Sadly,

I think the first step in managing it is recognizing that you are doing it. Transference is a powerful emotion, but fear not, my friend...you can and you WILL get a grip on this. Remember that your P is just a person....with flaws who's shit stinks just like the rest of us.

Hang in there.
LG

Sadly,

It IS hard. For sure. It can be so confusing, but it can also be a powerful place to do some really healing work. If your T understands what is happening and you understand it as well it can be worked with in a really constructive way. I think that it is vital to let your T know anytime that you are having these feelings. Even as strong as the feelings can get, if you can keep somewhere in your mind that thought that your T isn't the enemy and is trying to help you then you can work with the feelings and process through them.

I have this issue with my T and I know that the most important thing has been to let her know immediately when it starts to happen so we can work through it and have T feel like T and like she's on my side. The more I try to fight it and hide from it the worse it gets.

Thanks LG - yes, it helps to recognise and thanks STRM = I did tell him today and he said that he already really appreciates that I keep trying to be really transparent even when I am telling him that I am experiencing transference but don't know who it is, and also that I tell him I am hiding something because I am too scared to tell it yet. He was sweet and kind about it, as usual. Infact we talked a lot about my fears that he will end me before I am ready and he explained the limitations of the NHS and we are going to work out where we both stand on this, when I see him next Friday, New Years Eve. It is SO odd seeing him Xmas EVE and New Years Eve, it is like he is part of the celebrations.
I said I would prefer not to get in deep and really become vulnerable in this, if he was just going to pull out. He looked up his notes and said that he offered once every two weeks for a year only. He asked me if i could work with that. I could not answer. I just felt that I could not admit to how bad it is right now, how I find even a week gap very hard. So I sat and tried to work out WHAT to say, and in the end I found I was just crying. He asked me to say what I was thnking and so I said that I do not want to admit that i am finding a week gap hard, I would prefer to say that I could cope with a fortnight. He said if we were working at that level, we would have to work out what I would do, if he got ill or was off sick = he understood how deep and painful the place of dependence and attachment is.