Hey DF, thanks for the reply.

I barely know this professor, which is both good and bad I guess. The good thing is, once I'm done with the semester, I will probably never see her again (this is just one of those classes I'm required to take before I graduate, part of the general ed requirements). The bad thing is..I'd be telling her something that literally only two other people know about, and it took me months to tell them (one of my really good friends and my T). And I'd also be so self-conscious throughout the rest of the semester, knowing that she knows this intimate detail about me that I really don't want her to know.

I think part of me is also thinking that if I go and tell this teacher that I hardly know that I have an ED, then it means I'm only making it up (the ED) to get attention. Ha. And I honestly took this class over another one thinking that this one would have less focus on me individually as far as this stuff goes. Go figure!

I don't have the class again until Monday..so I have until then to decide. We're doing another lab then that may be even harder than today's was - and I felt really triggered today. I just can't figure out what's worse, dealing with being pretty triggered now or feeling slightly less triggered throughout the semester (but triggered nonetheless).

Thanks, DF. ((hugs)) It's always great to hear from you.

((((KASHLEY))))

That sounds really difficult and it makes me really mad that this prof is putting you through this. I can see why you wouldn't want to tell your prof what your reasons are for not wanting to do the labs. What kind of measurements is she having you take? Only share this if you want to. Even people without eating disorders have body issues and it seems to me that a lot of people would feel uncomfortable having a classmate measure them. Does this woman have rocks in her head? She doesn't seem to have a clue that this is very difficult assignment in general or she just doesn't care.

I have an idea. Tell her that the whole class gets to measure her and maybe she'll get a clue.

((((KASHLEY))))

Hope I didn't make things worse for you. Just in touch with my anger today.

xoxo

Liese

quote:

Even people without eating disorders have body issues and it seems to me that a lot of people would feel uncomfortable having a classmate measure them. Does this woman have rocks in her head?

Yeah, when I first read, I was thinking a slightly less angry version of this. More just baffled by such an assignment.

I don't have ED, but am a feast or famine sort of person and do have eating issues tied to my emotions. I will get debilitatingly depressed, such that I can barely eat for days, or just go the opposite direction. A class like that would probably trigger one of those cycles in me. (((Kashley))) I don't know what I would do, personally. On the one hand, she should know that it's triggering (and could be for more than just you). On the other hand, my desire to not be noticed by my teacher or the students might convince me to push through. Such a tough one. I'm glad you have until Monday, at least. I'm sorry I'm not more help and also hope I haven't said anything triggering.

quote:

I have an idea. Tell her that the whole class gets to measure her and maybe she'll get a clue.

Good one Liese!...just dropping in for a few minutes this morning and saw this, Kashley. It seems like a really inappropriate assignment to me, too. Measuring someone else's body requires a lot of touching from strangers, and is generally a personal thing- for one thing, and that would make me really uncomfortable, not to mention worrying about the judgements of others! I would just ask her for alternative assignment, you could tell her that you will not be able to be in class that day or something like that. Or just say that it makes you uncomfortable and could you do something else. You needn't tell her about your ED...that is far too personal to share with a stranger who you do not particularly trust. Personally, I would just say I'm not able to be there that day. How large of a percentage is this assignment to your overall grade, would you say?

(((((Kashley))))))

I'm sorry that this is so triggering and hard for you, sweetie-

BB

((Liese)) ((Yaku)) ((Beebs))

Thanks you guys for your support. Sorry it's taken me a little while to get back to this thread.

I get the feeling from my professor that these kinds of things (the measurements) are just so commonplace for her that it doesn't occur to her how uncomfortable it can be. She works in this "human performance" lab and does this kind of thing all the time, and in that lab they get all of our university's athletes who come in for performance testing and such.

Right now, we've done kind of benign stuff like weighing, but we also did a waist circumference measurement. The lab coming up on Monday that really spurred me to think about talking to her is one where we will be doing skin folds. Like, of the stomach. Talk about triggering. I mean, seriously? I don't understand how she can treat it so nonchalantly when this literally makes me want to break down. I've had a lot of ED-type backlash the past couple days, and I know a lot of it is because of this.

I just glanced at the syllabus to see the upcoming labs and saw a note next to the skin fold lab (on Monday) to wear shorts and a t-shirt, which obviously means we'll be measuring more than I thought. I can't handle this. There's no way I can go to that class. I'm already going to be missing Wednesday because I'm taking the GRE, but I don't really care at this point.

Anyway, sorry about this drama and freaking out. I know I should just suck it up and tell her since it's affecting me this much, but I'm SO BEYOND uncomfortable doing that. Still on the fence here..

Thanks everyone for the support. ((hugs))

(((kashley))) Skin folds? Seriously? That is unbelievable and I am so angry. I wouldn't be able to go either. I went shopping (needed new clothes) today and that nearly gives me a breakdown every time. I hope you do feel safe to say something to her, but if you don't, maybe put something on the end of semester survey or send an anonymous email to a department head or administrator? I'm sorry it's so triggering with ED stuff. I think a lot of people would have a really hard time with this and I'm surprised no one has brought this up to her before.

(((((KASHLEY)))))

You aren't being dramatic. It's such a wierd assignment, IMO. I guess they have to teach you how to take these measurements, but can't they figure out another way to do it? I would freak out just being asked to wear shorts. I haven't worn shorts in a really long time.

I like BG's suggestion of emailing her. Maybe she can meet privately with you and you can measure her skin folds and then at least you would have the experience of doing it.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

(((HUGS)))

Liese

I would send an email to the professor and ask if you can be excused from that part of the class. I would think they would be understanding. I had something similar happen about 15 years ago and I spoke with the instructor who was very compassionate and understanding.

Oh dear kashley... I took a handful of physiology classes in college, and even one where we did tests on each other in the class, but we got to pick which week we were the subjects (I picked the week where we did the effects of caffiene) and the proff was quite understanding about anyone needing to bow out of any sections measurements for "personal or health reasons." She was quite adamant that people were only "subjects" when they felt comfortable to be measured and in ways they were comfortable with... and none of the tests were quite as personal as measuring body composition levels.

And a health and fitness instructor at a college should be all the more aware and sensitive. This is just wrong to have students measure each other like this... (sorry the former college health intern is coming out in me.)

So many college women have EDs and body image issues... althetes and non-althetes alike! She should be aware of stuff like this, and sensitive to it. Not having students measuring each other, EDs or not, this just is really not ok.

It must be quite common place for her, but that does not take away the need for professor to be aware and sensitive about stuff like this. I bet you are for sure not the first student who has struggled with this... I do think you should say something, especially with the GRE coming up this week - you don't need to have more triggers. You shouldn't have to get into the ED stuff to tell her this is too much to do.

Maybe you can just email her to say you are too uncomfortable/unable for personal health reasons to continue the measurements in class and need to/would be glad to do an alternative assignment...?

I hope the ED stuff calms down for you soon... I'm so sorry this came up with this rather unaware proff having college students measure themselves like this... my goodness!

hugs to you,
jd

(((To all)))

I keep swaying back and forth on what I want to do, how I want to deal with this, but one way or another I'm going to talk to her because I just can't deal with what she's asking us to do.

Yeah, with the GRE on Wednesday and multiple other exams this week on top of everything else going on lately, I think I'm developing an ulcer.

Thanks for the support, everyone. Your input has really helped me out in this situation.

(((kashley))) Will be sending good thoughts and prayers your way tomorrow and all this week!

(((((KASHLEY))))

Wondering how it all turned out for you. Hoping you were able to get out of the assignment somehow.

(((((HUGS)))))

Liese

Hey Liese, thanks. Sorry I haven't updated this thread. I ended up deciding not to share knowledge of my ED with this prof. I just felt too uncomfortable doing it. But I did end up just skipping class on Monday (I'm doing the assignment at home and may just come up with numbers for some stuff to not get too triggered). I had the GRE yesterday and missed again, so I think I managed to get out of the most triggering stuff. There's other stuff in this class that is triggering that I'm not looking forward to, but the worst is over.

It probably would have been fine telling her and I wouldn't have had to skip class, but I just couldn't make myself do it.

Thanks for the support, Liese. ((hugs))

(((KASHLEY))))

I'm a big fan of not forching myself to do things that are just too uncomfortable so three cheers to you for taking care of yourself first even if you didn't speak to the prof about it. I hope the GRE went well. I've heard it's a hard test!!

xoxo

Liese

Ihope you grad exams went well, Kashley...so proud of you for sticking with it! And I think it's great that you made a choice that would keep you safer and just didn't go...good for you. I hope that the rest of the class ends up not being too triggery- you are being real strong, and careful, good for you!

Fingers crossed, that you got excellent grades on the GRE...(as I am certain you did!)

((Liese)) ((Beebs))

Thank you both. We'll see how class is next week. The GRE went alright - I didn't do quite as well as I hoped, but the scoring is a little screwy right now because they just changed the test and the method of scoring as well. I won't get my "true" scores until November. It makes it so hard to know what schools to apply to!

Anyway, just glad the general test is done. I take the psychology subject test in November, so I'm taking about a week off before I start studying again.

Thanks guys - all of your support on this has really helped me because I really thought I was overreacting to the stuff in this class. Also, thanks for the support on my decision. I've been berating myself for not using this as an opportunity to..I don't know..do something "therapeutic," but I guess I'm just not up for that yet.

Kashley,

You did do something theraputic, you practiced really good self care. You were aware of your feelings of feeling threatened and being vulnerable which means you were courageous enough to stay with them long enough to identify them. And then you moved beyond condemning yourself for having those feelings into recognizing that you had a right to be safe and then you kept yourself safe. You also recognized your right to how much information you provide someone about you, you have a right to your privacy. So that's progress.

There may come a day when you decide that facing something like this head on is a better course, but for right now, I think you should give yourself credit for so much that you did right.

AG

Thanks, AG. Yes, I suppose this is true...although I have trouble admitting it. The past few months I have noticed that I'm a little more able to articulate what I feel. That is, when I'm feeling something; I still feel numb most of the time, but it's better. And another thing I had totally forgotten about until recently was how much I used to smile when talking about things I really shouldn't smile about. That's gotten better, too. For the most part at least, because the thing that reminded me about it was realizing after my last session that I was smiling during the session at times when I shouldn't have!

Anyway, thanks. After 3 years of therapy, I would have hoped there'd be SOMETHING that improved!

((DF)) Thank you, DF. I'm sorry your ED has been so hard lately.