One of my Ts said that my voice sounds different lately. She said that over the past year, I keep talking with this voice that sounds different. She said, "the old, er, other voice comes back sometimes, but less and less." She said that I also say more, and ask less. Like I told her, "I need to walk." I didn't ask - I just said it and started walking. She walked with me, as we often do. I just used to always say, "can we walk?"

She said that a different part of me seems to be talking more. I'm not fully DID. My other T says I have like a fragmented personality - or at least that is what she said the last time we talked. But, both my Ts subcribe to the idea that we all have parts. Like this T, the one that talked about my voice, has talked about listening to her younger part of herself to help me understand something once...

I think the fact that I am saying things, and not asking, as much, about things that are likely probably really ok (and that she would tell me if they are not), is a good thing between us and probably a sign of progress for me.

But my voice sounding different? My T said it wasn't just the content, but the way I say it. I didn't ask more about it... I probably should. I'm not entirely sure what my T is talking about.

I have long known that I generally have a very young sounding voice, especially on the phone, especially when I'm emotional. Despite my age, if I get a telemarketing call, I used to be asked all the time if my "mommy or daddy" was home. I wonder if I sound any "older" now...

I have read some that people who go through trauma at young ages will sometimes sound like they are still a young age on the phone - that it is not a totally unique thing to me. I can talk about complex and adult htings in very adult ways, and yet, when I have heard myself recorded, I sound like I'm between 7-11. I'm a liitle embarassed about this, so I think my T's comment made me feel a little weird. She doesn't know I feel this way about my very litteral voice. I also have a theme in my trauma of feeling like they took my voice. My T does know that. Sometimes I have even become unable to speak at all with her. So to have her comment, or perhaps compliment, my voice, was... kind of a big deal... I guess.

I think I'm wondering if anyone else has had their voice, or the way they talk, or the way they sound, change at all through therapy...? It might just be me. It might be a dissociative thing. It might be something else. It might be all of this. I don't know. I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or has had any experiences like this at all?

~ jane