I found out a couple of days ago that my sister has breast cancer. But now today found out that it is an uncommon type called invasive lobular carcinoma (ilc)
I feel so sad! I have lost a lot of important people to me lately. I am in a place that has left me a scared shell. I mean I am racked with fear on a minute by minute basis all too aware of my own mortality. My T keeps asking me how old do I feel etc. I keep saying that it's the present that is freaking me out not the past. But after a while I took her ideas into consideration and decided to appeal to my inner parent. That did seem to help a little. I am looking for any little thing to help decrease this escalating fear. My heart is always racing and my body functions are all revved up. I feel like the world is going to come to an end at any moment. I do the worst thing possible and that is to lay in bed whenever possible. This is not helping. It is only contributing to my fear. I feel like I am crawling into my coffin when I go to bed now. Just because it is so depressing. Not beacus I plan to die or anything (Just to be clear)
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And that you are struggling so much. I wish I had something helpful to say, or do, but all I can do is give you a cyber hug and let you know that I am sorry for what you are suffering through.
