incognito... take the Saturday appt and GO. You need to see him before his vacation, especially now. And he was the one who screwed up the appointment NOT YOU so it's up to him to make amends or correct the situation. I have seen my T (with my son) on a Saturday when he messed up my son's normal appointment. Although it was at the office not his home... it was still a Saturday. I didn't feel any anxiety about seeing him on a Saturday because it was his fault our appointment was moved and it was his suggestion not mine.

I think you really need to go even if all you talk about is this situation. It can't wait until he comes back from vacation, you will be too upset and would have to suffer needlessly while he is gone. By going to see him tomorrow you will be taking care of yourself.

I know it all seems so hard at times.
TN

(((incognito))) I would feel just as you do. In fact, I often feel just as you do! But, if you can manage it, I agree with BG, taking the appointment he offered and working through those feelings would be a good idea.

For what it's worth, my T does all our Friday Skype sessions from his home on one of his days off (he works pretty much non-stop Monday morning through late Thursday night and commutes two hours away from home to do so). I am his only client with phone sessions, although he will field emergency calls and do administrative stuff on that day, obviously. This week, because I've had a lot coming up for a few weeks in a row, he has offered to stay at the office he uses on Wednesdays in order to give me an in person session, instead of a Skype session. There is one other client as well, I think, but he is basically giving up his day off and meeting with me for hours! Then, he has to commute 1.5 hours home after. Accepting something like that stirs up so many conflicting feelings in me that I nearly canceled. On Monday, he had to switch my session and cut it shorter at the last minute too and it nearly wrecked my ability to talk about anything. I can really empathize with where you're at. Ugh, I got off the point there, but others have told me and I think you would tell me as regards today's session to let my T decide what he can/will offer and manage his own boundaries.

I'm really sorry that his screw-up put you in such a bad position...however, I'm glad he caught his own screw-up first and you didn't show up double booked or to find him not there or something like that. And, I'm really glad that he immediately offered you two other options. That shows he cares about getting you a session as soon as possible. I am really sorry that neither option is at all appealing though. Maybe you could tell him how you're feeling about that briefly on the phone before picking a session and let him reassure you?

((Incognito))

Just want to echo the others here. My T has offered me a Saturday session before as well. As my T tells me all the time, she wouldn't offer something or do something for me if she didn't truly want to, so take the session and talk about whatever you want to. Don't feel pressured to make it "worth it," as I often do when my T extends herself like that. Even if you are silent the whole time, the act of accepting something like this is therapeutic in itself and well worth it!

((hugs))

Hi Incognito,
I just want to encourage you along with everyone else to take the appointment. I do not think your T will read anything into you taking the Sat appt. I have the most flexible job in the world and I'd have trouble making that switch on that short a notice. I think your T is handling this really well. These things occasionally happen, and he's done what he can to make sure that you are still getting what you need. But it's also understandable that based on your history, that you are having strong emotional reactions to the switch. Last minutes changes in your therapy schedule can often be disconcerting.

quote:

I wish it wasn't so difficult and I didn't care so much. I know that I shouldn't worry about what he offers because he knows his limits and boundaries but I do. The worst is I'll probably spend the whole session on either day on this mixup and how it makes me feel so why bother going. I won't get any of the other things that are bothering me talked about.

You know, one of the mistakes I think we often make in therapy is thinking that discussing our feelings about something the therapist has done is not working on our stuff. But the truth is that all of your reactions, being upset or hurt, being concerned what he'll think of you, etc are feelings you are having in the here and now and worth examining to learn about yourself. And they have the advantage of being in the moment. So if you go and talk about what was bothering you before the mixup or talk about the mixup, either way it won't be wasted time.

I also think it's important, especially before a break, that you see your T so that your understanding that this change wasn't about you nor did it say anything about your T's feelings for you can be reinforced. It really took me a lot of time and a lot of work to understand that my feelings about these types of disruptions were so much more about my past than about my present. And being able to experience something different now (as in your T's ability to recognize that something went wrong, apologize about it and work to meet your needs) is very healing.

AG

I did accept the saturday session. I called him to tell him I couldn't come at noon, cryed a lot, and told him why. I said I felt like I cared too much and would feel bad if he worked on a saturday and so would have trouble talking about anything else. He said exactly what you said. It was his mistake. He thought we should meet because I cared so much and it was so painful for me and we would talk about whatever I needed/wanted to talk about. He apologized, acknowledged the fact that taking next week off has left him busy and he made a mistake.

I guess the improvement over my past is I'm going instead of just saying I don't need to see you and agonizing alone.

Thanks everybody for your advice and comments.

Wow, great job and isn't it nice to see our own progress. I think we all sometimes forget that our Ts are human and make mistakes. We just take them personally. He sounds like a really good T and I'm sure that he can take care of himself. I hope tomorrow goes well.