Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.
6 replies

Everything's Connected

redtomatoredtomatoMember
Yes, it is. Everything IS connected.

What if we came to think of ourselves and describe ourselves and our world in terms of relationships? I'm not only speaking of interpersonal relationships - other kinds of relationships as well. We experience the world as a web of relationships.

My relationship with the bee buzzing outside in my garden is one in which the bee helps to nourish me. Bees cross-pollinate and I am able to enjoy fruits and vegetables. Part of my relationship might also include a fear of getting stung. I must balance my fear with the knowledge that our food system needs bees. How do I manage that?

My relationship with T is structured with rules - mainly time, money and method. It also uniquely mimics relationships with other significant people in my life. Is it, in essence, a pseudo-relationship? We hope not. Certainly we want this one special relationship to be real. This is the relationship in which we figure out relationships - the one with ourselves as well as with others.

If the times T is available conflict with, say, Zumba, I chose the relationship that is more important. Is it my mind or my body? And how are they related? Does my body affect my mind or vice versa? Perhaps all of our relationships are fluid with a give and take.

What is my relationship with my Prius? I maintain it, buy it fuel, and it transports me to T's office. When I get 53 MPG (as I did today), I feel satisfied that I probably drove twice as far on one gallon of gas as most other motorists. In doing that, I reduced the amount of fossil fuel I might have consumed which, in turn helps me breathe better air - along with the air I get from fruit trees that the bee pollinated. I am grateful that the car is reliable, especially on T-day, because it's important to me to make it to all of my T appointments.

What about my relationship with my clothes? Do they make me feel inferior or superior?

And my relationship with money? Shame or pride? A sense of confidence...or not?

What's my relationship with my body? Do I use it or abuse it?

What is my relationship with the sun? Warmth, light, vitamin D. These are all very good things to me. I watch its sunsets and sunrises and have an emotional response. Does the sun know that? I don't know.

What is my relationship with the woods behind my house? They are a playground and a schoolhouse. They give me shade and, yes, more good air. Their green color rests my eyes. My part of the relationship? I agree to let them grow, to not build a new garage that would require devastation to the forest. I agree not to use pesticides in my yard which would run into the woods and into the creek which the deer drink from and with whom I feel an emotional connection.

What is my relationship with myself, and how does that relationship affect the sun and the woods and my clothes and my car and money and bees and deer AND MY T?

What do I do in my life to nurture all of these relationships for my greater good? For the greater good of the world? The planet?
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

redtomatoredtomatoMember
(((Pengs))) and (((Draggers))) and thanks, HIC.

"Maybe to lose the sense of relatedness is to lose yourself?"

I think this is true. We exist in relationship. Without our relatedness, there is no reference point. In a way, our relationships are the outer limits of our boundaries.

"the more I can maintain this kind of consciousness, the healthier I feel"

How does this manifest for you, and in what way do you feel healthier?

-RT
heldincompassionheldincompassionMember
Hmm, those are good questions! It's really just beginning to manifest, so I'm groping for a way to articulate it that doesn't sound static and formulaic when what I mean is simply that I'm experiencing everything a little more seamlessly and fluidly, the world as an interconnected dynamic system rather than this dead thing I stand apart from (or over against) in self contained, self defining isolation.

It's a rejection of an "I think therefore I am" view of the world. Rather, the part of me that *is* is the the feeling, experiencing, sensing, loving core. Thinking and conceptualizing are just things I do from time to time.

A simple, but profound (for me) example is this image of I have of a tree. It's a live oak and a powerful symbol for me personally-- it represents growth, strength, life, and stability all at once.

I've had dreams about this tree. And I was thinking that I wouldn't even have this image if it weren't for the actual tree, the real tree, trees themselves. So there is a powerful connection, right there, between my psychological growth process and this living tree. I had to receive the physical image of the tree visually before the unconscious could make use of it symbolically.

I'm not sure if I'm conveying this very well, but it came to me as something of a relief-- a more visceral sense of connectedness in just this one area led me to noticing it more in other areas, and to feeling like my task is maybe more to notice and value things than to account for things and figure myself out-- let alone the whole universe-- in some detached kind of way.

It makes me feel healthier because otherwise I can get way too stuck inside my head, often it seems to very little purpose, and lose the sense of the immediate, and paradoxically myself along with it.

That's my best answer, anyway. I hope this makes some sort of sense. Smiler
redtomatoredtomatoMember
Draggers,

First, nonsense about you and thinking!

I, too, get that connection to nature. To both the beauties and the horrors. I see dead deer on the side of the road about twice a week and my insides cry with the brutal loss of those connections. The awe I feel in my backyard for the beautiful plants and flowers and noisy squirrels and birds will often connect me to myself and a deep stillness and acceptance, for the moment, at least. I realize that my behavior and choices lead me to these connections.

Perhaps for you it is hard to feel connected to the human race. I wonder if once you feel more connected to yourself, you will feel more connected to others.

-RT

Add Reply

Post

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×

Access to this requires a premium membership.

Be a Patron Member

Get psychotherapy help to make your therapy easier and better.



Yes, I've learned about all the benefits of being a Patron Member (Click here if you missed seeing them: Community Psychotherapy Help

Yes, I understand that...

1. I can do a 7 day free trial and my credit card will not be charged until that period is up.

2. I can cancel at any time before then and my card will not be charged.

3. That once my credit card is charged, there is no refund offered.

Have a special coupon?

4. If I'm using a coupon my receipt won't show the discounted amount (It'll show $7.95). However, I understand that it will go through as $2.95 when I am billed after the 7 day trial. (According to the current promotion, this discount applies to the first three months of my membership - and as long as I use the coupon in the checkout.)*

*Please note that after the 3 months, billing will revert to the regular monthly fee.
**The fee posted below is our standard billing fee (ie. using no coupon).

7-Day Free Trial, then $7.95 per Month (plus tax if applicable)
×