Summer,

Sounds like an anxiety attack. I'm so sorry that you have had to experience this pain. Once you get over the hump of today, it may be easier to let go, because the fact that it's done puts a type of closure on it.

I'm sure it hurts when you think about writing him, and then think that he didn't really want to hear how you feel, anyway. The only thing I can think is that he's quite ill or that his illness scared him so much that he can't connect with his clients right now or that his wife is ill. I hope that by this point you don't take it personally, because you can be guaranteed that it's not about you.

It must be extra difficult to have your T gone at this time, too. Are you going to continue seeing her?

I'm glad good things have been happening for you.

catgirl

Hi Summer,

It is totally understandable why today, especially, is hard. It has been a long road. It seems that your P's failure to return your calls before he disconnected his line was completely about him, and definitely did not consider your needs.

Since you do trust your T, maybe you could tell her directly how you felt belittled, and that your feelings were not validated. It seems like she has been a good support through working through the termination, and it might open up a thoughtful discussion for her to understand how you are grieving.

quote:

I don't know if I could start over with someone totally new - it would take a long, long time to develop the trust, if ever.

I totally get that! I tell my T all of the time that I could/would never start the process again. I have changed T's several times, and this is the first time I really genuinely built that trust. It is hard to imagine ever starting over.

whereamI