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Email from T - Countertransference

kmaykmayMember
I have read definitions over and over again about transference and countertransference and I still don't really get it. Embarrassed

This is a direct copy and paste from an email my T sent me today. What does this mean?

quote:
Countertransference (therepeutic term yes) is the part of me that accepts all of you, the good, the bad, the hurt, the funny, the successful and I know that I am not the only one


To me, it sounds negative. Like it's not really "her" that accepts those parts of me? I don't know though, b/c I don't understand this whole transference, countertransference thing. I feel like the defintions make it harder to understand that it really is. Confused But never the less, I feel like this comment should make me feel good, but it makes me feel bad for some reason?? And what do you think about the part where she says she accepts all of me, the good, "the bad"...what? THE BAD?

Why oh why must we analyze and scrutinize every single little thing T says or does? It's exhausting...
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nigeldanielnigeldanielMember
Hi kmay. Well I have to admit I do not get the gig at all !!! even after first reading about them on Wiki and google. The best I can do is put them down to how we feel for our T's and how they feel for us.
I would not read much in to what T has to say back about them myself as they always try and cover ever word and every bit off ground when they talk at all, its what they do, I think. Cool anyway before I go I may as well admit I have never said a word about them to my T [transference or counter'ers] as I would be and Embarrassed to say anything off such a nature to her
ND
pathwewalkpathwewalkMember


I think Draggers nails it. At least the way I understand countertransference anyway.

But since we all know that we constantly scan, analyze, & dissect everything our Ts do, the only thing that I wonder about is the phrase: "...and I know I am not the only one."

Kmay, I think that may indicate that some of the things you bring into the sessions stir up reactions in her. Hard not to...Ts are human afterall (even though I swear mine is Doctor Who but that's a topic for another post maybe.) Smiler
kmaykmayMember
(((nigeldaniel))) - Lol...thank you! I feel a little less ridiculous now for not quite understanding it Smiler

(((Dragonfly & Outsider))) - Yes...I think you are exactly right. I think she just misused the term and confused the heck out of me!! I ended up emailing and asking her what countertransference is and this was her response:
"It is the things that come up for me as a therapist. Like my mothering protective side that wants to keep you safe."
So that made me feel much better about her comment, but still confused me so yes, I have come to the conclusion that she just mis-used the term. I did look up Unconditional Positive Regard and I think this is exactly what she meant instead.
Thanks!

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