blackbird... beebee... i miss you already. tears. just miss you.

so sorry you were triggered. i respect your decision and the space you need and i think it is good you are taking care of you...

and i just miss you terribly. please do know that we are here if/when you are ready to come back...

do take care...so many hugs to you...

know you are loved and cared about.
~jane


(p.s. if you wanna talk, we are here too.)

BB,

I'm so sorry. Know that you will be missed and I hope you can come back when feeling safer. ((((hugs))))

Beebs honey, I too can respect this decision, buuuuut.... are you sure you don't wanna draw on the support and love of the community to help you through this? I mean, it's here for you.

Oh, no, BeeBee...I'm sorry for whatever it is that spooked you...

Beebs...you're such a joyful part of this board, you will be sorely missed.

I'm with Jones, I hope there is some way we can help you through this. We love you no matter what you decide. Take care, feathered friend.

Love & hugs,
SG

BB, I am so sorry you feel this way, I have only just 'met' you but I really valued knowing you and I will miss you too.

Look after yourself

Sending you hugs

Butterfly

(((BB))) I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I will miss you.

Smiley

BB I'm so sorry you've been badly triggered. I hope that if you give yourself a bit of time away from here, things will seem not so threatening and maybe you'll want to come back. I hope you do

Thinking of you

LL

Oh no blackbird
Take care of yourself and I hope to see you again someday.

Oh, BB. I'm so sorry that you don't feel safe here right now. Please take care of yourself...you will be greatly missed.

My Beebee... whatever triggered you, i`ll hope you cope and that you will be able to come back whenever you feel ready or want to do so. We`ll miss you but know that we all respect your choice and youre very welcome to come back whenever you want to... If there`s any chance that one of my poster triggered you, i am sorry.

Take care beebee. All the best to you.

Because of a couple of Pm's and reading MH's thread, I thought I'd better make a quick post to explain myself, in the interest of honesty. I haven't left because anybody hurt me. In fact as you can see, I am still reading here, though not as much or as frequesntly. I have left, perhaps a temporary goodbye, because I did something that triggered myself badly, and left me feeling like I am a danger to the community here, and that if I follow up in depth it cause a lot of problems both for others and for myself. I don't feel like I am in an emotionally stable enough frame of mind to deal with this "maturely" because my fear is interfering with my proper use of words and ability to to explain myself on the issue which is a delicate one, and quite complicated. But I must abosolutely an unequivicolly say, that nobody here has done anything to hurt me...not in the least. All of you are an awesome supportive bunch of people, and I am sorry if my leaving has upset any of you. I in all sincerity did not think that would be the case, and in my presnt rather self-punishing frame of of mind have only been able to think it would be a case of "good riddance, creep." I'm surprised that this doesn't seem to be the case. But you know how it is, we hurt oursleves we hurt others in the process...I can be so blind that I might actually positively affect others, that it is impossible for me to believe that anyone would truly care one way or the other whether I am here or not. Please forgive me for not being able to believe that "I matter" even here. I can see that negative belief-it can cause problems. So I am sorry for being so thoughtless and not explaining myself. In my defense this was not a bid for attention, at everyone's expense. I am not brave enough to say more, this is the best I can do for now. I just found I needed a break from the pressure of fearing my words are hurting others, but not knowing if it's ok to delete or not, either.

Please forgive me if I have hurt anyone, or caused problems, or scared anyone away. I didn't mean it to happen like that. I really thought I'd do least damage by disappearing. Maybe leaving a goodbye was wrong thing to do. I am sorry about that, too. I am very, very sorry for screwing up so badly. I just need a break.

BB

Hi BB and thanks for posting more of an explanation as to why you felt you had to leave. I’m sorry you’ve become so freaked out and I hope you can get yourself into a less frightening place soon (and come back too!)

Like you I find it impossible to believe (or even think) that my being here or going away would affect anyone else - so I can relate to it not even entering your head that your suddenly saying goodbye might have hurt or upset anyone else.

However, I’ve kind of taught myself to imagine how I would feel if someone were saying or doing things to me that I say/do to others, and that way I can anticipate to a point that yes indeed people can and do get affected by my words/actions. Don’t often get it right, but I hope that it stops me hurting or upsetting others unintentionally - they don’t know that I don’t believe I’m worth shit, so it’s hard to expect them to understand my motives without at least explaining them.

I’m glad you were able to feel that we do care about you BB and that your absence DOES matter to people. If and when you do feel strong enough to talk about what’s going on for you, I hope you can believe that you’ll get all the support and caring you need here.

LL

BB,

I understand the need to step back and I appreciate you coming back to explain more. My response in the other thread was just to say that I do miss people when they go away from here and that everyone here matters. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Bebee. stop punishing youself now and take good care of your self instead. I am sure that your leaving - was only good-intended and that you did because you felt you needed to protect yourself, and of course wasnt ment to couse any pain here. Youre still goin to be missed around here- but i hope and think we all here respect your choice for being absent for a while.

all the best beebee.

((((((((beebee))))))))
glad you are taking time to take care of you,

hope that you can let in a little of the deep care and concern and kindness felt towards you,

and know that you are love just as you are, even if you couldn't express things carefully or well or without stepping on toes...

thank you for the further explaination - that does help. I do hope you do care very good care of yourself and if/when you are ready, you do come back. taking care of you first and foremost is the most important thing you can do on or off the forums.

I am proud of you for seeing that you needed a break... and even noticing that yeah, those lies that many of us (myself very much included) tell ourselves that we don't matter are not only not true, but can hurt.

you are loved and cared for - regardless if you are here or not.

do take good care. and no punnishing yourself! you should be proud for seeing that you needed a break! it's very ok.

miss you and many hugs,

~jd


p.s. to everyone, and my own self: while we all must work to be sensitive to each other, we all must also work to only own our own stuff. we all have the freedom to speak, and might accidentally unintentionally offend... we are all only human...

bb, you take a break, ok?? it is ok. you are fine, we miss you, and we are all a bunch of people who, at least for me, feel often like you are saying about yourself.

i hate that. i HATE the people who did this to all of us. i really do.

i hate that life is so hard at times, and bb, i hate that you are struggling.

please take care, and i do understand what you said in your reply.

hugs, jill