure we could all benefit from your thoughts about forums like this.

SD

I just wanted to reply to this post. I'm a therapist-in-training and have recently found this site. It seems like an amazing community with intelligent and thoughtful people! I have certainly learned from reading your posts; it has been enlightening. I'm also in therapy myself (for 1.5 years) so I can relate to a lot of issues being raised. Just wanted to share with you that a therapist-in-training (not yours ) is reading and learning!

Hi Erica,
Welcome to the forums. Thanks for introducing yourself, I'm very glad to hear that a therapist-in-training is reading here to get the client's perspective, as well as doing your own therapy. I think a therapist knowing what it's like on both sides of the couch is a good thing. There are some other members who are presently studying psych or are also in training so you're not completely on your own. Looking forward to getting to know you.

AG

I SO agree with this, AG!

quote:

Sometimes posting here is an important way to process something BEFORE I talk to him about it. So I don't mind if he's reading, I just don't want to know about it.

One of the biggest blessings of sharing here has been exactly that - being able to feel less shame, for example, or to not feel like an anomaly, can give us the courage we need to broach things with our T that we wouldn't otherwise. And for me personally, this site has really filled in some blanks that my T hasn't been comfortable discussing! (like ET , ha!)

I've told my T about this site, but I'm quite sure he wouldn't come here. He seemed leery when I told him (briefly) about it. That being said, I think he would find it interesting, certain threads more than others, and yes, he would certainly know who I was very readily. (besides by my open posts, my username, - we've talked about how much I love sleeping under the open sky, and how much I love the stars. I even have a constellation "dedicated" to him in my mind, and when I see it, I am reminded of him and his steadiness in my life.)

Well I digressed there a bit, but you get the idea!


Starry

Erica!

I am also a T in training. I just started school a few weeks ago, so I'm a newbie. I've been a client for 2 years in my own personal therapy.

As for my T reading this forum or knowing that I post here...I have no idea if she reads this. I haven't told her about this forum specifically. I did say something about reading on a message board, but didn't say which one.

Thanks for the welcome!

When I first happened on this forum (I think I was googling something to do with therapy - duh - and a post from this forum came up), I was a little leery of it. But as I read more, I started to realize that you all know your stuff! Not just are you really supportive of each other, you (as a group) seem to know so much about the therapeutic process, including correctly explaining and identifying important psychological concepts. It really amazed me to read about how insightful and knowledgeable the discussions are. I agree with so much of what's being said...and it's fun for me to think about myself as a therapist and also as a client and how I relate to the discussions in my different roles.

This forum has also helped me to be a little more open with my therapist. I have a hard time opening up to her and after reading about how so many of you are so freaking brave, I was a little more daring in my last session. It's crazy how I can know so much about psychology (ugh, going on 8 years of school, not consecutive though!) but still struggle in my own therapy and with my own insecurities and past experiences. Anyway, I'm probably rambling and I think I'm hijacking this thread! So I'll stop now

Hi Erica-
This forum has helped me open up a bit more to my therapist as well. I tend to have a hard time being open with T too. The supportive and knowledgeable people here are awesome!


Ok...off to do my verbatim transcription of my 2nd session with my client. Boy, that's a pain in the a$$!

Erica and Athenacus - I'm so jealous! I only completed my BA in psych before starting a family, but I may go back one day! I love the subject so much!!

Been thinking about my beloved T reading here. I said earlier that he knows I come here and that I really don't think he would take the time to check it out, but yeesh, not sure I like that kind of gamble!
Under the cloak of anonymity, I say more here than I do to him, particularly in certain threads. Just not ready for certain things to come out ye, I guess.
That being said, I reeeaaallly don't want to go back through all my posts and start editing!!


Starry