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I am going to take a risk and possibly expose a lot of my ignorance of therapy but I am curious to know if I am the only one who thinks it would be beneficial to have more than one therapist that I can call on for help.

If I could afford the time and money to add a therapist to my treatment I would want to add two; a DBT T (or other psycho-educator) and a pastoral counselor. I don't know that I would see both of them every week or for an extended period of time but I like the idea of having these as options to add to my therapy. I did a modified version of this idea for a few months when I attended a DBT Skills group and a therapy group while seeing a pastoral counselor and I found it helpful. I am not doing that anymore. When the therapy and skills groups ended, I also stopped seeing the PC and began with a T who works specifically with SA trauma and began attending a twelve week support group for that as well.

The psycho-educator would help to continue building and maintaining the skills which help me handle the intense emotions that come up between individual sessions with my therapist. I would not process the emotions or the content which stirred those emotions with the psycho-educator, but I would need to learn what is needed to contain them and then keep a list of the triggers to work through with the primary T.

The pastoral counselor would help with the spiritual struggles that come up during counseling. Especially in the area of acceptance of what has happened in my past, the issues I am currently facing, and of what never will be in the future. Lol, writing that made me think I need a grief counselor too! I might say that except for me I know that acceptance is strongly tied to my understanding of the sovereignty of God; therefore, wrestling with acceptance is in fact wrestling with some of my faith issues. When life appears to conflict with what I know is true about God I need someone with the same faith that I want to embrace (key point) to help me with that piece. Maybe a minister of the gospel can do this sort of thing. I don't know. I just know it has to be someone whose faith will not be rocked because a client, who is digging deep in their soul, has hard-to-answer questions.

I know the usual client would not need this much care but it seems like a good idea for those who are a high risk to SI or have other high maintenance issues and want to avoid hospitalization. Another reason might be to expedite the process of healing or at least what is involved in the healing process. The peripheral therapists would have to set boundaries on what can be discussed in session with them. That way they will only enhance what the client is getting from therapy and not interfere with it. I am sure there are other reasons beyond the fear of losing a client or lawsuit issues that would keep a therapist from sharing a client with another therapist but, because I am not a trained counselor nor privy to the secrets of their trade, I cannot think what they would be.

I would love to hear thoughts and any experiences you have with this.

deeplyrooted
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Well, the way you describe seems like it would be helpful. You are talking more about adding adjunct providers and still having a primary T. I think this is different than just seeing 2 T's at the same time.

I have a back-up T, although I am still very unsure about ever using her. This poor woman has taken time out of her schedule three times to attend sessions with my primary T and myself and each time but one I've ended up asking her to leave within about 20 minutes. For some reason her presence there felt very threatening each time. My T did mention that I could still contact her if I needed to while she is on vacation (the back-up I mean).

I think a set-up like you describe could work very well and it's always nice not to have all of your support in one area in case something happens to interrupt that support.
dr, i just posted about this same issue on my dbt thread, and yes, i think it is what i am going to do. having a primary pa type t, and a dbt skills person..."tutor". i talked to a dbt gal about doing this tutoring, with the book and workbook i ordered, and once a week type stuff. the group times did not work for me as i need it in my kid's school day, and since i am not suicidal or si, she thought that might work out. i set an appt in late sep, i am still a bit iffy on it, but that is my thought. and to not belabor the details of the regular therapy, but just have someone to tutor me in the distress tolerance and heavy emotional reactivity issues.

i think it makes sense, and, since i may have this bpd diagnosis, traits, it takes the strain of that off of the pa, and lets each person deal with what they do best.

of course, my brain couldn't tolerate doing both in the same day, but separated out in the week. seems to me alot like a primary care dr. and a specialist to deal with the complex trauma issues.

i will let you know if it works, but i don't think the average regular pa t can deal with the regular stuff i need to work through without some maintenance of the complex trauma sorted out by a true specialist in that component. and i don't think the dbt gal will be pa enough (and not just cbt stuff) to deal with the unconcious reasons i am the way i am. to me, it makes perfect sense, and that is my plan. and i am excited about it, as it will take SO MUCH PRESSURE OFF THE "LOVE" I FALL INTO SO EASILY WITH THE T! and the dbt gal can handle that issue.

anyway, i digress, but, that's my thought and support! and i don't plan to tell either lover about the other...and my conscious CAN handle that coz i am not betraying ANYONE!!! how 'bout it for MY RIGHTS this time!!! ((too much caffiene!!)) jill
dr, the spiritual component for me was supported with t1, and that got me a good start, i plan to stay in a few bible studies to self-tutor that end, but that is an important element. and to find a Christian analyst with DBT training all in one...the odds are NOT GOOD!! Smiler jill

oh, yea, they would also have to be male and over 65 as i have WOMEN ISSUES (or maybe just 'bitch issues', T3) and can't work on attachment with a man my age and don't want someone without twenty years experience....kind of narrows my search down a bit!! Smiler
Hi deeplyrooted

I am in total agreement. I think it can be very beneficial to see multiple T's at once and have done so myself in the past.

Now I will say that my ex-T was totally against the ideal of me seeing another T while I was with her. She said that it wasn't right and a conflict of interest because the sessions may end up talking about one T versus the other and not about the actual client's issues.

But from the way you present this, it's seeing Ts with very different approaches and I personally think there's no problem with that. You have a need to find the best system of help and support and if this is the means that helps you then I can't find any wrong in it.

I'm only with one T now, but I've considered consulting with another one as a backup or safety net if anything ever goes wrong with current T. But I have my paranoia and attachment issues to content with. When T was recently on vacation I was worried something would happen to her and I'd not only be left T-less, but I have to grieve while trying to find a new one. It would help to at least have a backup in that case.

Will you tell them about each other? I don't know if I'd tell mine or not. I might worry she think I needed her less or perhaps not at all. But maybe not.

Jill, to your point, I also think it would lessen the love/attachment in some way. At the very least it would make you more focused on the process that's going on and less on the person. In my mind I'm thinking it would go like this: less of me thinking "does she like me, does she like me?" and more of me thinking "ok, well I'm not as impressed by the way she handled that versus the secondary T, I should bring this up". Or knowing me I'd fall for both of them and get double the transference. Blah!
I find this an interesting and relevant topic. My T was the one who suggested I see another T for awhile to work on trauma issues as he has no experience with trauma and he wanted me to see a woman (who turned out to be D) to do some EMDR therapy. For reasons known only to him at this point, he misrepresented his relationship with her calling her a close personal friend and colleage (which according to D is not true) and that put me totally off from seeing her as it felt to me that they would have had some personal history and bringing his "real life" into my therapy scared the crap out of me and so I resisted. The other reason was that she was a female and I did not want to work with a female and felt I could never trust her with something as serious as revelation of trauma and abuse. It took me years to tell my T about my past and just sitting and retelling everything to a new female T was just so scary to me that I could not do it.

Now, after the horrible disruption/termination with my T I have met on my own with D and she seems to think that this disruption need not be so final and that I have some things to work out with him still but that she is willing to work on trauma issues with me and take responsibility for my emotional stability to take the pressure off my T and she has no qualms about working collaboratively with him as a team. He originally suggested the team approach months ago as a way to help me in the best way possible and as he stressed up to the very bitter end, he wanted what was best for me and he wants me to get well and live my life fully and to it's potential. So perhaps this is a workable solution in that I can see D as my regular T and see my old T on a check-in kind of basis to work through life issues and problems that come up while D works on the past.

I dont' know if at this point he is willing to step back and re-evaluate what happened to us. He is still on vacation, but D said she planned to call him this week. I am hopeful that he will work with us for my sake as the other option of just abandoning me will leave me with so much damage to undo with D before I can even begin to address the past or get beyond the trust issues with her. And honestly, if this all falls through I just don't see how I can trust any T or anyone for that matter not to betray me or hurt me or abandon me again. I never want to experience this deep level of pain ever again.

So, yes I do see a benefit of working with 2 Ts if they are in agreement and it works as a team approach with each one dealing with specific areas of therapy, such as EMDR or DBT, or spiritual counseling, etc.

TN
TN, i like what you said. for her to handle your emotions and trauma work. i would think your t would at least be able to give some deep insight that would propel your work forward with this new t.

i just got my dbt books in the mail, and think i am going to try this, and plan to do it separate, if need be, to other therapy, if i feel this dbt is too dry and cbt-ish, but it very well may not be that dry. just reading the first chapter, this marsha lineman points out many aspects that make this therapy quite different, almost seeming to say, dbt was developed for cbt-resistant clients, who, alot of those were bpd. long story short, that is what i got from that.

and as much as i don't want to have to have it, i think bpd is me, and i think i need to give dbt a shot.

i ramble, but tn, i am just not quite ready to be brave enough to connect the two therapists, old strings, but, like mom and dad, i would fear they would 'gang' up on me for being so broken...i've got a long way to go, i know, so don't take my perspective too seriously, but i am glad to know i am not the only one to contemplate two t's.

keep us posted, and i do wish you the best when this guy returns from his trip. i can only imagine the turmoil he must feel while away. i think it is good, too, that you see his humanity. not that that means his behavior was right, but carrying anger and hatred costs us more than it costs them. so, kuddos to you, tn. and all the best!! jill
quote:
i am just not quite ready to be brave enough to connect the two therapists, old strings, but, like mom and dad, i would fear they would 'gang' up on me for being so broken...


jill...this is a huge part of the reason I resisted my Ts suggestion of working with D for so long. I was truly afraid of both of them for some reason being against me. And my T was wrong is misrepresenting D to me as a "close personal friend and colleague". D does not confirm this and it just scared me to have him and her working together with a shared history in dealing with me (the one with no self-esteem trying to hold my own with 2 PhDs). It was too much like he was bringing into therapy his "real" life and I could not face it. And he never offered me another option of working with someone aside from her so I thought of all kinds of weird reasons why it HAD to be her. But D says she barely knows him and only spoke to him twice...she does not know him in a personal way at all. If he had told me the truth about her then perhaps I would not have felt so threatened and refused to even consider working as a team approach. So sad what not being open and honest can do to a wonderful relationship...one with such promise...

Good luck jill with the dbt stuff. At least you are courageous enough to go out there and search for what you need. I give you a lot of credit to facing up to what you believe is your dx...but please don't allow what you think your dx is to define or limit you. You are a smart and caring and wonderful person who has been very supportive to me in my crisis.

TN
I actually went to another T last night - a woman - to see if she would see me in addition to my other T - who is a man. She said, no, she would not do it. She told me my T was doing a good job and to stay with him. I am in erotic transference and it's so painful I wanted another T to help me with it. She said to work through it with my male T and that it would be a conflict to go to her, too.
Hi, Deepfried...yeah, I can get that...my experinece of it is a bit different, because, for some reason I can accept that the two things I am doing are related, but different, so I don't know why, but it is easier to keep it kind of separate. My main problem seems to be, how much should I talk about therapy with my SD, and how much should I talk about SD with my therapist? that part I am finding hard pressed to deal with, since so much of my problems in therapy are somehow spiritually related and vice/versa...how do you deal with this?

BB

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