Sure, I have lots of happy memories. In fact I tend to think I had a pretty good childhood and that my family is healthy enough, as families go. Most of the events (traumas?) that I believe are responsible for landing me in therapy happened in my early twenties, so just a few years ago. However, T has helped me to see that there were emotional and other deficits in my upbringing that contributed to making me so susceptible to negative effects from those later traumas when they did occur. She also thinks I minimize the problems in my FOO and maybe she's right. So I guess things weren't perfect, but I think I had it pretty good on the whole.

((((HIC)))))

At least you thought you had it good. I guess that's got to count for something. The early 20's are hard. They were for me at least.

Liese

I have a lot of happy memories, with my best friend and stuff... and holidays. I really well sectioned off my mind most of what I recall or think about is positive. I did have moments of maybe not emotional containment but connection with some extended family members and especially my brother.

I have some really lovely memories. I made a huge cardboard heart last summer, about the size of a small cafe table, and on one side I filled it with good memories about my father and the other with good memories about my mother. Interestingly there were more about my mother, I think mothers just DO more, like make the birthday cakes and sew me curtains and dresses and stuff. We have a lot of good holidays too.
Soon I think I shall tackle listing good memories bout my sister....

I also had a wonderful aunt whom I stayed with for two summers. She was a great mom and had eight kids and we just seemed to play out all day. And then I had some lovely teachers in my life who created many happy memories for me. And some sweet friends

v

I would say the vast majority of memories from my childhood are either happy or neutral. I have lots of great memories of birthdays, holidays, vacations, summer camp, playing with friends, cooking with my brother, playing board games with my family. I could probably go on and on about it. I am really saddened to think that some don't have any positive childhood memories at all If that describes you, then you have my full compassion and I hope you'll see fit to go make yourself some better memories ASAP!

Er um!!! I don't remember my childhood (or much else) but have a 'feeling' of being close to my grandmother!!! but I'm sure there must have been some good times!

I really thought the majority of you would say that you don't have any happy memories so I am actually pleasantly surprised that some of you do have happy memories.

I'm kind of with Morgs on this one. I can't think of one good family time or event or outing or vacation we had. But my parents were focused on themsevles. They were of the "children should be seen and not heard" mindset. Luckily, I do have happy memories but they have to do with being at school and camp. Not with my family except my grandma too.

But that's all going to change now. I'm going to make up for it during the second half of my life.

Growing up, family life was either really bad or really good, so needless to say, I do have quite a few happy memories. I have a huge extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins) so a lot of the happy memories revolve around being with them and all the shenanigans my cousins and I got ourselves into. Also church holds a lot of really good childhood memories as well. It's hard to remember a lot with my immediate family since a lot of stuff is still blocked out but I remember holidays were always lovely (until I was about 10 or 11). When I look at pictures of myself when I was younger it looks like I was happy and its nice to know that at some points my life wasn't always so chaotic and stressful and scary.

I do have many happy memories. They all were when we (my brothers and I) were with my grandmparents and cousins ~ even if my parents were with ~ because grandma was so full of love and we had a blast playing with our cousins. I especially have good memories of summers spent at the cabin on the lake and swimming and boating and water skiing...good times

Hrm...I have some "good" memories, but I am disconnected from any sense of happiness about them. Like, I don't think back on those memories and think, "Oh yeah, that was so fun," and have a sort of joy or deep nostalgia about it. Every once in a while something like that will pop up, but it is so fleeting. Overall, whether it's horrible, sad, upsetting stuff or good stuff, I just feel pretty disconnected. I also, like AG, don't have a ton in the way of specific memories. Almost everything early on is just a sense of, "This is how things were," or "These are the types of things we used to do," or maybe, "This is the story I have heard or remember having told to a lot of people over the years," and I'm so disconnected from some of those, I can't be objectively sure whether they are true.

I guess, just like with the bad stuff, I rather know I was sometimes happy than can actually remember or connect to feeling happy. I think so much of my life is a dissociative fog, even into adulthood, that I have real trouble connecting to any sense of having felt something. It is always just that sense of objectively observing the bits of memory and deciding, "The experience I had then is called [anger/joy/sadness]," rather than being able to connect to those feelings upon recollection.

Does this sound bizarre?

quote:

But that's all going to change now. I'm going to make up for it during the second half of my life.

I like the sounds of that Liese

I have some happy memories, but most of them are between the ages of 3-8 years old, and there are more tearful memories than happy ones.

However, when I look back at pictures of my childhood, I can see good things in the images, I just can't recall good feelings? I don't know if that makes sense - I mean, I know we had a lot of the "traditional" things kids "should" have, like birthday parties and family picnics and play dates and such, but many came with a hefty price tag.

I think in that respect I was really blessed because I have many happy memories. Somehow I was always able to overlook the bad things and focus on the good when it came to family and friends. I laughed till I cried and my stomach muscles hurt. I laughed a lot - every day and so many times a day. I had one adventure after another. On the flip side of that, some really bad things happened, but because I never told anyone, and I simply tried my hardest to get on with life and put on a happy image, (which apparently I must have been good at, because to this day nobody knows), I suppose it became a case of fake it till you make it. To be honest life was almost "fine" until I decided to tell my story just over 18 months ago to the T that has now left me. From the moment I told her I CRACKED!!! I'm such a different person now. It seems every single thing that was bad all came flying in at me at speeds that I could barely comprehend, and then I was left trying to process EVERYTHING all at once, while still trying my hardest to act normal and not let anyone know what I was going through. Clearly I am still a "faker".

I am so very thankful though for the good memories, they still bring a smile to my face, and so I hope one day I will be able to forget about all the bad and focus only on the good. If I could just be in control again I'd be happy enough. I have learnt a lot in this time but I don't wish to dwell here so I guess it is up to me to be strong and look for the good.

It's an interesting question, Liese- I have many happy memories.. or I used to have many happy memories, until...Guru T opened my eyes to some things that were missing back then, and now it kind of all feels a bit sour, or I see those experineces differently than I used to- or I find myself looking for the negative, almost. It's almost hard to take in and remember the good times/relationships that eventually transpired at his point in my journey, for some reason, and that experience causes me a lot of shame I guess, I "should" be more positive about it all. I haven't thought about stuff like this much, lately- thanks for the thought-provoking thread. I figure that when I visit here these days I should post a bit so as not to lurk.

hugs, you-

Beebs

I see that I am still plagued by the curse of page two, even after all this time. sheesh.

((((BB))))

Couldn't leave you up there on the second page by yourself. So nice to see you posting again. I'm glad things seem to be pretty steady with CowboyT. Did you ever tell us why you call him that? I picture him with a ten-gallon hat and cowboy boots.

This was such an odd question for me to reflect on because I was caught in some kind of no-man's land of not being able to validate my childhood unhappiness. My mother's version (and what she would prefer be my version) is that we all had so much fun. But through therapy have come to appreciate that I didn't have fun and I wasn't happy and that's the most important thing: my persepctive. I was the youngest in my family and no one connected to me. My FOO was an emotional vacuum. So an odd place to be.

I hope I don't come across as whining because I'm not. It was almost freeing for me, to believe and trust in my reality that things were really $hitty. With T's help now, I'm able to validate it. It finally all feels okay and I'm not feeling bad about acknowledging that there were some big gaping holes in my childhood. I feel somehow resolved about it all and that feels nice. Like, I might actually be ready to move on. Kind of exciting and scary at the same time.

I do, yes. I remember when my little half sister was born and I came from school and Dad made a rocking motion with his arms which indicated that she had been born. To hold her for the first time was wonderful. I wish I could have had the freedom to look after her more but my stepmother was EXTREMELY possessive of her because my Dad had abused her caretaking of me when they argued.

I had a great relationship with my grandmother when I was a child and my family across seas. They really doted on me. I loved they're care and attention. My grandmother was uber special to me.

I remember Dad and I buying a playstation. That was a father/daughter bond, one of which was rare to attain. He bought me the 4th harry potter book and i didnt know what it was. I remember sitting by the door and he giving it to me.

Birthdays i got presents and stuff. He bought me a keyboard which is where i started learning piano from. it was my pride and joy.

its a shame that I dont have much good interpersonal, emotional memories of him and I. its because the household was so unpredictable. usually neutral then anxious/angry. sometimes content but rarely.

i remember when mum used to come over for a few hours every few weeks and she would give me the attention i so needed off of a mother. but she'd go and id forget about it. i remember one memory of sitting on her lap and being tickled by her and laughing. it was sweet.