There is no peace happening while brain finds it necessary to remind me of rejection via dreams and memory. She still wants me triggered enough to feel it. Therefore, I am in a constant state of wanting to shake those feelings off with distractions, but that's only a temporary fix, and not the solution I am looking for.

Brain has never been smart enough to think my way out of how I feel.

When I do feel rejection, inevitably anger follows. My only real outlet for anger these days is in a session. The critical level for my overload of anger hits its peak within 3 days post session, and is accessible mainly under hypno. Brain is scrapping the bottom of my anger barrel, forcing up spits and spats of unadulterated rage from within its core.

Some holiday!

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