((cherrymittens))

I'm so sorry things are hard between sessions It seems like the processing between sessions can be the hardest part of all. I'm wondering if you can discuss with your T that you are having such a rough time during the week, to see if the way things are left at the end of each session could be done more gently? Also maybe if there is an option to have some sort of contact with T during the week (check in phone call, email, text) if that may lessen the intense feelings? I know not all T's have that option, but might be worth looking into.

AH

Hi cherrymittens....I wanted to share with you that I can understand. What you describe is what I went through for quite some time.

For me....in session and right after I'd feel so let down because I wanted more from my T. Yet, it takes me a long time to trust.... Now we are close, have a good bond, good connection, I can ask for a hug if I need one and know I can ask for more if I need it too. I don't get emails texts and phone calls (she hasn't offered, I haven't asked, but for me, if I did, that would be too much for me....learning to live with 1-2 times a week sessions was a good thing for me). I won't lie, it took time. I also think I had the let down feelings because of transference....like she took the role of my mom and when I looked at her in session I just felt let down (by my mom). I'd not want to ask for more because my mom wouldn't have given it to me. One time my T talked about "reparenting," and about "transference," and other things. I'm probably all over the place with my reply to you, I just wanted you to know I understand. Many times I wanted to stop seeing my T, but when I thought about it, and brought it up to my T, it was so unbearable. Three years later I'm still there. She's still there. I love her and can't imagine right now going less than two times a month. I too take antidepressants and a mood stabilizer....although frequently changed (right now weaning off one and feeling SI again, its horrible).

I encourage you to talk to your T about the let down feelings and the feelings when you leave therapy....there's something to find out there, I would suppose. A reason you feel as you do.

Sometimes I would go into my car and just cry after a session. It was separation anxiety. After a while I could tell my T if felt like I was being pulled away from my mommy (I have/had mom issues from my childhood).

Here if you want to talk.

Ninn

My T. often reminds me that some of the toughest times of therapy work occurs outside of our sessions when I am alone, not with her, processing all that we have talked about, facing the attachment issues, separation anxiety, and wanting more of her. I have to agree and I completely understand your post.

I've benefited from your post and the responses because I have gone through something similar during my year in therapy and thought that it meant that I was unravelling.

I'd feel good in my sessions with my therapist, usually, and then start to feel an intense but undefined emotion a little after leaving. Then, about three days of going over the session, maybe writing a response, not sleeping, and in general feeling unhinged. Then, I'd reconstitute and by the time of my next session I'd be looking forward to it.

My therapist said that what I was doing was part of therapy, the work between sessions. But what I felt like I was doing was simply being a basket case a lot of the time.