Summer,
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I can't even imagine ending therapy with someone in this way.

You have every right to be angry . If he has health issues, or if his family member has health issues, he should be upfront about it. He doesn't have to get into detail, just be open so that you, and his other clients, don't have to go through this bombardment of feelings about not knowing and wondering if somehow you did something wrong, etc. If he's too sick to call or something, he should have someone do it for him. It's just strange. Due to the bizareness of the situation, it leads me to think that there's something extraordinary going on. Something somehow out of his control. Still, he owes you some sort of closure.

It's not weird at all for you to try to save his voicemails permanently. I've wished I could do that numerous times. Sometimes I call and ask my T to leave me an encouraging message just so that I have it to listen to over and over. When it disappears into the voicemail system, I call her again and ask for another one.

It is a loss. You are grieving a loss. You will likely go through the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. It's okay to be angry. It's part of the process.

If you want to write a letter, do it for yourself not for him. If you want to send it, do it because you want to, not for him. Whether or not you write a letter is okay. What matters is that you follow your heart and do what you feel that you need to do.

I hope I'm making sense here!

Hugs to you!

quote:

Originally posted by Summer:
but if he wants closure, which it is his ethical duty to provide...

Summer,

I'm certainly no expert on the ethics of therapy, but it seems at the very least to be incredibly insensitive and irresponsible to drop a patient over the phone and without a very definite last meeting scheduled. Also, did he make a recommendation for a new therapist?

From what you've said, I think you have every right to be really angry about this situation, regardless of how it turns out or what you end up doing about it.

I sure wish I had some advice for you, but I'd be at a loss as to what to do, too, other than finding a new therapist and start working through this terrible experience.

Please keep us informed.

Russ

quote:

If you want to write a letter, do it for yourself not for him. If you want to send it, do it because you want to, not for him. Whether or not you write a letter is okay. What matters is that you follow your heart and do what you feel that you need to do.

I agree with catgirl, couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think you owe him anything. I wish he would at least give you an explanation and at the very least, give you the names of other Ts who might be good for you.

OW