Hi RAD - I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I do know how awful that feeling is. I wouldn't be too hard on your friend, he probably doesn't understand how bad you are feeling. Sometimes we have to really tell people how bad we feel.

I can understand the pressure you are under. Sounds like you are in school? Have you spoken with anyone on campus? Maybe a counselor? Sometimes just letting others know how stressed we are makes us feel a little better.

I encourage you to talk here and let the loving people from this site help you through. They are a wonderful group of support friends.

Hang in there ok?

Hi Runawaydarkness,
Welcome to the forums, I am really glad that you've reached out here for support. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain and having difficulty getting anyone to hear that you are. I very much agree with Smiley. If you are in college, there will more than likely be a free counseling service (they usually provide up to at least 10 free sessions) where you can talk to someone who will really listen to you and be able to provide you some support and resources. Reaching out here is also a good place to get support. I would also recommend looking at the Crisis Resources forum which provides info on a lot of places that you can call if you need to talk to someone immediately.

If you wish to talk in more detail about your feelings but would feel safer not being on open forum, we have a Sensitive Issues forum that provides a private place to discuss feelings. You have to ask permission to post or read there (everyone gets in!) so what you post is private and everyone who posts there has indicated that they are willing to talk about the feelings. If you want access, just send me a private message and I can set up your access.

BTW, I added a trigger warning to your post which I do NOT want you to feel bad about, I am VERY glad you posted. We just usually post a warning at the beginning of posts if we're going to talk about subjects that we suspect may be difficult for other members. But being new, there was no way for you to know this.

Really glad that you're here!

AG

Hello and welcome
I just wanted to add to what AG and Smiley said in their replies, it is sometimes hard even for friends to realise and accept that we have these very dark feelings where we reach the stage you are at. The hardest step is to tell someone that is there someone at school you can tell or even ring a crisis helpline where you can talk to someone who will not judge you feeling like this and someone that you do not even have to face in person. Give it a try I know it might seem impossible to do, but you have reached out by posting here. There are many of us here who have been where you are right now, hang in there, and keep posting here - the people are good hear and willing to listen as well. Glad you made it as far as posting here - that's a good thing to have done

((RAD)) - I am feeling very similar feelings to yours lately. I have some close friends and no matter how much I try I can't talk about my deep dark thoughts. I talk about them here and I talk about them to my therapist. Now that I have someone to air them with, I am feeling less likely to act on anything.

I really recommend talking to a counsellor - any professional who can listen without judgement and to provide you with some support.

I can reply here right?

I just want to thank all of you above. I kind of didn't expect I would get a warm response. I was so happy and surprised and touched when I logged on to see there are replies! I'm really really thankful.
I'm definitely feeling better now. My bestfriend apparently sense something is wrong with my tone and he did comfort me. I'm so grateful.
I will get better. thank you!! )

I'm glad you're feeling better. I do hope you will look into some of the things suggested here - or at least keep talking here.

Hi Runawaydarkness,
I feel you pain and I've been in your shoes. Anyone with your level of pain and stress would want to get away. However, I pray that you will stay in touch with that part of you that knows there is some reason to hang on longer. I strongly encourage you to contact a crisis line if you can't see a counselor. Crisis lines can be helpful because they listen and they can help redirect your dark thoughts and help you see where your own thinking is distorted. I have no doubt that there is more for you to give this world, even if it is to share with others your journey to get through the suffering you are feeling right now. Lots of love NobleDaughter

Hi RAD

I'm glad you decided to post here and I think Smiley and the others have given you some very good suggestions. I would also endorse looking into seeing a counselor at school. I think you need someone to talk to aside from your best friend (which is also good to do). The reason is that this counselor will make this all about you and will be totally open to hearing you and helping you.

Crisis lines are another good option to get you through those dark times when you feel alone. And don't forget to keep posting here with us. We can offer support and understanding and the safety of talking about anything you feel you want to.

Take care
TN