I know everyone has to go through waiting.
On Monday at lunchtime I had a very full on auditory trauma flashback that had me feeling extremely upset.
I had about 48 hours between the flashback occuring and my next T session.
All I wanted to do was pick up the phone and call T and tell him what had happened and know that he knew about this. He has strongly encouraged me to bring this sort of experience into a session rather than call him to talk about it.
So I sat waiting for two days barely managing to function as a mum and at work.
While I felt better having told him about the flashback at our session this morning, I'm left trying to make sense of the fact that I had to wait two whole days to tell him something that was psychologically killing me. Because I had to wait, I ended up feeling worthless and unimportant and that whether I felt overly joyful or suicidal, it wouldn't change my T's availability. He'd make me wait regardless.