Your T may want some or have clients who do! I know my T has asked if I wanted something someone had asked if she knew anyone needed. T gives me lemons when her tree overflows. Sharing food plants I think is pretty normal! Lots of people at my work do.

(((CD)))

My chives died last year so I bought a new plant. I split it into two and gave half to T. Later on, I decided it symbolized the separation process when one becomes two.

He seemed to like it.

My oldT actually gave ME tomato plants one year. I thought it was nice. Maybe it was because I always gave him some of my home made tomato sauce.

I gave my current T a small plant of Rosemary. It was a cutting from my plant which was started from a cutting from Italy and it was special to me. He nurtured it all winter (we had a brutal one)keeping it indoors. He recently told me that he took it outside and planted it. I like that he has a piece of my plant growing in his backyard. It's a nice feeling.

I think you should go ahead and gift it. It's a gift from nature and you didn't spend a lot of money on it and it's appropriate.

TN

CD, I was thinking of doing this with my T but I am kind of chicken. Mine are pepper plants that grew from the seed my grandparents brought over from Italy when they came to America early in the 1900's. My aunt who is 102 taught me how to save the seeds and grow more. She actually still gardens, with a little help though. T knows I do this but I feel weird about giving her some. I know she does garden.

Maybe I will think more about this. Hey, if you do give your T some, please post that and maybe that will give me some courage to do it too.

y'all ...
y'all are so supportive and cute. had T today and i didn't bring the tomato plants in ... chickened out, Becca, sorry don't look for inspiration here
BUT it was a really good session where i felt alot of support from him and did bring some difficult things up that i've been meaning to for a long time. it was a very connecting session and i appreciate the man even more, if that were possible. someday i will get the nerve to gift him something. God knows i appreciate the man. i do find it extremely interesting how some people don't think twice about this kind of thing, and for others it's nearly either unthinkable or paralyzing to think about actually giving something to T. i wonder about the psychology behind that.

anyway, thanks all for your support, i LOVE it! i love you all, really. thanks for sharing your experiences and encouragement

one of my T's and I have exchanged various vegetable seeds that we have both collected, sunflower seeds etc. We also exchange photos of things we like in our garden.

With my main T we talk about our vegetable and herb gardens and exchange photos. I have offered her some seedlings that I grew and didn't need but she declined and that was ok.

I think it is a great thing as long as we can take the disappointment of hearing "no" if they don't want things.

SD

i think that's neat that you have exchanged seeds and do exchange photos, SD. you're right, it's all about the possibility of the "no", or wondering if T will think i'm trying to get too close, or for some reason i just feel too weird about it. my brain knows this is silly and it's just not a big deal, but feelings get all wonked and weird and i over-think and then chicken out.

the session before last, T did share some photos he took on his phone of an eagle and some deer. i really felt touched that he did that and i kind of think that might have been a turn of the page as far as my therapy is concerned. he took them during his daily walk in the woods and it made me feel like he's not afraid to share with me this quiet part of his life.

thanks for sharing your gifting experiences, SD.

My T has given me plants from her garden and I regularly supply her with tomatoes, peppers, chillis, and all sorts of veggies from my garden. I have too much for us and tend to give surplus to my friends, so it seems an ok thing to do to give her some. She seems to really appreciates it too

Big breath, be brave - you might be surprised

fishy

I'm a member at two different CSAs. Every week I get a share of vegetables. Depending on the harvest, sometimes it's really more than we can eat or put up. So I've taken some of it in to 2 different T's. A pound of spinach, quart of sugar snap peas, bok choy, radishes, eggplant. Whatever I've got too much of.

First T accepted it, a little hesitantly at first, but then hungrily later. I also once made her lunch, (PB&J, carrots and fruit) when I called and asked if she could fit me in for an extra session. She said she'd see me over lunch if I brought her something to eat.

The second T wanted to refuse, but we talked about it and she finally accepted it. Then she started eating sugar snap peas during session!

The CSAs have just started the season and already I have more radishes than I need. I'm actually planning to talk with T about it on Tuesday.

So . . .

(((fishy))) and (((RT))) thanks for the encouragement. since i only see him monthly, i'm afraid it's too late to gift him with a tomato plant, but i can certainly share the harvest!

Yeah - the lunch thing was a bit weird.

So, I asked T today if she likes vegetables, and she said yes. Then I asked if I could give her some over the summer. She said, "Your vegetables?" And I said, "Well, they're the vegetables I get from the CSAs I belong to." I told her that we get way more produce than we can eat, so I would like to share some of the "bounty" (as the farmers like to say) with her.

She noted that this was a boundary crossing and said that she appreciated me asking. I told her that yes, I knew it was a crossing and that's why I asked before I brought anything. She thanked me for that. We agreed it would be okay. Would it have been different if I had grown them myself? Maybe. I don't know. I think it would certainly have a different meaning.

-RT

Tomorrow the vegetables for T will include: scallions, 1 spring onion, Swiss Chard, broccoli raab, a head of red leaf lettuce, small bunch of white turnips.

T said that she felt really healthy eating what I brought her last week. So, you see, I'm really just looking after my own interests.

Today in session we talked about the produce. I brought it up. I asked if it was okay for me to give it to her. She told me that the way she had been trained was to never accept gifts. However she feels that does more harm than good. So - okay to accept but it needs to be talked about.

T asks, what does it mean to the little girl to be giving vegetables to T? Little Me wants her to like me. T said: and also to show that little girl likes T. She described with a liberal definition of gifts, other things I have brought in. I have given her books to look at, (but I keep them). Other things as well. I gave her a Dammit Doll. I gave her a card when she had to put her cat down. She thanked me for that and said that's what empathetic people do.

Back to the vegetables. I told T that I wanted her to tell me if she didn't want any more of a specific item. Or if she preferred different herbs. Or if she didn't want me to bring it at all. I told her I wouldn't take it as a rejection. T asked if I minded if she shared it with others - namely her housekeeper who she described as an organic kind of person. That's okay I said.

Then T said that she would share her bounty with me. I said no to tomatoes because I typically get a lot of them. Then she asked if I liked grapes. Yes. She would give me grapes.

I felt a little weird thinking about her giving me something - even if in the spirit of sharing produce. I don't want to expect anything from her. I don't want to anticipate a "gift" from her. Still, if she brings grapes, I will accept them. I think, now, we may need to talk about T gifting me!

-RT

Walked out to the parking lot with T after session yesterday and had some veggies in my car to give her. She was like, yum, I'll go home and make a big salad out of this. I'm thinking, boy that would be some salad: beets, cabbage and cilantro! Hmmm, she says, looking in the bag. I've got tomatoes. I'll make salsa.

Then as we were standing between the cars, it felt like there was a hug between us. Like it was just there ready to happen. I didn't say anything because we were outside and that was, well, different. Then she said, can I give you a hug? Bring it on, T. Bring it on.

-RT

I'm still thinking about the grapes, Drags. I'm not sure I can accept a gift from her - 'cepting for all that she gives me every time I see her. The interchange of giving and receiving provides a metaphor ripe with meaning in the world of therapy. We're going to spend a lot of time talking about produce, I'm afraid.

Food for thought, eh?

CD - I have totally hi-jacked your thread. How annoying! I will post my further adventures on my own thread.

So now - how's the garden coming along? Anything to share with T yet?

-RT

(((RT))) no probs on the hijacking thing. i appreciate any input at all and you know you're a dear
i only see T like once a month or so, so not all that often. not often enouugh. yes, i'll share my harvest with the dude, sooner or later.
any whooos ... hugs to everybody needing one

I might ask if I knew the therapist liked plants. I would not just thrust a plant on anybody but that could be because I don't garden at all and I don't really want the burden of a plant thrust on me. When it happens, I politely acknowledge the gift and then dispose of it. So I don't find the idea of giving plants to a therapist wrong in a vacuum, but it would depend upon the hobbies of the therapist for me.