I do a mixture of both.

some sessions I have brought a typed thing, maybe a memory or something I am too embarrassed to say aloud and he reads it.
Some sessions I bring in a list of things I want to talk about and hand it to him and we try to go through it.
Some sessions I just appear and see what happens. Sometimes I regret that and other times I have the deepest of sessions by not knowing what will happen and just letting something or nothing happen.

i usually have a theme in my head for a session but we do not necessarily get to it. Last session I wanted to ask him if he thought about me outside sessions and it took me half way in before I could ask. I had planned all week to give him some written stuff about something that I would find mortifying to say, but I think he needs to know about. I have brought it to at least two sessions now but not felt able to hand it over or even let him know it is in my bag.

This Friday I intend to hand over the written stuff. Don't know if I will though.

Interestingly he always tell me to take things more slowly and there is not harm in not tackling stuff, and just letting it be for a while longer. He never EVER tries to rush me. Nope. He just goes slow and steady.

Sometimes I do plan on what I want to talk about in my head. I even picture how it's going to go with me crying all over T and what not But truthfully it's only gone the way I want it to go about 2 times. Its a good thing though cos usually T has this crazy 6th sense and can tell what buttons to push to open me up and the vast majority of the time it goes way better than what I pictured even if I don't necessarily get to talk about what I had planned. I think it works for some people to plan ahead but for me, it's way better to just go with how I'm feeling at that moment and because it usually tends to go with how I had been feeling if I had a rough week in between sessions. Do whatever works for you

Thanks Sadly and Jenny!

I've also found that we have gotten into some deep material when I haven't planned much for a session, or have deviated from the plan. Once I had planned to talk about one thing but didn't get to that because I was overcome with feelings of self-loathing and being undeserving of therapy while I was waiting. That ended up being a really good discussion. Often we'll spend more time than expected on something, or the discussion will go in another direction. I like being open to that. However, I have also found writing to be very useful because I can articulate so much more than I can verbally. I guess a combination of both is what works best for me.

Good luck with sharing what you have written with him on Friday, Sadly.

Jenny- I have definitely imagined scenarios where I have cried in front of T but have not yet been able to!

I think I am still in containment and emotional regulation stage - after 6 months (gosh, is it really 6 months!!!) of seeing T. We have never talked about the past or done trauma work - it is usually containing me after my difficult weeks and discussing what has come up. Some times we attempt at mindfulness, imagery stuff, inner parts/states work etc. I would have written a few emails to T during the week unloading about what has happened and usually giving her inner thoughts or specifying the triggers and she will work out what is urgent to tackle. I will also have a list of general things - usually from those emails. T also has her own things she asks (some of which I don't like) so I tend to forget those, but she checks in on me. I now do 90 minute sessions and I have more time to talk in detail about things and about more things.

We always talk about attachment in some way - either ours or mine with other people. Always trying to upskill me in coping and emotional regulation. She is always reminding me about my skills, about mindfulness, about body awareness and feelings and challenging my thinking.

I plan, sure but rarely... if ever does it go according to plan

Sometimes I'll imagine things I want to talk about, or write them down, or bring things to share... sometimes we get to them. We plan ahead if we're going to do certain things (art or something) but plans can always be changed. My Ts are very flexible. If we actually go to do what I planned every session I'd be healed by now but very often I'm not able to tolerate in session the things I wish I could do. IT's been slow. My Ts both know I REALLY like plans and I think they purposefully try to avoid making them sometimes.

Every time I've attempted to plan a session, it never goes that way.... So I stopped trying.

I used to obsess on my drive out (it takes about 45 min to get to my T's office) about how to answer the dreaded "So, what do you want to talk about today?" question...Thinking that'd I'd be wasting my T's time if I showed up without an answer.

So...I stopped planning things to talk about, and stopped obsessing over how to answer the question... And things stopped being so stressful.

I actually couldn't tell you if she stopped asking me that question or not... I think generally I just sit down and things go naturally from there - Sometimes I have something on my mind, sometimes she has something on her clipboard...Sometimes we've mutually agreed to work on something...And sometimes - though very very rarely - Things work out as one of us thought they would.

The rest of the time...it just kindof 'is'....And I'm ok with that.

(took me a while though)

Yep - I write in my journal all week, and plan what I need to talk about, or try to figure out ways to get T to go where I think I need or want her to go, and even rehearse sessions in my mind.....but they never go the way I plan - LOL!

f

quote:

Originally posted by NavyMe:
I used to obsess on my drive out (it takes about 45 min to get to my T's office) about how to answer the dreaded "So, what do you want to talk about today?" question...Thinking that'd I'd be wasting my T's time if I showed up without an answer.

Oh yes, I hate that question! It makes me so nervous. I feel like I always have the have the right answer even though there isn't one.
I'm glad that you've found not planning to be a lot less stressful. I hope I can get there!

Thanks to everyone who answered. Seems therapy is really something that can't be planned--and that's probably a good thing.

Hi all.

I journal, when I need to, whenever I need to, but not to prepare for a therapy session (which I have M & W).

Then when I get to therapy, I usually have 10 minutes to look over my journal and see where my thoughts were, what happened during that time, and then I at least know where to start.

When I am depressed or highly anxious, that doesn't work. Now that I'm on meds again, it is so much easier to talk. I barely sit in silence, now.

Sometimes my T starts with, "What do you want to talk about?", sometimes, "How are things?", sometimes, "So, did ______ happen?", or "How did your _____ go?" (like if I have a doc appt and she remembers to ask from last session).

I really like M & W sessions now, because I have 5 days of life events (haha, my life is so dramatic with my overly emotional self) and go in on Monday ready to spill....then I go home and reflect on what we talked about and am ready to talk more about that on Wednesday. Before I only did once a week on Wednesday and for me it wasn't enough, and with 7 days between, it was too much to keep the progress going. I feel like I'm improving now. I feel like my T can say little things during the session and I can think about what she has to say....like yesterday, when I said, "Well, I find it hard to collect my thoughts and respond to someone right in the moment of a conversation." She said, "So, then you go home and ruminate?" YES. Thus the journal. It helps.

<3