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End of relationship

amazonamazonMember
Dear All,

I just broke up with my boyfriend. We've been together for over 3 years, living together for some 2,5 years. I can't get my head around it completely, I don't know whose fault it is, mine, his, both, or is it just about time to end the relationship that doesn't take us anywhere anymore.
I'm not hurting over it. I feel rather confused, maybe sorry for him, cause I kind of think he needs me more then I needed him, but he is too proud to admit it or show it. I don't know if I still love him. That could be partly because I love my T.
All I know for sure is that I need a break, I need time to figure out what I really want. Last year around this time I wanted to marry him and plan a family together. This year I want to be just for myself. I need to be alone for some time. I don't know if I used him. I don't think so. I was trying to give as much as I could. I suppose he did the same. But apparently it was not enough to build a happy and stable relationship for many years.
I need to talk to my T, but I don't think he can give me answers. It's a bit of a mess now. I know the cause of this whole mess is my therapy. But I also know that without the therapy there would be just different kind of mess and I would probably feel more helpless.
I feel like I needed to suspend my relationship for the timebeing, like I need to (I want to) focus on my relationship with my T, which is most important thing in my life now. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know if I love my boyfriend. I've been mainly pissed off with him for the last couple of days. Maybe I was a bitch over something that was not his fault. But I don't really know. Yet.
Well, that's it. Any opinions, insights, similar experiences? Cause I simply don't know.
Original Post
M mrsprufrockMember
Hi Amazon.

I'm not in your situation but I think you shouldn't be so hard and demanding of yourself. I'm sure you're upset and worried about the whole situation and I hope you're ok.

All I can say is that my relationship with my ex looked so so different once i started going to therapy. I didn't go to therapy until well after we'd broken up but it gave me great insight into why I did the things I did in the relationship. I don't know if I could've gotten that clarity while still in the relationship.

I think the important thing is to do what's best for you. Because if you're unhappy, it doesn't matter how much you love your boyfriend, it will be far to difficult to be together. I had/have such a low opinion of myself that I spent much of my time crying and inventing problems that weren't there. I couldn't trust my ex and I needed constant reassurance that he loved me. I now understand why I felt that way and would approach a relationship totally differently now.

So I'm sorry to hear about the end of your relationship but I wish you all the best.

Mrs. P

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