(((Debbie))) Welcome to the forum. I've been in a simillar place a handful of times. I have numbed out, cried, had flashbacks in and just after session very much related to stuff we were talking about in session... It has really hard for me to go back, but it's been worth it. My T has always reassured me it's ok, we are ok, and there's nothing to be embarassed about. She's told me she doesn't feel angry or mad or troubled by it. She has explained that she just feels compassion. It's hard for me to take that in, but it's real and true for my T, and I bet it is for your T too. Ts do this because they want to help us through exactly this kind of stuff. Therapy, and all the stuff we bring into it, life, can be triggering and hard. I can relate to the feeling of being embarassed. But you really don't have anything to be embarassed about. Does your T know about what triggered you and how?
hang in there
~jd

(((((Debbie)))))) I have had several sessions where I almost cry and then get overwhelmed, dissociate, go somewhere else or into the past. For some reason, I get embarrassed by the fact that I can't cry...I always "go away" when I'm on the verge. T is always gentle and receptive. I think there is very little you could experience in therapy that there wouldn't be at least a few of us to say, "Yeah, that's normal from my experience." I'm sure your T has care and compassion for you, like Jane says, so if you can try not to worry too much, it might be positive to explore how those sessions are making you feel with T.

Hi Debbie, and welcome
Please don't feel embarassed! It's ok for that sort of stuff to happen, and if your T is a good T, she'll know what to say even if you don't.
And, I guess all beginnings can have moments that may feel awkward because you don't each other very well yet, and you haven't yet established a firm therapeutic alliance. But, you will. It'll be OK.

Hi and thank you for your helpful replies, very kind, I guess I'll talk to her on Monday about being embarrased. She knows she triggered something as she asked me when I came back if she did. I guess its still early days yet

Hi DebbieN,
Just wanted to say welcome to the forum! I know what you are experiencing in therapy is confusing and uncomfortable, but you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Therapy is unlike any other relationship; it's the place where it's safe to let this stuff out. And trust me when I say my therapist has seen me cry. When I stopped going to therapy regularly, I think Kleenex's stock actually dropped.

AG

quote:

Originally posted by Attachment Girl:
When I stopped going to therapy regularly, I think Kleenex's stock actually dropped.

AG

AG...I'm right there with you! I'm certain my T probably goes to Costco to buy Kleenex by the pallet after dealing with me. Crying is one thing I can do quite well.