((AH)) weren't you in the process of weaning off one medication to begin taking another recently?

Your description sounds a lot like I felt when I came off of my Prozac prescription many years ago. Have you started on the new med yet? Has it had time to come up to a good level in your sysste?

Jillann

Awwww, AH. I, too, seem to have lost any ability to remain stable -- walk a straight line, is the term I usually use. I really felt like I was making some measurable progress this week, and then, it's like it just blew up -- again.

I don't know how to regain that balance. I'm so glad that you are connecting with your T and I hope she can be a significant support to you.

I know my T is consistent and patient, but when I'm in this state, I think it's only a matter of time before he gives up on me. Just like everyone else before him.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice. But I can relate. Hang in there.

PW (aka outsider)

AH... I think Jill makes a great point about your medication. If you are weaning off your current meds and not yet on a new one then you are likely feeling not only emotionally off balance but chemically off balance which is not your fault at all.

Aside from that you suffered a trauma at the hands of your oldT. This is not to be taken lightly. You will need time to recover your balance in therapy. And, I'm sorry to say, it just takes time. Time does help heal. I have experienced a lot (and more) of what you describe after what happened with my oldT. And I didn't have the meds component to contend with.

It will get better, believe me. Try to hold onto that. Let the feelings come, understand where they are coming from and let them pass. Talk to your T about them. None of this is your fault. This is the nature of trauma as my T always reminds me.

And do your best to take care of yourself.

Hugs
TN

((((AH)))))

I think it can just be this way at times. I've certainly experienced similar - it does pass. Go really gently AH and perhaps try to coax your logical brain back from lunch with things like crossword puzzles, suduko or maths games on the computer (chose something hard enough to make you concentrate, but not so hard it is stressful).

Sapphire B

(((hollow))) Thank you, and I hope you start feeling better too, it is really hard to be in that place. Hostage to my mind is a perfect way to describe it. And you're right that when good things are triggering it feels like more than a person should have to take

(((jillann))) You are SO insightful about that, I don't know why I took that off my radar of things to consider... I think part of me has just wanted to discredit how much influence medication has played in my moods. I haven't finished my month of being off old med before can start new one. I'm scheduled to see P next week to start new one so I have a way to go unfortunately. Thinking of you and hope you're doing ok

(((PW))) I love your new name I'm sorry you can relate to feeling that way too, it is really hard to pull away from that state of mind when it's activated. As you said trusting T (and for me other usually trusted people) is hard as it gets. I had an interaction today with a friend that went poorly and I'm in huge fear that she'll leave me now and never come back Keep hanging in there too

(((TN))) Thank you for reminder about needing time from oldT, I'm needing to remembering that especially now I feel like a good way to describe myself now with that situation is like a little kid in the back seat who says 'are we there yet!?' with regards to forgetting oldT. It makes me wonder if the younger part of me keeps driving the intensity of impatience to heal. I'm thankful to know it gets better

(((S-B))) I'm also sorry you've felt this way too. You have some good suggestions about using more of the logic to balance things out. I saw T today and she similarly mentioned ideas to get the emotions calmed down awhile and distract from them essentially. Good ideas...

(((pengs))) You have wise words too, and thank you for reminding me that it wont always be this way. That's the part hardest to hold on to it feels like, the idea that it isn't eternity to hurt this much. I think having gone too fast with oldT made a big dent of damage and I keep falling into it. Thank you for the comforting words pengs

's to all, thank you


I've been going over that new Pete Walker book again and each time I go over it I keep connecting more things that are relevant and helpful. It's just going to take awhile longer for it all to sink in and become second nature to practice the self help techniques. T borrowed it today to read it though, and hopefully that will jump start things back in the right direction