getting better is like lifting weights?

janedoeMember

My T and I were having a coversation recenlty about the big goals of therapy and where I am at. I have found this to be a scary topic to approach ever since everything completely fell apart with my old T. I'm not sure why it scares me to talk about this now. I think I have such a huge sense of failure that haunts me about my old T...

The T I have now and I were talking about how hard I am working, and about improvements and setbacks... She said the setbacks are getting fewer and smaller, but will always be a part of the process. She reminded me to have some grace for myself. I asked her, a bit frustrated with myself, "when does it get easier? this path, this trying to get better, trying to do life better, when does anything get any easier?"

she told me "Sometimes it gets easier, and life does get better, but overall, it's is a lot like lifting weights. It doesn't really get easier, the weights get heavier."

oh.

I think she might be right.

Sometimes I can do more and handle life and relationships much better, and then there is more to deal with. The next mountain comes my way and I'm still totally exhuasted from sumnmiting the ant hill I just got over.

That's just my experience so far. But I've been through a lot and messed up a lot of things... so I have a pretty mixed up perspective right now.

What do you think? Does it get easier? Is it like lifting weights?

6/28/105:32 PM

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kashleyMember

Hi JD,

I may be way off the mark with this one, but I'm not sure if the weights necessarily get heavier. Or that they feel heavier, rather. I think the weights may seem really heavy in the beginning, but as you gain muscle, you can lift them better and easier. Then I think it gets to a point where you see this big number on the weights and you anticipate having a really hard time, but since you've gained muscle, once you actually lift the weights you find it is easier. You know the best way to lift them without getting hurt, and you know how much to push yourself. Eventually I imagine that even though that number on the weights might be big, you know you can handle it.

All hypothetical for me, of course, considering I'm still staring at the weights sitting on the ground.

6/28/106:36 PM

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starfishMember

kashley, DF

Thanks for the positivity of your posts they've given me a different perspective. My mountain seems very big and black still and I sometimes wonder if I am really tough enough to get all the way to the top, but I can't turn back now and I can't stay put, wobbling on the ledge either. But I love the idea of pitching a tent DF, giving ourselves permission to stop and rest and reflect a while, but keeping sheltered at the same time...maybe that's what I need to do more, rather than constantly pushing myself and getting frustrated when I don't get to the summit every time.

I agree janedoe, that goals can be scary. I think my T would say that if they are scary then I am setting my goals too high for now and need to make them smaller and more attainable; it's just that the bigger goals are always waiting aren't they?

starfish

6/29/102:21 PM

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blackbirdMember

quote:
But I love the idea of pitching a tent DF, giving ourselves permission to stop and rest and reflect a while, but keeping sheltered at the same time...maybe that's what I need to do more, rather than constantly pushing myself and getting frustrated when I don't get to the summit every time.

Amen, Starfish...that seems very wise DF!

JD, I would feel awful if I thought it would never get easier. Personally, I think we will always go through times when things will be difficult, yes, but we will also have many of the times that are easier and less strenuous. Human beings need times of rest, recovery and regrowth, and that is no wrong, but it's those times we wait for and hope for, in fact! Then, after such times, we may begin again to push to a new level of growth, when we are ready and able again. Does this make any sense?
I also like this, Kashley:

quote:
Then I think it gets to a point where you see this big number on the weights and you anticipate having a really hard time, but since you've gained muscle, once you actually lift the weights you find it is easier.

and it is realistic, that is actually the way it happens, doesn't it often?

BB

6/30/108:39 AM

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