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Do you have P.A.D.??

blackbirdblackbirdMember
I'm in a bad place and in order to get out of it I need to do at least something positive, so... I've been wanting to do this for awhile. Here goes.

There is a new diagnoses in the DSM whatevery-thingy! It's called P.A.D., or "Posting Anxiety Disorder." Big Grin


I'm dedicating this thread to all of you out there who would like to be part of our community, or who are a part of our community but are currently having difficulty posting or even having difficulty *not* posting! (N.P.A.D.) I think that honest communication about our feelings tends to make everyone on the board feel a little bit safer and a little bit less alone with their stuff. So I thought it would be nice to have a thread where we can actually post about our difficulties posting!

Do you:

1.Feel guilty posting "too much" about your own stuff?
2. Feel guilty posting too little about your own stuff?
3.Feel guilty posting *anything* about yourself on other people's threads?
4.Feel guilty posting at all, unless you are able to be perfectly compassionate and selfless in every possible way?
5.Worry excessively when posting that you will trigger others?
6. Worry that others will hate you for the way you come across?
7. Worry excessively about hurting other's feelings when you post?
8.Have difficulty pressing "post reply" button?
9. Excessively edit or spend time when not posting worrying about editing or deleting posts?
10. Worry excessively about not having responded to enough posts, or every post, even when you have nothing you are able to offer due to your own triggers/place you are in/issues with the subject matter?
11. Worry about leaving people out?
12. Worry about people feeling rejected if you need to stop posting for awhile or even permanently?
13. Worry that your issues aren't "important" enough and that you are "just being babyish..." by posting about them?

Any other symptoms people can think of...please add them to the list below! There are many, many, symptoms and subtle variations to P.A.D...

If you are experiencing at least 3 of the above symtoms, then it is likely that you are a sufferer of P.A.D.! Big Grin The cure?

Post, by golly, (or for those with N.P.A.D, don't post unless you want to and feel safe enough to do so) and share all your feelings and worries about your posting in your posts- and then feel the loving compassion and understanding of everyone else on this board!

Love,

BB
Last edited {1}
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J janedoeMember
YES to so many of those.

and

fear that you make no sense and just take up space or throw people off what would have been helpful? worry that you step on toes and have no clue about it? worry that th poor speeling and tpying is too conffusing to folow or makees me look stpid? fear that posting anyhow to try and chill your fears is foolish? feel alone in these fears?

YES.

quote:
The cure?

Post, by golly, and share all your feelings and worries about your posting in your posts- and then feel the loving compassion and understanding of everyone else on this board!


beautifully said!!! really made me smile. Big Grin good to be reminded I'm not alone in this either but that I'm in good company. The best kind. Big Grin

~jd
(... or in my more lysdexic, um, I mean dyslexic, or just plain mixed up moments, ~ doejane Big Grin )
scaredtoriskmyselfscaredtoriskmyselfCo-moderator
Funny thread BB!

Yes, I have P.A.D. It is in an acute phase right now. Mine consists of the following:

1) Feel guilty about posting much right now because I can't seem to find many words to reply.

2) Feel like I will trigger others if I post about my relationship with T and how she helps me.

3) Feel like I don't deserve to post about my therapy because I don't currently have any problems with my T. We get along beautifully and I feel like that isn't okay here sometimes.

4) Afraid to post if something does go wrong with my T for fear of hearing or sensing, "told you so" or "ha ha, now you know what it's like". (I know this is my inner critic and nobody here would ever say these things).

5) Feel like if I do post about my T that I should leave out many details about how we do therapy because it feels quite unpopular around here to have a T that uses touch.

So, there it is. Unedited.

Having said that, I do love this board and everyone here. I'm just struggling a bit right now.
J janedoeMember
YAY STRM!!!! Glad you posted, UNEDITED even. Big Grin Oh, I should try that sometime! I aways edit, way too much...

btw, I love your posts. I can so relate to not wanting to trigger others about not just bad experinces, but with good ones too! I have been hesitating about posting about a good experience lately. I know, intellectually, that is just as welcome here as the bad and hard experiences. When I am struggling, it is sometimes true that reading about good experiences can be sorta triggering - or more like stirring of the deep longing for the good. But just like with the bad, we all need to pick and choose what we take in. Even more so, hearing of the good helps me get through the bad. Plus, it helps me process through my own good experiences so much! Big Grin It also just makes me feel happy for others, and somehow, that helps me - just how it is for me. Just wanted to be a voice to say that I like hearing of the good, it helps, and even if it didn't, it is always welcome. Life, therapy experiences included, is full of both.

speaking of editting... I am editing this to add: I like hearing about different T experiences than my own because it helps remind me there are many ways to heal. Plus I think our Ts do some stuff in common and it's helped so much to know my T isn't the only one.

ANYHOW... I'll stop adding and editing now. Smiler
Hope the battle with "P.A.D." gets easier for both of us.

~ dj Wink
D daisyMember
Love this thread as I can really relate. I'm here most days yet I don't post that often because I feel bad for starting posts because my problems are not that bad compared to others, I feel I shouldn't be starting threads when I don't really respond to others (I just don't feel I have anything worth adding) and when I do start a thread and others reply I often don't respond back (I really do appreciate all your responses but sometimes words just fail me with the reply).

Daisy
macmacMember
I can really relate to these:

From BB’s first post:
quote:
5.Worry excessively when posting that you will trigger others

And from STRM:
quote:
2) Feel like I will trigger others if I post about my relationship with T and how she helps me.
3) Feel like I don't deserve to post about my therapy because I don't currently have any problems with my T. We get along beautifully and I feel like that isn't okay here sometimes.
5) Feel like if I do post about my T that I should leave out many details about how we do therapy because it feels quite unpopular around here to have a T that uses touch.


My T doesn’t use touch, but he does have some beliefs that are unpopular on the forum, so I don’t feel like they are okay to talk about. I also feel like it’s not okay to post good stuff about my T here sometimes. Or just that it's not as accepted maybe, I dont know.

Good thread, BB!

STRM: I know I quoted you a lot and I can totally delete your parts if or when you want!

Mac
blackbirdblackbirdMember
I'm here, I'm here! We can howl together...awoooo!

I forgot to tell STRMS that I loved her candid reply and it helped me a lot!

Monte, on the topic of touch- I'm gonna be really honest. It is NOT a taboo topic, but a necessary and enlightening one. I personally find it really triggery when I choose to read about it simply because of my situation in therapy, where I am deprived of all physical contact, even the simple act of being in the room with my T or being able to look him in the eye. But- and I really, really, really mean this! It is NOT a taboo topic! It is a necessary and enlightening topic, and should be discussed in detail, without so much as a trigger warning, because, otherwise we will all feel afraid to post about our own non-triggering stuff without putting a trigger warning. I'm , reallyreallyreally sorry, because I think I once made a comment on the OF about being triggered by touch and it seems like it might have been a bad idea to say that. I'm responsible for my triggers, and need to stop telling others about them because it stifles conversation. My bad. (Please forgive? Smiler ) There is a really important lesson here, I think. It is learning to "own our own stuff" and let others have the responsibility to take care of themselves. any other way gets too complicated and then people run, which is inevitable, but- We can all really use this place to practice boundaries, and maximize our therapy! this is a good thing. (BB is strangely ebullient tonight considering that she has probably just screwed her own therapy and sent it down the drain. I have no idea what that is all about. Severe highs and lows are happening in my house, and my kids and h are definitely treating me like: "be nice to the strange lady, now...back away from the strange lady..ok..." )

anyway...

Smiler
yakusokuyakusokuMember
Even though I long for touch and wish my T would at least volunteer his position on closeness and touch, so I wouldn't have to ask for it...I still feel so blessed to hear about others' positive experiences. So, even if I get a bit jealous Wink it still makes me very happy when anyone's T makes them feel "held," whether it is actual physical holding or just emotional containment. Smiler

I worry pretty consistently that when my name shows up on all the most recent posts, people are, "Ugh, go away and stop taking over our forum!!!" I don't know if that counts as PAD. I still can't help myself and keep posting, though. Just like my texting issues.
blackbirdblackbirdMember
quote:
There is no way to get around triggering people... like you I always try to tread lightly when I post or when I read... knowing that I may have reactions and others may have reactions.


yup. this. but we can't possibly avoid no matter how lightly we tread, triggering eachother. It's gonna happen when you get this many wounded people all trying to talk to eachother about their *therapy* for heaven's sake- in one place.

Monte- you definitely exist. ***poke*** see? Big Grin
J janedoeMember
this thread just makes me smile. You all make me smile. So good to know I'm not alone in my battle against P.A.D.!


df ~ yeah, I understand about the hesitation about posting talking about touch. It's hard to sort out. btw, I have been wondering about somatic experiencing therapy... glad to hear it was a good experience for you! (and now I feel a little less weird for thinking about doing a simillar kind of therapy and wanting to post about it and feeling hesitant to post about it too.)

frosty ~ good morning! or afternoon! or um... good day! Big Grin (that should cover it, right? Smiler )

~~~~
it is the middle of the night where I am - ack! sleep... I need sleep... (hard to sleep with all this howling on this thread! Wink )

so glad for you all,
~jane

p.s. I will not edit...I will not edit......edited. I can't stop! ack! Razzer Roll Eyes Big Grin
room2growroom2growCo-moderator
So DF, what's been happening lately? I don't generally pay attention to the words people use, unless they are words I use, and I tend to use "so" a lot myself! Anyways....

I love reading all the language quirks - the colour, favourite, and so on. They're fun! And I'm a terrible speller, and a terrific transposer, but whatever.

This post has been fun to catch up on. Thanks all, for once again starting my morning with a giggle!
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