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Does Transference get in the way of Therapy?

T tasMember
I hope everyone is doing well Smiler

I have been wondering about this for a while now. Does transference get in the way of therapy?

What I mean by this is you go in to see your therapist for x, y, and z. You want to deal with those issues...the initial reasons of why you sought out help.

Then this thing starts occuring where you have no control over it. You can't seem to get to what you need to get to because you are feeling so many things toward your therapist.

With my experience, I have had a lot of negative transference towards the therapist and we talked about it in the last session. Very difficult. I hate it. I would rather love and idealize him than have strong feelings of hatred towards him. It just seems it would be easier and I don't enjoy hating someone.

Now, what is worse on top of all that hatred...I am now wishing he was my father. I wasn't expecting this and wish that it would stop. Yes, I did ask him if there is a way to stop transference. He told me he doesn't know if there is a way to stop it. So, then I figured if there was no way to stop it...the only way to stop it is to stop therapy. I swear, I feel like I am always between a rock and a hard place.

I know that I need to keep going to therapy and I know that no matter who else I went to, I would have these issues come up.

I keep dragging myself back...but I get tired of the feelings of angst and hatred and just want it all to go away. I just really want it all to go away.

T.
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room2growroom2growCo-moderator
Good question TAS. I actually think transference is part of the therapy process that takes the work from surface, superficial "I had a bad day, woe is me" mentality to digging deep into the work that needs to be done.

I think it's the transference that strengthens the bonds of the relationship so that client can trust T enough to go deep. And yes, you have to go through the "I hate my T" feelings and address them with T. And the "I love my T" feelings and address them with T. I can't tell you how many sessions that I've spent talking with T about our relationship. It almost seemed like a waste at the time, talking about how I felt about her and that stuff, but now I see how important it was in building our now-solid and reliable relationship.

It's all a pain in the @$$ in the moment, but so far, I can say at least for me it's been worth it.
xoxoxoxoMember
Yes, sometimes transference can have an adverse effect on
therapy. However, if you are seeing someone who was
psychoanalytically educated and trained,
transference is basically the heart of therapy.

So one thing I wanted to make clear-when
transference "gets in the way" of therapy
positive transference can be just as or more
destructive to therapy as negative transferrence.
Its not a matter of positive or negative,
but a matter of INTENSITY.

There are things a therapist can do to lessen
that intensity (i disagree with what your therapist
has told you). For example, more self disclosure
reduces transferrence intensity...

Just my take on this. There are many research
articles, however, in the journals to back this up.

Not sure if I was of any help, but want you
to know that so-called negative transferrence
can be just as, or more, therapeutic as positive
transference. But this is most likely the
case with analysts who have been through their
own analysis. Otherwise, a therapists countertransferrence
can screw things up. This is SO important, imo.

Your admirable, TAS, for your tenacity. It will pay off some day.

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