He was extraordinarily gracious about it. The best part was when he read the card, he kept reacting to things I wrote in a very visceral way. It was like you could watch each thing hit him. When he finished reading it, he was very choked up and a little misty eyed and he told me it was very moving. That he would want to read again more slowly because each line had its own story and was another step in our journey together. By now, I was grinning like an idiot.
Then he opened the actual cross stitch and his reaction was priceless. He read it and totally cracked up (the quote in the middle of the piece was my signature line, which I KNEW he would love.) He told me he was really overhwhelmed. I told him that if he was a cross stitch piece, that's what he would look like and explained why I used what I did in the piece. Then I told him that the weird thing was that as much as I made the piece about him, when I picked it up from the framer's I realized how much of me was in it. The the piece really represented our relationship. He told me that his job is to keep me very much in mind, so when I look at him I should see myself in him. He really seemed geniuinely pleased and very moved that I had made it for him. He talked about using art and creativity to express things that are so hard to put into words.
Then of course, since he's a T, he put down the gift and card and asked me what it was like to give him the gift and how I felt about it. We spent the rest of the session discussing it and it was all wonderful. I was able to tell him that it was really important for me to be able to express my thanks and have him receive it so graciously. That often when I thought of therapy, I think of being able to express anger, sadness, and hurt but it's also about being able to express joy, happiness and gratitude.
He told me that it really meant alot to him to hear this back from me, that it helped him to feel confident about the work he was doing with his clients. It feels so strange that after struggling so long with feeling like the relationship wasn't real and couldn't be trusted, to now KNOW that it's very real and incredibly deep, and can absolutely be trusted. I like it. We talked about how unique the theraputic relationship is and that most people really couldn't understand it, that unless you had been through it, it's hard to get.
I pretty much felt like I was a helium balloon for the rest of the day, kind of floating along a few feet off the ground. Not only did he like and accept the gift but he understood everything I was trying to say. Such an incredible gift to be accepted and understood. I really am so grateful for the healing I've been able to do and that I was led to him so that I could heal. And yes, I'm still grinning like an idiot.
AG
