I am finally seeing my P this week
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Summer... I've been buried in homework tonight and had no time to write anything long. But I wanted to wish you luck tomorrow with your session. Stay strong and be open and honest. I hope you find some peace and also some answers that you can live with... whatever they are. I will be thinking of you.
Please let us know how it goes.
TN
Please let us know how it goes.
TN
Summer,
I'm sorry you're facing this and although nothing I think HB said the most important things (and so lyrically and with such truth that it was like listening to a symphony by Beethoven and Mozart combined, HB!) I did want to point out one more thing.
The point of therapy isn't that we figure out how to avoid any pain in relationships or become capable of finding a person who will NEVER hurt us. That's impossible because we have to have our relationships with other humans.
What we need to do is to handle the loss and pain when they inevitably occur. To understand that we have the strength to get through those times. The betrayal and neglect of our childhood did a lot of damage but probably the most severe was that we were not taught what we needed to know to handle our emotions as we reacted to our life. We will face loss, every relationship eventually ends, one way or the other. But what you have had with your T, what you have learned from him, provide you with the resources you need to face this ending. You are stronger than you know. And with your T you have a chance to face a loss where it will be ok for you to express all your feelings. Your pain, your sadness, your anger, your disappointment, your joy in what you have gained. Try not to hold back or to worry about hurting him, this is also his chance to do for you what he does best which is to be your T.
And do not for a second believe he does this casually. He understands how important the boundaries are and it is NOT your problem to handle his emotions but he sounds like an amazing T and I can't believe that this decision has been anything but painful for him.
Please let us know how it goes, and know that no matter how you're feeling, we want to hear about it.
AG
I'm sorry you're facing this and although nothing I think HB said the most important things (and so lyrically and with such truth that it was like listening to a symphony by Beethoven and Mozart combined, HB!) I did want to point out one more thing.
The point of therapy isn't that we figure out how to avoid any pain in relationships or become capable of finding a person who will NEVER hurt us. That's impossible because we have to have our relationships with other humans.
What we need to do is to handle the loss and pain when they inevitably occur. To understand that we have the strength to get through those times. The betrayal and neglect of our childhood did a lot of damage but probably the most severe was that we were not taught what we needed to know to handle our emotions as we reacted to our life. We will face loss, every relationship eventually ends, one way or the other. But what you have had with your T, what you have learned from him, provide you with the resources you need to face this ending. You are stronger than you know. And with your T you have a chance to face a loss where it will be ok for you to express all your feelings. Your pain, your sadness, your anger, your disappointment, your joy in what you have gained. Try not to hold back or to worry about hurting him, this is also his chance to do for you what he does best which is to be your T.
And do not for a second believe he does this casually. He understands how important the boundaries are and it is NOT your problem to handle his emotions but he sounds like an amazing T and I can't believe that this decision has been anything but painful for him.
Please let us know how it goes, and know that no matter how you're feeling, we want to hear about it.
AG