I hope this passes soon for you GG. You're not alone in feeling that way - I've definitely felt that way numerous times and it's just hideous.

One thing that helps me is reminding myself feelings are not facts. As much as it might truly truly FEEL that I'm a pathologically flawed so called human being, it DOES NOT mean I AM that way.

Gentle hugs GG if ok.

ElizaJ,

I am feeling better and I wanted to share. I contacted the Mothership today (this is what I named my old T from 12 years ago). It was so nice to connect with her and feel heard and understood. I am in a grateful place that I have her out there to touch base with from time to time when I am floating and feeling empty. I am coming to realize that I am terrified of feeling all the good things that my current T does for me. She is here. She has never wavered, she is steadfast in her committment to me and that shakes me to the core. After all I have done, and will all of my difficulties and emotions she is still here because she chooses to be. To think that anyone would make a free choice to be a part of me leaves me feeling speechless. I have been struggling against her, I am exhausted and I am trying to accept her "love" and the "love" and appreciation I have for her. Scarey stuff for me.

Is awesome you have yr old T to reach out to

Did you have a look at the blog I posted on your other thread?

ElizaJ,

Yes. I have been on it. It is awesome! Thank you. Yes having my old T out there brings me so much comfort. Our therapy time together is complete, but she is always there when/if I need a recharge or consultation.