My T keeps his files in a locked cabinet. I would never peek at anything. It would be a breach of privacy, confidentiality and trust. My T allows me to sit in his office when he's out on his 5 minute break and I have his permission to browse his bookshelves and look at any book I want to (I LOVE his bookshelves) but I was told his desk is off limits. I would NEVER go near his desk because I would never want to breach the trust he has in me. Nothing else is that important. Besides, if I wanted to see my file I could ask and he would show it to me.

TN

I have never seen my file, my T doesn't take notes when I am there. I don't think I would ever want to see my flie. I am not sure my T would let me look at it or read it - but I am sure she would tell me some of the stuff she writes in it if I asked her.

If it was out on the table... yup I would peek. My T does not take notes in session.

One time when I was feeling particularly brave and nosy near the end of a session I asked T if I could read her notes. They were sitting on the table between us and I could see she had written a bit (normally she doesn't write much). I could tell at first she was opening her mouth to say no, but then she changed her mind and said, "Oh, all right. I think I just jotted a few things."

I explained that I was just curious to know what seemed important to her. The notes were a little boring, honestly, clinical and detached. "Too removed" as catalyst said. I think I can learn more about how my T sees me from interacting with her and asking questions than from reading these things, so my curiosity to see my whole file isn't strong. That said, if an opportunity arose and I really thought I wouldn't be "caught". . . I'm sure the temptation would be there.

My T would show me my file if I asked, but he has recommended I not, as it's not something he thinks would be useful to me. As others have said, it's very clinical. He just uses a form with lots of boxes to check and a summary. He does it to fulfill requirements, but I don't think there is much therapeutic about it, nor does he include the details we've discussed, which makes me feel safer. I mean, I don't know for sure, but the summary section is less than half a page and he has told me it's a generalization/summary of the session.

I have teased him while he checks boxes on the form, and he has let me look at it. Usually, it's at the beginning of the session and I'll say something along the lines of, "Oh, come on, I plan on being way more 'interesting' and 'complicated' than that today." He has told me that a bunch of the boxes are ones that get checked every single time, that he knows will be relevant, either with every client or me specifically. He doesn't often do it in front of me, so that's pretty rare.

I think he believes I have a complex over the number of boxes he checks, but since I saw the form, it doesn't bother me. I wouldn't say anything I saw him check that one time was inaccurate or offensive. Anyway, other than mild curiosity about how he does his job, I have no interest in seeing the file, and of course would never consider trying to look without his knowledge. Plus, I'm pretty sure he keeps them locked when he's not in the office, and since he shares an office with others who use it on different days, most of his files travel home with him.

The most embarrassing thing is knowing I have multiple folders. Several months ago, we were on "Non IV" or something, because he keeps all my journals in them too. I don't journal as much now that I feel safer just talking in session, so hopefully that's slowing down, lol. Overall, it makes me feel really safe that he is diligent about performing that part of his job, but doesn't put too much emphasis on it, and always openly discusses it if I'm feeling curious or insecure. Because I feel safe, and cared about, and liked no matter how complicated I am, I don't feel any need to see it. Sometimes my confidence in his acceptance falters, but not for long enough anymore that I would get to the point of needing to "investigate." Now that I've said that, I feel like I've jinxed myself...

Thanks for the replies! I have been tempted to take my whole file and make a run for it. Not sure what that would accomplish, however :/

If I did take it, I would torch it.

T.

My t gives me his notes from our last session when I arrive at my next session. Sometimes We read them, sometimes I don't read them until afterwards. It helps me to understand what his impressions are, what the plan of treatment is, diagnosis, etc. My t is unique, there is only one other patient that he gives them to. I appreciate him doing so.