I did something really stupid and didn't tell a anyone aside from a friend who had a very blunt conversation with me. It's been nagging at me to say in therapy but...I can't yet.

I hope you can avoid whatever it is, but if not... even the urge to do so is good to bring up in therapy and so is the action.

So I have... encountered this before and now and the things I have told my Ts that I've done or wanted to do - even though I thought they were show stoppers but nope they've accepted me just as much.

That happened to me at the weekend. Very strong thoughts of something. Under the influence of alcohol I sent my counsellor a text and today I will have to face the consequences of it. I am sure my anticipation of what could happen is far worse that what actually will happen. He will just talk me through it, but all week the anxiety has been building. I tend to do the same as you and avoid talking about anything really serious. I have not told anyone else about these thoughts. I think though to tell your T can only, in the long run, help you. Frightening as it may be.

Happens to me a lot, actually. In the moment, I seem to completely lose my head, and I end up doing stuff I know I shouldn't. I do tattle on myself though, every time I do something dumb. I actually have a little saying to describe me: "I may do stupid stuff, but I will always fess up afterward." Now we're working on fessing up BEFORE I do something dumb, so I don't then feel compelled to do it.

(((BECCA)))

I don't usually realize I've done something stupid until after I've done it because my self-destructive acts aren't always so obvious right away. Well, at least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel so stupid for missing them. I usually fess up to T but there's still one thing I haven't told him and may never tell him.

quote:

Now we're working on fessing up BEFORE I do something dumb, so I don't then feel compelled to do it.

That sounds like a great plan!

Sometimes I text my T before I am about to do something stupid. She can usually help me get contained. Maybe ask your T if you can have some help with that?
I know how hard it is. I fight it alot. 50% of the time I win...50% of the time I don't...It's a working progress

By the way....I'm pretty sure she won't think less of you. We do that enough for ourselves, right? I think she will want to help you...you should go ahead and ask her

Hey kmay, thanks for weighing in. I haven't done my stupid thing yet, but I'm still probably going to. I did talk to T via voicemail tag and sort of told her without really coming out and saying it. She knows me, she knows what it is without my telling her. There is no way in hell she would ever approve. The next session ought to be loads of fun when I have to fess up........not! I absolutely know she will think less of me.

I am assuming this 'stupid thing' is a form of coping mechanism. (If not, just ignore this post, then it is completely off topic).

I am not always coping in the most healthy way. I haven't been able to tell the details as she is very vague when it comes to having people admitted to the hospital and I don't feel save sharing it with her. However, she knows that I have some coping mechanisms that are not considered 'good'.

When we discussed the matter, she told me that she would be a bad T if she'd simply tell me to refrain from my coping mechanism as long as I don't have an alternative in place that does the trick. This coping mechanism seemed/seems to help me survive, thus even though it is considered unhealthy, it is not completely negative.

We are now working on finding alternative & better ways to help me keep grounded and cope.

To sum it up, I don't think that your T thinks any less of you if you use unhealthy coping mechanisms. She will realize that what you do, has some benefits for you one way or the other. Will she be happy/approve you do 'stupid' things? Well no! After all she cares about you. You matter.

But only if you find the courage to talk through this with your T, the two of you can work together to help you find some options.