So my marriage is over. Finally. It's been off and on again for a few years. We do have a child and I intend to do the best I can for that little life of mine.

It started before our child was born, there seemed to be this incessant need to create a family and to beat other to the punch. My ex-spouse didn't have an easy upbringing. Her parents separation was bitter and ugly spanning until the day her mother died.

I tried to always be there for her, but as time went on there was a serious lack of communication driving me to act out in anger. I sought counselling after the recommendation of my ex-spouse and we gave our marriage another shot, for what she tells me was for our child. Ouch, it's important, but still. Now she tells me she doesn't love me anymore, and hasn't for a long time.

There is a very obvious history of emotional detachment and abandonment issues. There's even a predisposition for dimensia within her family it seems. When I asked her to seek counseling I was told 'I've dealt with my issues, I'm fine' and later if it was brought up it came with defensiveness. 'I'm fine, you have the problem' etc.

Now we are in the midst of splitting up and I want the best for her and our child. I see the cycle reoccurring as well, I try to help, she shuts down, I try harder, she shuts down completely, becomes defensive, I get angry.

At least now I've learned to remove myself from the situation. It's too late to ever go back. I hope for both of our happiness, but right now it can seem so distant.

All the signs seem to be there, I know she has to realize it herself to seek professional therapy. I will always love her in some regard and don't want to see the family mistakes repeated in this generation.