I also just remembered that i seem to absorb meaning more when i actually look at my T.
I think that when i look away I am not fully engaged and get distracted by things in his office. I think it's called "avoidance?'..something I'm very practiced at. It seems weird that you would pay a professional to help you and then purposely not listen to what they are telliing you?!

I feel so grateful that i met my T though and have such a great relationship with him. Even though he is a man (and me a woman) i have been able to trust him and have a lot of laughs with him. The relationship itself has helped heal a lot of my deep wounds and mistrust of men and i really feel love for him like a great friend or good family member. I don't think i have the guts to tell him this though....would anybody else tell him??

Oh! I love this article! Thank you for sharing, R2G.

I love staring at my T's eyes a lot of the time. It is rather intense and I feel so close to her when I do it. I notice when talking about sex or an uncomfortable issue, I will look away, down at the floor, watch the clock or glance around the room. I know when T is watching me and notices my anxious behaviors. During one session I was nervous about sharing this really cool insight and I was twisting my water bottle cap back and forth. As I was talking, I noticed that T looked at me and then made it very clear that she was watching my hands on the bottle and then looked up at me again. I immediately stopped the twisting and just sat still to finish my statement.

Had to comment Athenacus...I was messing with my water bottle trying to get the ring to line back up with the cap and she always looks at my hands as I'm moving them as I'm talking...time to put them down...glancing around the room. I can describe the walls and the way her books are on her shelf. If I looked at her too much it might be too connecting and lots of therapy withdrawals!

That's funny, hopeful, that you had a similar water bottle experience!

My T completely threw me this week by having her office rearranged and it made me a bit uncomfortable. I'm not as close to her now and I can't get in a lot of deep eye contact.

Eye contact for me is a lot easier now that I've talked about a lot of these issues multiple times already.

I've notieced, however, that my Ts have a difficult time with eye contact sometime and will look away if I gaze directly at them for a few seconds.

Scattered, Consider, and BLT -

Thank you for the giggle. My T has fabulous shoes. I can look at her, unless it gets intense for me, and then I just look look look at those shoes.