I'd like to add that I am only truly comfortable with one-on-one interaction. In groups or when I know other people are around and might be listening, the self-doubt becomes much more intense.

Again, thank you! And I apologize if this at all sounds depressing. My true goal is to be able to make the people around me as happy as I will soon be.

Welcome

You sound just like me. Every move, thought or interaction is over thought through, someone asks a question I am already thinking 10 steps ahead of them to try and second guess what they might say or what they want me to say.

No answers I'm afraid but I have been in counselling 3 years!!!

Hope you get some wisdom here and look forward to hearing from you again.

Hello and welcome to the forum .

Social interaction is a game, or at least it can be. It's still worth getting out there and socializing (imo) because if you never do, the opportunities for cultivating more authentic connections will never happen. If we can never be authentic with others, life gets pretty tiresome pretty fast.

Idk, it is a struggle because not everyone wants to go there, and finding people you click with and that are interested in deeper levels of relating can be tricky, especially when complicated by issues like anxiety, struggles with self acceptance, etc.

I feel like the more comfortable I become with my own feelings and thoughts (through journaling, dream interpretation, and especially therapy) the easier it is to take small risks with people and open up.

Just some thoughts off the top of my head. Best of luck with everything.

You're certainly right about that heldincompassion, it can be difficult to determine what level you can connect with somebody before you get to know them. I think that is something that I worry about too much. I act as if there is only one chance to create a meaningful relationship with somebody and so I try too hard.

scars09 you should focus on being you and not worrying about what somebody might want you to say. I do that too but I am starting to realize that what people actually like is how true and genuine you are. It's not really about personality traits, it's more about attitude and how you carry yourself. We are influenced by every single person we encounter and do you ever notice when you talk to somebody in a crappy mood that it kind of brings you down? Well it's the same with insecurity or over-analyzing (makes you seem too serious maybe). Other people are putting themselves out there for you but you are not, and it seems almost greedy that you would allow them to do it and not give yourself back to them. Just when you start thinking too much really ask yourself what it is you are looking for. A lot of times something like this will root from the tiniest thing and grow into something completely ridiculous. I hope this helps

Mr. Thinker,

Just wanted to say hi and welcome!