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6 replies

favorite caring things to do for yourself?

J janedoeMember
I had a session with my T today and it was tough, because of the subject matter. (I've been dealing with getting space from extended family members my T says are "mean" - and they are being that way right now.) During the session, I felt flooded with confusing emotions I couldn't even name, but my T sat with me and helped me ground and contain as much we could. I left and did ok... for awhile... I messed up later on. I used a bad coping skill when I was once again overwhelmed. sigh. It's been awhile since I have done this. However, instead of the "usual" shame and guilt and frustration I tend to feel, all I want is to be nice to myself. Instead of thinking, "I am the biggest freak, I hate me," I am thinking, "darn, I'm tired of meanness. I don't need anymore." I have this desire to actually be nice and kind to myself. (I know, I probably sound crazy, but this is new and so weird for me.) For whatever reason, my usual self-loathing is not coming up.

I am trying to think of things to be "nice" to myself. Perhaps good self care and comforting things. It's really hard to think of things, especially since I can't recall ever feeling so drawn towards just wanting to be kind to myself. Doing nice things for myself isn't changing the other overwhelming feelings much, but they are not getting any worse either - and that alone is a really good thing.

I'm curious... I'm wondering if anyone has any favorite self care or self comforting things they like to do?

I know I can feel a little comfort or care of myself by:

- wrapping up in heavy blankets
- drinking warm tea (on a cold day) or cool lemonade (on a warm day)
- long baths or showers
- a good night of sleep

hmmm...
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J jillMember
feeling the warmth of the sun on my body, a warm breeze. being outside. quiet time. falling into a great book. of course, mani/pedi. eating cereal. a warm bed with flannel sheets. comfy clothes. NEW clothes. candles. art. one day, i will paint. music, any kind, Christian, rock, classical, dance hall reggae a la shaggy, prayer, letting myself cry, alone. singing, a romp in the hay (!), chips and dip, a warm bath with bubbles, a silky underthing, cashmere next to my skin, a massage, stretching, a pounding workout, sleep, a cup of tea in the afternoon. kittens. snuggling with dh,

ah.

thanks for that thought, janedoe!! and i love heavy blankets, too...just being wrapped in a big sweater or a shawl...somehow makes me feel hugged, and warm, and hidden, and safe. mmmmm....

and kuddos to you and this new trend...may i latch on?? 50 years of beating myself up surely should come to an end. i like your direction! jill
S supermelMember
I have a special box for when I want to comfort myself. It has smelly markers and a colouring in book and a strawberry shortcake with long hair. The scents and the quiet focus needed for colouring in really work for me.

I think a comfort box works because opening and using it has to be a delibrate action and because its an individual thing, you KNOW you are caring just for yourself.

I'm sorry your extended family are mean. That sucks.

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