(((River))) Any way you can change the situation at work or no?
I get angry/frustrated at work all the time. I've learned to be pretty shameless about the way I speak. If I don't agree with something, don't like something, want ideas, what to talk about changing something, need something I'm not getting... I'll just say it. I've only learned how to do that because I do consulting (aka I get paid to give my "educated" (lol) opinion).
I'm sorry it's hard
I know in some positions at work it is harder than others if you don't feel you have a voice, for example. The job I do is at a level where composure is part of what I'm paid for. I have to be positive and encouraging, coolheaded, and understanding even when someone is in my face screaming. I also have the responsibility that in my work if they do that to me there are some advanced positions I can suggest them out of, have them written up, and in some cases terminated. Power = responsibility & fairness & not taking it personal = REPRESSED RAGE.
Aside from my negative coping behaviors (self destructive stuff). I vent to a friend (write or talk), vent on my Ts voicemail, vent to my cats at home. I also distract myself. Mostly though - I WALK. Any sort of movement helps. Even at my desk I will sigh (or sometimes concentrate on my breathing or noticing things in my cube to ground myself) and then fiddle with one of the 100 toys I have in my office then... save it for later.
I do something I learned in DBT which is acceptance without approval. I say to myself... okay... I've got no choice on how this is (or if I do I figure out what I can say, and if it doesn't work... well back to square 1 again). So that is part 1, accepting that whatever happened, happened and it is how it is. The next part is that I DON'T APPROVE, which means I give myself every right on earth to be pissed off - even if I can't do anything to fight it then, or ever. So... I schedule a time for myself to be pissed. Sometimes that helps calm my feelings because I say "I hear you, and we're going to go BERZERK when we get home".
It's so hard...
I'm probably not helping. There are tons of times I just brood all day and barely make it through then just go home and cry and be bitter for a week and get angry on the way to work every day dreading it... until it goes away. I have sort of a separate "persona" I send to work - that helps a lot. Corporate Cat is not nearly as cool as me. Oh, another thing you can do is sort of imagine something nice... like a vacation or do something kind - usually when I'm pissed off is when I'll call to check in on one of my clients, or send someone an acknowledgement of their time, or see if someone recently got a promotion that I know and congratulate them. That picks up my mood until and even sometimes move the anger along.
I think I saw you say on another thread (SO sorry if this wasn't you) that it's scary to start topics so I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with my paragraphs and paragraphs of response! I'm glad you started this thread. Anger is SO HARD to master when you can't get it out right then.