(((R2G))) I know how hard it is to keep going when it feels like you've got nothing left to give. I get to that point too where even taking care of myself just feels like too much. If you can make it happen, just those basic things like good meals, good rest, relaxing activities (even a nice bath and some music), it can sometimes help me if I push through and just do those things...even if they are the very last things I want to do...even if I think I don't even deserve them. Lots of to you. I hope you hit a station or land at a port or whatever the preferred metaphor is and are able to restock soon. Remember to rely on those resources when you come across them. Safe relationships can be good places to refuel too.

My dear I don't have much to add at the moment, but I will tomorrow. I just wanted to say I was thinking of you, and heard you.

((((R2G)))) I'm sorry I can't offer anything right now. Just know you're not alone.

Hi R2G... I totally understand and I'm sorry you feel this way. I have to struggle through much of the same. I drag myself around all the time and I wonder if it will ever get easier.

If you are fine health wise (not anemic and eating reasonably balanced meals and getting enough sleep) then I would say that maybe you are going through a period of being dysthymic. I suffer from this along with my GAD. It's that low level depression the prevents you from feeling enthusiastic and full of life and that get up and go feeling. From my experience I feel sluggish, out of sorts, and just longing to hang out under the covers.

I'm not sure what to do about it. I would suggest talking to your T and asking her if she has any suggestions. And sometimes even just talking about it will help you to feel better.

Thinking of you
Hugs
TN

((((((R2G)))))

Thanks you guys... I haven't smiled outside of work since the school year started

(((Anon))) I've been meeting the basic needs, but just barely. Eating cereal for dinner at 9:45pm after a long day isn't the best choice, but it's better than not eating, which I would have chosen even 6 months ago. I am so exhausted even eating is tiring.

Thanks for the hugs (((Cat))) and (((Kashley))) I know you're both dealing with a lot right now, too, and appreciate the hugs.

Thanks for the hugs (((Dragonfly)))

I could probably google this, but... TN, do you know what is the difference between a dysthymic episode and depression? I do suffer from major depressive disorder, but I haven't been this down in a while The rest of my health is for the most part, good, though when I'm this exhausted and this stressed, sleep doesn't ever last long enough, and I never am able to sleep through the night without heavy sedation, which I can only take on weekends cause it leaves me groggy for a while in the morning. (((TN)))

Just yuck time right now. Can't get enough time with my T, and can't add in any extras because of my work schedule. Best way for me to refuel is time with T...

Thanks for the hugs (((MMM)))

Really everyone, I posted this last night in a depressive fog, and was so happily surprised to see any responses today! This place is awesome and you guys are the best!

R2G,

I strongly suggest you get treated for your depression
before it gets worse. The longer you wait, the more
difficult it is to treat.

Its possible you might have dysthymia under your major
depression. Its called double depression. The dysthymia is generally
more difficult to treat. I explained the difference a while back
but deleted my posts. However, this is a great website:
http://www.minddisorders.com/D...ymic-disorder.html#b
(no point in rewriting something already described so well).

I agree with TN about considering health issues like anemia. Hormones, sleep
disorders, and many other conditions can cause or contribute
to major depression. I have major depression too and only recently
found out about them. Simply relocating geographically revealed
these diagnoses. I suffer from the same symptons as you, and it does
get worse. After my experiences, I barely trust any doctor with their
diagnostic skills. Especially specialists who tend to see things
only from their narrow view of their specialty.

The most accurate diagnoses can be reached from the results of
psychoneurological testing, where a team of diagnosticians spend
4 to 8 hours testing you then evaluating the quantitative results.

Please believe me that it can get worse if you dont get
treated properly (and getting accurate dx). You end up in a spiral-
too sick to eat well and exercise and sleep properly, which makes you more ill.

Hopefully youve already had nutritional testing for any defeciencies.
Getting proper OBGYN care is very important too.
Infections can cause those symptoms too. Like Mono.

I waited too long for treatment and now am very weak,
spending a lot of time in bed. I had some lousy doctors
but also waited too long...

Hoping you get appropriate treatment too.
That is no way to live. Life can be so much
better. And dont we already suffer enough
from our upbringings??

Get better soon!!! ((((R2G))))

Thanks for the link and info xoxo. The link was very interesting to read. I had heard of dysthymia, but never realized that it could coexist with depression.

I am working with an amazing treatment team - therapist, nutritionist, psychiatrist, and general practitioner. They are the reason I am still here today at all and I and am so grateful for my team. I've been with my GP for nearly 12 years, and she knows me very well. Because I'm recovering from an ED, I see my GP monthly for a work-up and such.

I just want this funk to go away! It is exhausting being this exhausted. I know no one can fix it, but sheesh.... I can't go on like this much longer. You're right, though, our upbringings were hard, this can't be much harder, can it?

Maybe your psychiatrist could offer suggestions
to more aggressively treat your depression?

I do remember you said you had an excellent
care team. I think I could have been helped
more if i had a nutritionist. I wonder why
my insurance wont pay for those services?

This issue is very sensitive for me. I learned
the hard way that some doctors can have great
bedside manner but poor diagnostic skills...
and the other way around. And Im quite
upset about some of the things that were missed.
...but will spare your thread from further rant.

But i do tend to spread caution and awareness
to others if it could help another avoid
a similar fate. You never know.

Hope you keep taking good care of yourself...and keep
monitoring so that it doesnt escalate.
Im glad you are in good hands with those who care
for you!

hi r2g,
i'm sorry you've been feeling so low...
i know this feeling well and i know its hard to climb out of it... u just want to snap out of it, but its only gradually with little steps that you'll get to see light again.
if you have a lot going on in your life right now, is it possible to try to limit stress and responsibilities for a while as otherwise its just so much harder to recover.
maybe this is more me than what you're saying, but i've just looked up 'burn out' as i feel like i am on the edge of that right now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)

i dont know if this is helpful but i hope you start feeling better one little step at a time.



puppet

Thanks (((xoxo))) My insurance doesn't pay for my nutritionist either, but she's been instrumental in my recovery, so it's worth the sacrifice of paying out of pocket. This is a sensitive subject, I understand that, and appreciate your cautionary words. You are so right - you never know, and if your words help one other person escape the pain, all the better.

(((puppet))) I hadn't thought of burn out, since this has lasted several months, it just seems to be worse right not cause of exhaustion?

I have had a very lazy 3-day weekend, which is exactly what I needed. But I still don't feel any better, and I still feel exhausted and lethargic. I see T in a little while, and hope that adds some lightness back into my system? I'm tired of being tired, and I'm sure T is tired of me being tired, too. I know she doesn't like it when I feel this way any more than I do. This is only the start of the 3rd week of school, and as much as I love my students, I'm already looking forward to summer when I can sleep all day There is something really wrong with that.