Sadly-
I recently approached my T with the question. (he is my one and only T) "So how do we end therapy" his response- "I don't know, I don't do that. I am always here.

We talked about the separation thing and how that would affect both of us- including him sharing- becauses of the nature of what he does, he needed to build defenses for himself because clients that he becomes attached to grow and move on, and how hard that can be for him. He said he never says goodbye- but the clients often do. I found that to be both reassuring and sad for him.

This is coming up because eventhough I still have huge unexplained freak- outs, we can both sense that eventhough I love him in a T way, I don't need him as much as I once did. Maybe I am growing just a little.

Be gentle with yourself - Sadly. It sounds like you've had one incredible journey. HUGS!

Sadly - I wish I had an answer for you on this one...or for me...or for everyone on here. ((((Sadly)))) From how sweetP sounds as a person, I can't imagine that he would cut off completely like that if you were feeling you just couldn't...but I also don't know how your health system works out there or his policies or his group's policies. This is a conversation I need to have with my T, when I'm ready to hear whatever the answer is.

Hi Sadly... sorry this question is causing you so much angst. Unfortunately, I think you would have to ask sweetP for the answer. I'm sure it differs according to country, health plan... but also it is an individual decision on the part of the T/P. OldT told me that when I left him his door would always be open to me (as a patient) and I was always welcome to go back to visit him. Yeah... we saw how that held up in real life...

But my current T says that once we are in each other's lives we are always in each other's lives and that the relationship goes on as long as I want it to.... now I know he means in a clinical way. We would not be meeting for a coffee or dinner. What he means is that I would be welcome to go back to meet with him whenever I needed to and that he would not be adverse to occassional emails or phone calls to check in and make some contact. Knowing this has taken a lot of stress and fear out of the relationship. I am starting to feel secure that he won't ask me to leave, it will be my decision, and when I do leave, I am not leaving him completely and forever. I love him for understanding this. I know that he has clients for twenty years... not on a regular basis but as once in awhile visits to catch up. He says it's very gratifying to see how people have grown and changed and what they have done with their lives after therapy. Personally, I love his outlook on this and agree with it from both a patient's point of view but also as a student's POV. I think my T is well loved by many of his patients, and with good reason, which makes me feel like I'm in good, steady, caring, secure hands.

So...Sadly... find the right time and talk to your sweetP about this.

Hugs
TN

Thanks each of you.
Mayo: your t sounds very open about endings, you are lucky.
Yaku: yes, I have to be ready to hear the answer when I ask the question and as I have not recovered from the 'no holding' answer I don;t think another 'no' would be manageable right now.
TN: urgh, my P is in the NHS - so for all I know, they have rules and he LOVES his rules.
He would probably read it out from his little rule book. did you know I bought some cushions for the centre as apparently the NHS does not believe in providing soft furnishings for the Mental Health sector. I have been told they are trying to find out what the rules are on this.

(that was not sweetP - that was the staff at the desk.)
I just could not handle an outright 'no' at the moment. In what I know about him, in how sweet he is, he could/might say: "well, you could ring me occasionally and I will leave it open if you need to see me once in a while."
He just might.

but I am not in the much enviable position you are in with your super T, in that YOU make the ending. I will be told when I am to end and I shall probably have to fight about it and argue over it and eventually be resigned about it, so watch this space. It causes me so much anxiety. I am still getting over the ten day gap never mind an ending. sigh.

But yes, I am well aware that I am catastrophizing

And ps: does anyone know how to spell 'priviledge'?