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12 replies

Ending therapy

S sparklewhizzMember
Hi,
I have been with my therapist for 15 months. Yesterday she told me that she was taking a break from therapy due to the credit crunch and needing time for herself. I FULLY appreciate this and I think she is doing the right thing for her. However, this has left me feeling very abandoned. She has said that it wont just be a sudden ending, but we need to work towards it. The rational side of my brain is telling me that it is fine and it had to happen anyway and that I can now test out everything I have learnt. The irrational side of my brain is in turmoil. I know that it is her as a person I will miss and not so much the actual therapy. It is like losing someone who has been in my life giving me unconditional support/love/time and my initial reaction is to text her and say I can't come back at all, as that is how I deal with loss, I block the person out. Any advice?
Thanks
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ButterflyButterflyMember
Hi Sparklewhizz,

Cool name Smiler

Am really sorry you are about to face the loss of your T. I went through the same last year when my T stopped seeing her clients and it is an incredibly painful thing to go through. I'm glad that it won't be a sudden ending and you will have time to work it through with her but I can also understand your initial reaction of not wanting to go back. I hope you are able to share with her your feelings surrounding this and that you are able to gain some support here.

Butterfly
ladygreyladygreyMember
I wonder if she would be willing to do therapy on the side in addition to her new career.

I do not know the laws in the UK, but if she is not able to renew her license to practice therapy, it may still be possibly to practice as an unlicensed therapist. If she is unable to maintain an office in which to practice, she may be able to have her home approved by a governing board to practice out of her home in which case she could perhaps meet with you in the evenings or on weekends.

Or perhaps she can make an arrangement with a therapist to rent out their office on weekends. She could meet with a few patients on Saturday mornings. Or one evening a week.

There is also the possibility of skypeing with you.

There are creative ways for her to continue doing therapy if she wishes. I wonder if she has explored any of these ideas.
yakusokuyakusokuMember
Frowner sparklewhizz - I'm sorry! I often fear my T will stop commuting to my area and I will not be able to see him anymore. I would probably want to cut myself off suddenly as well, but I think a gradual process and transition to new T would probably be the most helpful way to go. I know it feels like pulling off a bandage very slow, but I don't think I would be able to process that loss in the way I was meant to if I just avoided it by quitting on the spot.
irishroseirishroseMember
quote:
Originally posted by sparklewhizz:
It is like losing someone who has been in my life giving me unconditional support/love/time and my initial reaction is to text her and say I can't come back at all, as that is how I deal with loss, I block the person out. Any advice?
Thanks


Sparkle, I can totally relate to this and thank you for putting it so nicely into words I could never seem to find.

I did this very thing with my T but I was unable to effectively convey those feelings to her at the time. Of course, she thought my action equated to anger -- far from it.

Unlike your situation, I was able to reconnect with my therapist and ask for ongoing sessions and we worked through that less than graceful departure of mine.

All that said, I'd be inclined to tell you not to bolt. As difficult as it may be, try to stick it out to the end as I think it will give you better closure -- even though it may not feel that way to you right now.

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